Part 32: Mission #30: Dead Men Blog No Tales

Mission #30: Dead Men Blog No Tales

We're halfway done! With this one branch! Which is shorter than the other branch! Oh God, I'm less than a quarter of the way done with the LP....



: We crushed a rebel base. It wasn't a complete waste.
: I don't agree with how the Rapid Reaction Force operates.
: Did something happen?
: A little.
: Hey, speak of the devil!
: Commander, your information is useless. We'll search the cities on our own from now on.
I'm not sure that burning a village to the ground constitutes a 'search.'
: Are you going to Wan'an? We already searched there.
: I can't rely on your information. We'll find him on our own.
: Wait! Are you going to search the town in you wanzers!?
: That's up to the rebels. If they resist, we'll have to make a sacrifice in order to complete the mission.
I don't think that's how a sacrifice works.
: What!? I can't believe her! She doesn't even care about killing innocent people!
: The Rapid Reaction Force carries out their mission, no matter what cost. That's why they never make any mistakes. You can look at the government notice page on the web to see the military's movement.
: What are you saying? Are you saying it was the people's fault!?
: They helped the rebels. It's proper punishment.
Now, at this point, you may be thinking that the game is setting us up to eventually have to fight Lan to the death. But nothing is ever that simple in this game.
: You don't need to kill innocent people!
: You don't know what dirty tactics they use! They pretend nonresistance, then shoot you in the back. Do you know how many lives were lost to their tactics?
: You're doing the same damn thing!
: Stop it, Kazuki.
: But...!
: Train your subordinates properly, Liu.
: !
: That's enough, Kazuki. They have their way of doing things.
: ...
: I understand if you don't feel right about it. I still need to help them. You guys get some rest here.
: I don't feel right about making you work by yourself.
Uh...Alisa, as we saw last time, the 'work' involves a whole lot of brutal murders.
: Don't worry about it. Besides, it's easier to move around the city if I'm alone.
: I'm sorry.
: It's all right. Just don't forget to cool him off!
: ...
: Don't worry about me. Just cool off, okay?
Hmmm...there's only one way to do that, and it's a longshot. It could kill us all....



We'll have to take him out...drinking!
: Yes. It's bad for your health.
: Shut up! I can't condone sacrificing innocent lives!
: I agree with Kazuki. It's not right...
: Alright, alright. Now why don't we talk about something more upbeat?
: Hello.
: Will you get me a glass of water?
: Here you are.
: Thanks.
: Hey, Kazuki, doesn't he look familiar?
: ...?
: Oh, I know who he is! He's a journalist named Wei Ching Yee. He's pretty famous!
: I've read this articles before. He writes pretty harsh articles.
: Why is he here in the countryside?
: Maybe he's working on a story.
: I want his autograph!
Oh, Miho, you are adorable. Also, everyone is forgetting that Lan just put a village to the torch looking for a man named 'Wei.'
: There was a battle nearby. I wonder if it's moving towards this town.
: There was a battle at a village nearby. Many people died. Neither the military nor the rebels have any concern for civilians! I don't trust anyone who kills!
: The special forces fought the rebels in a village nearby. Was it the Express Rapid Forces? They're amazing!
I just realized something. We're in China and Liu isn't here. How are we understanding what anyone is saying?
: Um... Mr. Wei Ching Yee? I'm a fan of yours! Can I have your autograph?
: Sorry. I'm busy right now.
: Um... I'd just like your autograph and a handshake.
: Sorry, don't get too close.
: Okay... Sorry to bother you.



You know who didn't forget the army was looking for Wei? The army.
: ! Bartender, where is the back door?
: Over there.
: Thanks.
: Where are you going!?
: Did you get his autograph?
: He ran away when he saw a soldier.
: Ran away? Sounds suspicious.
: Maybe he's the one Liu is looking for.
: Should we go after him?
: I knew you were gonna say that! You have to stick your nose into everything.
: But life is exciting with Kazuki!
Life is also exciting if you're on fire, but that doesn't mean we should all douse ourselves in kerosene...or does it?
: Let's go before we lose him!



