Part 78: Mission #15: ICBEmma

And you guys wonder why I'm so angry. Anyway, time for a big, big update, which will be followed by the next build cycle. At the very least, it'll give you something else to complain about.

Mission #15: ICBEmma



: Yeah.
: I would've been fine by myself.
: Hey, you screwed up. Don't be so cocky.
: What? What are you saying?
: You got caught tryin' to hack the military computers, right?
: Don't worry. We weren't counting on you.
: When did I screw up?! I have the information!
: But...isn't that why you got caught?
: I got caught trespassing when I was running from the undertaker.
She...lives in a funeral home? Or does she mean the wrestler?
: It wasn't because you got caught stealing information?
: Of course not. I'm not stupid.
: Being caught by a guard isn't stupid?
: Just forget about it. I have a proposition to make.
: What, you want more money?
: Nah. I can't stay here. You guys are a good business opportunity. Will you hire me?
Do I get a vote in this? If so, then I vote 'no' several thousand times.
: What? You want to join us?
: Right. And I'll give you a 20% discount on the job I just finished.
: Why don't you make it free?
: Nothing is free in this world.
Very pithy, if not particularly meaningful seeing as the player doesn't pay her in any case.
: That's right. We can't hire you that easily.
: What? Please?
: No.
Big D, you're the greatest.
: Fine. Get the transport information from someone else, then.
: She can be so immature sometimes.
: It's like watching kids fight.
: I'm not a kid!
: Don't look at me like that!
: Dennis, she can come with us.
: Hey, that's not fair!
For maybe the only time in the game, Kazuki channels the feelings of the player perfectly.
: Then let me join you.
: Why don't you hire her, Dennis? She's a good hacker, for all we know.
: All right. But this is it. I'm not a babysitter.
Oh, poor Dennis...the worst is still to come.
: I'm not a kid! I'm 17 already! And my real name is Yun Lai Fa!
: Oh, Moneymaker's not your real name?
: A name like that for a cute girl like me? No way!
: Give us the information now, Yun.
: Sure! Come with me.



: Just show us.
: Hey, quiet! I'm trying to concentrate!



: Here's the transport flight data. 2 transports left from Atsugi and went to Taal Base in the Philippines.
: Any information on the cargo?
: The first says supply, and the second says additional personnel. And the list of personnel is...
: What's this!?
: The same names as the scientists in Yokosuka.
: That's it!
: Yes. They transported MIDAS to the Philippines with the scientists.
: Wait.
: What's wrong, Kazuki?
: Alisa's name is on the list!
: You're right! Says Alisa Takemura here.



Yep, that's Alisa, all right...and her portrait still looks weird.
: What does this mean?! Is Alisa in the Philippines, too?
: Probably. Her name is on the list with all of the other scientists.



: I told you. Alisa is a smart cookie.
A smart cookie? That's not exactly how I'd describe her.
: We have to help her!
: Don't get impatient. Let's go back to the aircraft carrier first.
: ...All right. Hatta, thanks for everything.
: Any time. Hope you find what you're looking for.
: Yeah. We're coming, Alisa!



Back to the fleet.



