Introduction

BLANKET NWS WARNING: EVERY VIDEO IS FILLED WITH BLOOD, VIOLENCE, RAMPAGING, TITS, VIOLENCE, BRUTALITY, QUASI-GUTS, AND DID I MENTION LOTS AND LOTS OF VIOLENCE? DON'T WATCH THIS AT PLACES WHERE YOU'D GET IN TROUBLE FOR LOOKING AT STUFF LIKE PORN OR R RATED MOVIES.

I love Greek mythology.
Seriously, Greek mythology is crazy and amazing. Ask me about the time Dionysus turned an entire ship of pirates into dolphins. Ask me about the time that Perseus killed Medusa just to keep some dude from marrying his mom. Ask me about the time Poseidon had horse sex with his sister. Greek mythology is filled with all sorts of stupid, insane shit like this, and nobody cared if it contradicted each other. I'm always on the lookout to learn about new stuff about Greek mythology, to the point where I wish there was a college around me that taught it so I could take that class and only that class. I own books (as in multiple) on the subject, and have several bookmarks in my web browser to Greek mythology sites.

I love God of War.
Seriously, I love this entire series. I've beat every game in the series on the second hardest difficulty at the very least. I've learned the fighting mechanics pretty thoroughly. I know it has a bunch of QTEs and it's kind of repetitive and that it's really skewed towards having the default weapon be the best one, but I don't really care. God of War made me fall in love with action-packed hack-and-slash games such as Metal Gear Rising and Lollipop Chainsaw, and it will always have a special place in my heart. A special, violent, tit-filled place that could probably get ripped out with a few button presses.

Class is now in session.
So God of War is a game heavily steeped in Greek mythology. I've established I love both of these things. What does this mean for you? It means I'm gonna learn you some education. Every video I will try (key word try) to find a relevant subject to talk about. If I can't find something relevant, I'll just go into my deep knowledge of Greek mythology and talk about something that never really comes up in the God of War series (like Arachne, or Echo and Narcissus). This entire LP is just basically one big, multi-month long excuse to sperg out about Greek mythology. I'll also be talking about game mechanics, as this game is MUCH deeper in its fighting mechanics than any other game I've LPed.

SPOILER ALERT: ORANGE
Spoiler tagged discussion about this game is fine, but please try to reign in talks about the future games. I'm going to eventually get to those, and unlike Ratchet and Clank, I'm going to be playing these games in release order. However, discussions about Greek mythology should flow freely, even if it's something I won't touch on until God of War 3. Don't be afraid to talk about common elements like Hercules / Heracles, or really obscure elements like the Hecatonchires. Try to tell me stories I haven't heard already!

Videos

Episode 1: Hydra ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 2: Medusa ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 3: Cyclops ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 4: Minotaur ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 5: Kronos ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 6: Spartans ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 7: Cerberus ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 8: Centaurs ... Episode ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 9: Arachne ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 10: Satyrs ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 11: Harpies ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 12: Roman Gods ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 13: Greek Tragedy ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted
Episode 14: Ares ... Cut ... Polsy ... Uncut ... Polsy ... Hosted

Bonus Videos

Challenge of the Gods ... Youtube ... Polsy
Costume Quest of War ... Youtube ... Polsy
Bonus 1 - The Making of God of War ... Youtube ... Polsy
Bonus 2 - Trailer 1 ... Youtube ... Polsy
Bonus 3 - Trailer 2 ... Youtube ... Polsy
Bonus 4 - Deleted Levels ... Youtube ... Polsy
Bonus 5 - Heroic Possibilities ... Youtube ... Polsy
Bonus 6 - Visions of Ancient Greece ... Youtube ... Polsy
Bonus 7 - Monsters of Myth ... Youtube ... Polsy
Bonus 8 - The Birth of the Beast ... Youtube ... Polsy
Bonus 9 - Character Graveyard ... Youtube ... Polsy
Bonus 10 - A Secret Revealed ... Youtube ... Polsy
Bonus 11 - The Fate of the Titan ... Youtube ... Polsy

Characters

Kratos is our main man. He's very very angry and will kill you for pretty much any reason, including that you are full of delicious, life-giving orbs.


Athena is the Goddess of Wisdom. She's tasked us with doing the impossible... killing a God. Only then will Kratos be forgiven for being such an angry doofus.


Ares is a jerk. He's also a god. We also have to somehow murder him.


This gravedigger is weird and wacky and seems to know more than he lets on. What a weirdo! Stop being a weirdo.


The Oracle of Athens is an avid shirt-hater. She told us how to murder Ares, which turns out to be getting Pandora's Box.


This guy doesn't really do much of importance, but the Caretaker is cool enough that I put him here.

Posts of interest

• Skippy Granola explains Orpheus' quest to save his wife's soul.
• Sleep of Bronze slams down some education on Kratos (the god not the murderman)
• Sleep of Bronze at it again with some learning about the Spartans.
• Great Joe explains the ties a guy made between the Trojan War and Iceland, of all places.
• Dr. Buttass tells the tale of the Minotaur's origin in the most effective way.
• Sleep of Bronze yet again with the Greeks, Gods, and hubris.
• Sleep of Bronze continues to be thread MVP.
• achillesforever6 talks about Diomedes in length.
• Serperoth explains some ancient Greek annunciation.
• Some bits about Poseidon and Odysseus from thread MVP Sleep of Bronze.
• Pvt.Scott explains why hospitality is serious business back in the BCE times.
• "You Musta Pissed The Gods Off" by Sleep of Bronze.
• Night10194 talks a bit about Job from a rather interesting Bible/ Christianity derail the thread had (and I silently encouraged).
• dotchan talks about the fall of the Greek pantheon.
• Sleep of Bronze discusses why sacrifices were no biggie.
• Bobbin Threadbare goes further into it.
• Night10194 goes into how Christianity adopted things into its religion.
• The Wizard of Oz further talks about the rise of Christianity.
• Delta Green explains about more about Christianity and it's proselytizing.
• Sleep of Bronze at it for the millionth fucking time, talking about Kronos.
• Night10194 talks about how human sacrifice was a no-no.
• resurgam40 follows it up.