: Persistent bastards. That rumor about me contacting the rebels didn't work.
: There he is!
: !? You're...
: You run fast...
: Yeah, think about the people who are chasing you...
: Who are you!?
: That's my question! What did you do that got the military chasing you?
: Are you with the DHZ military!?
: Not exactly. We're mercenaries hired by the DHZ.
: You kids are mercenaries? Ha ha ha... I never would have guessed. I must be getting old. Fine. Arrest me!
We don't arrest people, we put them in the ground.
: Hold on. I want to hear your side of the story. You're a famous journalist, right? Why is the military after you?
: You guys don't know anything?
: I told you we were only mercenaries. We were never told to capture you.
: Then I'll warn you. Stop working for the DHZ military. I'm trying to make classified military information public. Once that happens, it's the end of Chairman Jie.
Neat. Except, of course, for the fact that Chairman Jie is about the only powerful man in the world not currently trying to kill us.
: The end? What is the DHZ trying to do?
: Do you know about the national laboratory in Ravnui?
This game doesn't have plot twists so much as it assumes that you aren't really paying attention. As you might recall, but probably don't, we're currently trekking to Shanghai to meet the ambassador from, you guessed it, Ravnui.
: Ravnui...
: What's going on in Ravnui?
: One of the laboratories there, the Orsha Engineering lab, is rumored to be conducting unethical experiments.
: Unethical experiments?
: They're building a super-human through genetic manipulation. If they succeed, they can place these subjects in the military or the government and control world affairs.
Replicants? Did mankind learn nothing from Blade Runner?
: That's terrible. An artificial human...
: And they'll be used like puppets.
: Did the experiment succeed?
: I don't think so. Even if it works, I hear the subjects go insane.
: What's the relationship between the DHZ and the research in Ravnui?
: Chairman Jie is paying for the research.
: Is that true!?
: There's no proof of that yet. I'm almost there. That's if I don't get killed, first.
: I see...
: You want to know more? You'll have to do your own research. Maybe you can hack into the Intelligence Agency web site. Are you going to turn me in?
: I'd be betraying a friend if I let you go, but if what you're saying is true, I can't let you die.
: Yes. If I die, no one will ever find out the truth.
: Then go.
Kazuki become gradually more tolerable as the game goes on, if only because his anger doesn't seem quite a disproportionate when dealing with a global conspiracy to take over the world with genetically engineered humans.
: Kazuki!?
: Are you sure, Kazuki?
: I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but I can't let someone die in front of me.
That'd be more meaningful if you hadn't stood by and watched Lan execute Yue last mission.
: All right. Thanks. You're not the mercenary type. You're too nice.
: It's not like we volunteered.



: Yes. What happened to the Rapid Reaction Force?
: They're no longer here.
: Why?
: They finished their mission and went back to Tianlei. We're free to move on now.
: What do you mean, they finished their mission?
: I guess they found the guy they were looking for.
: So he didn't make it...
Why does everything Kazuki touches turn to ash? Have we managed to do anything right this entire game?
: What are you talking about?
: It's nothing. Liu, we trusted the DHZ military so far. But can they really be trusted?
: Of course. I brought you here to here to protect you. Is something wrong, Kazuki!?
: Okay. I trust you.
: What's gotten into you?
: Man, that Lan lady dissed us! Why didn't she take us with her if she was going back to Tianlei!
: What's going to happen now?
: I couldn't get a transport plane, but I got us an armored train.
: That humongous train?
: It's better than nothing, right?
Well, given that a train is bound to a series of highly visible routes that can easily be blocked by guerrillas? Probably not.
: Yes. We'll take it. Let's go!



If this surprises you, then you must be new here.



: Here they come, boss!
: ...Are you positive it's the armored car?
: Yes, I'm sure. The mercenaries should be on that train.
: Okay, start the mission. I want no mistakes!
: Yes, sir!



Ouch.



: Miho, what's wrong!?
: Ahh! Ahhh!
: Damn, pull her out!



Oh, Miho.
: We won't make it! Jump!



And then the train plummets into the ravine and explodes. How many transport vehicles has our party managed to wreck so far? And keep in mind that it's implied that the sub we were using got vaporized by MIDAS.
: Good! Attack! Don't let them get away!
: How annoying.
: If they're looking for a fight, I'll give them one!



Battle time...finally! The debuts for Miho's Girl in Blue, which doesn't get a chance to show off its best feature this mission, and Liu's RiflesForever, the latest in a long line of wanzers designed to force me to use rifles, thus eventually giving me a stroke due to the stress and then taking over this LP. You'll never get away with it!



Kazuki gets the fight started on a good note by triggering Double Punch, letting him hit twice.



But that is not enough for Kazuki, he then continues his combo with a devastating Melee III



And that's the Grapple's fist arm, meaning that the enemy is basically toast.