: We now have a list of transport flight data and cargo.
: So you weren't just wasting time.
: The transport is heading for Taal Base in the Philippines.
: The Philippines are deep in OCU territory. Taking a whole fleet could start a war. What are you going to do?
Since when does anyone in this game care about starting a war?
: We infiltrate on a submarine and surprise attack.
: The Philippines have Dagat Ahas, remember? Even a submarine can't get past it.
: Dagat Ahas?
: Their navy's mobile fortress One of those can take on a fleet, easy.
: Are you serious!? Maybe we should think it over, Dennis.
: I agree with you. It would take a whole fleet to stand up to that. This is way too much for you kids. We should go back to Midway and come up with a better plan.
: No! We're in a hurry! I have to rescue Alisa!
: Captain, if we don't act now, MIDAS might be carried away again!
: I can't risk the lives of my crew on a reckless mission.
Coward! What kind of captain won't put his men in danger in order to appease one angry mercenary he just met!
: We'll lose MIDAS again if we stall here any longer.
: Kazuki I understand your concerns, but the captain is right. If we could only do something about Dagat Ahas...
: No way. It's too dangerous.
: Do we get paid extra for the risk?
: We're going back to Midway.
: What if it's not so reckless?
: Lukav!?
: You have an idea?
: What other options do we possibly have?
: You know there's a civil war going on in the Philippines.
: Yes. Between the military and the rebels.
: The rebels got more active recently, as seen in the invasion of Luzon. The Da Han Zhong Army is backing them up.
: The DHZ army is?
: They're probably after the underwater oil field held by the Philippines.
: They'd acquire the oil field by aiding the rebels.
: It doesn't matter. My point is that the military is occupied with the civil war. That includes Dagat Ahas.
The implication here is that the rebels are in exactly the same position as they were in the other branch, meaning that all of our efforts in Alisa's branch basically did nothing to change to course of the rebellion. See, Kazuki's party manages to fail even in the other branch!
: ! So, now is the time for surprise attacks.
: I will accompany Purple Haze on this mission? Any concerns, captain?
: ...No. Good luck, Lukav.
: I'll explain the details on the submarine. Get ready.
: So we're stealing MIDAS while they're engaged in civil war.
: It's like looting during a riot.
: Can we steal stuff other than MIDAS?
: You might come back alive, if you're lucky. Good luck.
: There's no time for small talk. Get ready.



: Joe! Thanks for helping out the other day.
: No problem. I hear we're working together this time.
: Yeah.
: Hey, you'll be safe with me!
: Just see that you don't become a liability.
: You're still pretty butch.
Ryogo Kusama, ladies and gentlemen!
: We don't have much time, everyone. Let's get ready.
: You know what the most important thing in driving a wanzer is? It's rhythm. You need good rhythm!
: It's an important mission. Don't screw up. I'm worried about you, Ryogo.
: Don't worry. We'll back you up.



: Our target is an OCU base this time. Be extra careful.
: Hey, time's money. Let's go!
: You'll finally see Alisa.



Well, it's time to head back to that ol' heart of darkness that is Taal Base.



: It's a daredevil tactic. Look.



: They hollowed out the mountain to make a natural fortress. Our objective is the laboratory deep inside the mountain.
: You can only attack this from the air, right?
: Submarines can't fly so what's the point of being on one?
: Do you know what this is?
: A lake?
: Yes, at the bottom of Taal Lake there's a connection to the sea.
Some would say that's pretty fucking convenient. Then again, given what Lukav's about to suggest as our plan, it's the least of our problems.
: That's how we're getting in!?
: It's dangerous, but not impossible.



: It'd take too long to walk to the base.
: We'll place the wanzers in a pod and launch them directly into the base.
: !?
: We're using wanzers as missiles!?
: I-Is that gonna be okay!?
That may seem insane, but, amazingly enough, it's still not the most insane way of getting into battle we'll see in this branch.
: As long as the wanzers can withstand it.
: Huh...
: I already told you this would be a daredevil tactic.
: You got balls, Lukav. I like daredevils.



: There are two routes to the center. Route A through the front, and route B up the mountain's face. Choose a route depending on how the battles go.
: So which is easier?
: Decide that for yourself.
: Hey, don't always take the easy way.
: But I like taking the easy way...
Man, Moneymaker, you are knocking Ryogo off of his game! How is Ryogo supposed to be the comic relief when we've got a craven coward like you on the team?
: Purple Haze and I will be the diversionary force. Emma's group will infiltrate the laboratory and seize MIDAS.
: What about the scientists?
: We'll rescue them, along with MIDAS.
: That's the mission. Everybody, take battle positions!



In the briny depths, the submarine approaches its destination...
: We've reached the target point. Pilot confirmed. Stand by for wanzer launch. Launch wanzers!



Bet you didn't know that submarines could be so easily refitting to fire wanzers, eh?



And we're off!



These may be the least aerodynamic missiles I've ever seen.



Oh, I'm sorry, now they're the least aerodynamic missiles I've ever seen. But seriously, opening panels like this when you're going several hundred miles per hour seems like a really bad idea.



