Part 50

If you want to play Mr. Sneaky Commodity Thieving Bastard Child, this is the ship to go for. If you're playing with friends, be aware that Mr. Sneaky Commodity Thieving Bastard Child is going to get punched in the face quite a lot. Consider wearing a helmet.

Also be aware that advertising for commodities may be counterproductive. Any goods left over in the marketplace are fair game for your opponents, even if they're only there because of your ads. As long as you're getting there first, there should be enough to fill your ship and leave your enemies with slim pickings.

You should probably leave Pyke out of the game if you plan to use the Stinger. You already have the fastest ship, so why give your competitors the chance to overtake you?

Also, choose Nosh as a planet and put it in the middle, so it's never too far away. You will not be able to wait for low fuel prices with a 20-ton fuel tank. Zobrok's discounts will save your life.




I don't think I've ever used this one, so I don't have much to say about it. It doesn't look horrible, but there's nothing in particular to recommend it.

I will say that five crew members might not seem so bad, since the average is four. The problem is that when you buy a bigger ship, your crew size increases by 50%, and it rounds up. That means three extra crew members when you upgrade, rather than two. Still not that big a deal, but bigger than it appears at first glance.




This clearly should have been called "Tashe-teroid", but we'll let it slide because it's a pretty good ship.

Le Rock boasts the cheapest running costs of any ship in the game. Its huge fuel tank lets you pick the perfect times to fill up, and 3 crew members means only 4,500 a week on wages. This is one I'd recommend if you're a beginner, because it's very hard to go wrong with it.

Plus, it shares the best theme tune with the Mantagon.




This thing is awesome, but you have to play your cards right. Two kuarps makes this the slowest of all the ships, so your mighty cargo capacity won't count for squat unless you spend a lot on ads. Put Pyke in the game and upgrade your engine early and often.

Whaler is best used on easy to medium difficulties, where the profits on cargo are still significant. That way you're making best use of all the space, rather than just the passengers. Just watch those crew wages. They can make it tricky to get off the ground.




The problem with these "middle of the road" ships is that you want a high passenger capacity on high difficulty levels, and a high cargo capacity on low difficulty levels. Being average across the board just isn't that useful, especially when it comes to engines. If you're going to be fast, be really fast. Otherwise, just be slow and advertise a lot.

That said, if you're determined to have an all-rounder, go with Cerebralis. Two extra passengers beats one fewer crew member.

Also this thing has a terrible theme tune.




Eh.

Ergh.

Urrrrrghhh.

BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHH






it's alright




The other fast ship. I'd stick with the Stinger, personally. The only edge the Globulizer has is its fuel capacity, and even that is below average. As is everything else about it.

Is a seven kuarp engine really worth your ship being mediocre in every other aspect? I don't think it is, but then maybe I'm underestimating the Sneaky Commodity Thieving Bastard Child playstyle.




Oh dear.

Look, don't even bother. The cargo capacity will not help you. With a three kuarp engine and room for only one passenger, you will never make any money unless you're playing on an easy setting. And even then, you'd probably be better off with the Whaler.

I always used this ship as a kid, but that is because I was a stupid kid who did not understand passengers. Don't be a stupid kid. Pick something else.




This one got a mention in the narrative, but I think it warrants another look since a lot of folks were recommending it.

The Worm Shuttle is arguably the best ship to use on the higher difficulties. Due to the smaller price ranges on commodities, you'll be getting most of your income from passengers. Being able to hold sixteen of them is a huge advantage.

What kills it for me is the running cost. Twelve crew members means 18,000 kubars a week on salaries, which is murderous when you're getting started. The 30-ton fuel tank doesn't help either, and the speedy engine kind of goes to waste when your cargo capacity is that small.

I prefer the Mantagon because it's more economical. You can afford to make a couple of mistakes or have a few mishaps. With the Worm Shuttle, you need to be on your game right from the beginning or you'll get buried under a gigantic pile of back wages.

Also the Mantagon looks cooler and has cooler music.

If you are going to use this ship, make sure Loro is in the game and visit it as often as possible. The more you can avoid paying your crew, the better.




Basically a slightly improved Cerebralis, with the downside of two extra crew members. I'd recommend this one if you plan to put Loro in the game. And if you're not using Mantagon, Whaler 2000 or Worm Shuttle.

Which you should be.

seriously just pick one of those three

they are the best









Welcome to the Ministry of time. As you may have guessed, Kukubians go by the kuku clock, which was invented by Mono Cheezo, the first King of Kukubia. Because he had nothing better to do, Mono Cheezo declared that one kuku day should equal the time it takes a cup of Bool Juice to evaporate from a freshly opened Bool Nut shell (which equals the time it takes light to travel 18.6 billion miles.) This is in contrast to a typical Earth day, which is equal to the time it takes light to travel 16.07 billion miles.

Another unique feature of Kukubian time is that it follows the Nicolsonian Time Tables, a testament to Emperor Dred Nicolson's supreme ego. If you haven't already noticed, the kuku calendar begins with the year 0 A.B. This is because Emperor Dred decided that the most important day in history is the day he was born. The A.B. stands for AFTER the BIRTH of Supreme Commander Dred Nicolson.

On the same token, any event that occurred before Emperor Dred was born is referred to as B.B. (BEFORE the BIRTH). A quick historical overview goes as follows: Bass Nicolson (Emperor Dred's grandfather) ruled Gogg from 600 B.B. until 103 B.B., then Hork Nicolson (Bass' son) took power and ruled from 103 B.B. until 3 A.B., when he was assassinated. From 3 A.B. until 24 A.B., there was chaos in the Imperial Government. Then in 24 A.B., the military intervened and reinstated Dred Nicolson to the throne.

According to your records you are 20 kuku years old (don't worry, most Kukubians live to be well over 500). The date is 139 A.B., and your trading company has been in business 2 kuku weeks. Every time you want to trade commodities between two planets, it takes approximately one kuku week of your valuable time. On average you spend between 16 and 48 kuku hours travelling from one planet to another and 5 kuku days conducting business on the planet.

One final piece of trivia: Other systems in the Galaxy of Gogg begin their calendars with the Supreme Commander's wedding day, or the first time the Supreme Commander hunted wild space snakes, or any other day the Supreme Commander deems important. The only problem with this method is that it becomes very confusing when you are travelling from system to system. Fortunately, for this game, you will not have to leave the Kukubian solar system.