But Kazuki still wants more! He finishes his combo with an eject punch, knocking the poor, beleaguered rebel pilot out of the ruins of his Grapple. Damn, four punches in a row, one of which did double-damage? I think this is the generation of wanzers where you guys finally figured out how to make truly powerful machines.



Meanwhile, Pham shows off Double Assault, which we last saw a long, long time ago. This is not going to be a long fight.



And that is the strongest wanzer the rebels have being mostly destroyed in one round. I have placed my trust in the hivemind and been rewarded.



Fists are still scary, as Miho learns.



Even Liu manages to show off a game-breaking skill. What does Arm Smash do, you may ask?



It destroys an enemy's arm, regardless of how much damage is done. That's one way of making a rifle effective.



Pham cooks another rebel.



And drives a stake through the named character's heart. I don't think he was a vampire, but I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry.
: This is sad. We can't even hold them off...



Two interesting things happen here. First, Pham activates ROF UP III which doubles a weapon's rate of fire, meaning that Pham'll be shooting 22! bursts of fire at the helicopter, which leads to interesting thing number 2: You can totally kill a helicopter with a flamethrower. That's so crazy that I've never even seen it in an action movie.



Kazuki gets two Melee IIIs in a row, forcing the enemy pilot's family to hold a closed-casket funeral.



This fight mainly takes place on the half-intact bridge. In a startling development, the rifle wanzers on this map are smart enough to try and keep their distance from my team. Lamentably, they don't have the move range to pull it off. Anyway, Miho managed to knock a pilot out of his wanzer. Now, Flamethrowers don't make much sense as an anti-wanzer weapon...



...but work just fine against foot troops.



Ah, the price of using weapons we don't have levels in. Kazuki wins MVP.


: Damn, we're surrounded!
: I didn't think Zhuwen would be defeated... But he seems to have slowed them down a little. All units, commence attack! Let's hit 'em hard! A helicopter!?



Oh, what fresh hell...



That does not look promising.



: If you're not fighting, stay back!
: Who are you!?
: You're in the way! Move!
: Get it together! It's time to earn our pay! All units, break!



: The Wulong! The Wulong are here!
: What!? The Wulong!? All units, pull back! Hurry!
: Ahhhh!
: Run! Damn! We don't stand a chance against the Wulong with our numbers.
Why can't we ever inspire that kind of panic in our enemies?



: Hey, save the thanks... We're about to figure out what to do with you.
: !? You're not allies?
: We're the Centipede. We're the mercenaries hired by the DHZ. They call us the Wulong in this country. It's our job to hunt down the Hua Lian.
The Centipede is a terrible name for mercenary group. You should name yourself after something a normal person can crush with their foot.
: Then you are with the DHZ! We're allies, man!
: You don't get it, do you...? You guys took our bounty. You're competing with us.
: Wait a minute! We had no intention of...!
: No, the fact is, your attacks on the Hua Lian are reducing our profits.
Christ, every single person in the universe hates our party.
: It's not like we want to fight!
: You're mercenaries, and you hate fighting?
: Heh, you must be stupid! Then why are you fighting?
Well, technically, the inciting action for this story, and thus all of these fights was Kazuki's stupidity.
: I fight because I have things I must protect! It's definitely not because I take pleasure in fighting...
: Protect what? Heh, you're kidding me, right?
: Don't be so self-righteous.
: Don't you have something to protect!?
: You're a straight arrow, aren't you? I like you, kid!
: I'm not a kid!
There is no situation that Kazuki cannot turn into unnecessary combat!
: Forget it, Kazuki. Money is everything to them. It's useless.
: Oh, if it isn't Liu from Intelligence.
: Rudolf, I think you teased my friends enough already.
: Remember this, kid! Champion of justice is all good, but there's more to that in war.
: Let me guess, it's money!
: Money never betrays you.
With the notable exception of the Euro Crisis of 2055, when money started attacking ordinary citizens after....well, you know the rest.
: Hey, are you done with the pointless discussion yet!? Weren't we going to the Tianlei?
: ...We're pretty banged up. Are we going to keep walking?
: Liu, we can drop you off there. How about it?
: Really!?
: Yeah, and you'll probably want a reward for it, right?
: As I said, you need money to survive.
: Fine, I'll have intelligence pay the bill this time. Transport us to the Tianlei.
: Sounds like a deal. You're in a hurry, right? We're taking off ASAP!



Next Time: The Square Root of Negative One!