And the wanzers are successfully dropped.



: Take out the radar and comm facilities! Draw the enemies in. Do what you want afterward.
: Copy that!
: Let's dance!



The Calmzuki has landed.
: Ugh! That was pretty hectic...
: Yeowch! Who's the crazy punk who thought this plan up!?
: Kazuki, Ryogo, we're going!
: Ryogo, make sure you don't slack off!
: Heh, don't be a slacker yourself. If you do your job, I might even consider dating you.
: You gotta be kidding me! You call that incentive!?
Will these crazy kids find love? And, more importantly, will I care?
: Ryogo, let's go!



The thread has spoken. To the mountain!
: Looks like we can save time. However, the terrain is pretty rough.



: It's an enemy attack!
: Is it the rebels!?
: They're wanzers of unknown nationality.
: Unknown? Who are they? Verify their origin. Quickly!
: Yes, sir!
: What do the want? I see, they're here for MIDAS. Bring the soldier confined for insubordination.
The commander has no choice. If he is to fight a ragtag bunch of misfits, he must use the raggiest, taggiest misfit he has at his disposal.
: That would be violation of military regulations...
: I don't care!
: Yes, sir!
: Contact the lab and get MIDAS ready for transport! I don't know who you are, but you'll never get to it.



That red wanzer is Moneymaker's default Prov PAW2, which has decent arms, and a terrible legs unit. I'll switch it out for the Bazillions immediately.
: We can get in through there.
: What kind of cannon is that?
: It's an anti-aircraft It can attack targets, too. Be careful!
: You're awfully cool about it...
: There's no time to hesitate! We're going in!
: Chill out, Kazuki...
: Of course. If it's for Alisa's sake, he'll do anything.
: Ewww, an overprotective brother... I don't like that type.
Huh. Gal's got a point.



Kazuki, Emma, Dennis and Moneymaker make up the starting lineup. Moneymaker, who, for the sake of brevity, I'll call Yun henceforth, is in the Bazillions, a shotgun/shield wanzer.



Dennis gets the mission rolling with a nice hit on this Jinyo's machine gun arm.



And Yun capitalizes on the opportunity, crippling it. Excellent work. This map has a couple of Jinyos, a few stationary cannons, and a pair of helicopters on the far side of the map...a bit too far for their own good, as it will turn out.



I send Kazuki to destroy one of the cannons, if only because the enemy likes to target him given the chance, so I'd prefer to move him away from the bulk of the battle. As you can see, my efforts were not entirely successful.



Here's the deal with the helicopters on this mission. Beyond a certain range, the AI won't move units to attack your enemy. Put more simply, if an enemy is seven or eight squares away from one of your units, it simply won't move or attack. The missile, of course, has a range of 9 squares, making it possible to kill distant enemies without them ever doing anything. Emma takes down the first chopper in such a manner.



Dennis triggers Zoom I and proceeds to...miss completely. Damnable rifles.



Meanwhile, having blown up a cannon, Kazuki circle back and forces a Jinyo to surrender.



The other helicopter goes down without a fight. Is that a dolphin on its wing? Dolphins can't fly...



Dennis forces another wanzer to surrender in a way only he could manage...by missing the shot with his rifle.



And, just as I'm about to write off the Hey Joe entirely, Dennis manages to string together a devastating three hit combo. Now I don't know what to think.



Emma blasts apart another wanzer. This whole mission is making me question my assumptions about the utility of the weapon types in this game. Then again, since I don't make the wanzers anyway, it doesn't really matter what I think.



And then Dennis misses a shot at point-blank range. Maybe my prejudices were right after all.



Dennis closes things out.



Ugh. Even though it breaks my heart, the ol' DongItScienc wins MVP.



: It's pretty cramped. Spread out, everyone.
: Okay, let's go!

Bonus Video

Emma Mission #15

This isn't the same playthrough, but uses the same wanzers. Also, note that one of the helicopters does manages to move this time, albeit to no great effect.

Next Time: Just Like Star Wars!