Part 24: Shrine of the Sea God

Now that we have our unbelievably useful "throw rope" power, we can go back through half of that dungeon to get this djinn. Waiting a month between these events seems entirely in character for every single one of my party members.



This djinn does not pose a substantial challenge. This is probably because, if anything, Fog is a liability to carry around, serving no purpose except to screw with our class setups and lock us out of psynergy until we get the obligatory Mercury Adept. In about six hours.



This month-long hiatus has done the NPCs no favors. Yes, meditation must be over, as you were once meditating but are no longer doing so, given that you stopped as did everyone else. Do I need to bust out my Golden Sun banality chart again?

Anyway, we've now achieved absolutely nothing and the storyline is still entirely aimless with not even a remote hint of what we're trying to accomplish and why we should care. Because this is a Golden Sun game, however, the obvious next course of action is to aimlessly wander into caves.



Remember those two kids whose parents noticed they hadn't come back for three days and, far more importantly, missed their snacksies? (Answer: No, because this is Golden Sun and thus entirely unmemorable). It turns out that they've spent that time attempting to discern the difference between throwing ropes and staring at them but have so far been met with little success.

Aww, no! You missed again!
Sorry, Tavi... I can't do it!
I thought I got lucky when that wave carried me up here...

Remember when that wave that didn't hit because of the mountain range ended up entering a cave on the opposite side of the mountain range, flooding the area we were exploring but then disappearing as soon as said flooding became inconvenient? I thought that was an extremely fortunate outcome to an adventure of exploring a cave.



Finally realizing the futility of staring at ropes, Riki instead tries to help his friend through the even more innovative strategy of staring at walls (also known as the Kraden school of helping). Forgive me if I don't find the plight of these children to be pulling my heartstrings.



Given the we actually have arms the ability to create a magical simulation of the experience of having arms, we can inexplicably receive absolutely no appreciation for having done so. Kids in this game, so ungrateful. Next you'll be telling me I don't even get a legendary sword out of all this.



Now we can go nab that critter we saw!
That little guy's so fast, I can't catch him!
So I guess it wouldn't matter if we worked together or not.
Hey, I'm really hungry! I haven't eaten since before I got stuck!
Yeah, same here... My stomach's growling up a storm!
Let's go home.

Realistic character interaction! That's exactly how I would interact with my friend and prioritize various ideas having just been rescued after a period of several days.



Due to a humorous typographical error on a planning document, the Camelot team inadvertently made twice as many dungeons mazes for this game as were originally proposed, ten times as many as a reasonable person would consider an upper bound that still vaguely resembles something fun. As such, this game introduces gigantic sections of dungeons that serve no other purpose other than making djinn collecting even more of a pain than before. Increasingly, you now have to chase them.



And chase them.



And chase them.



And marvel at Camelot's ability to consistently "add content" to their games without adding anything that even vaguely resembles content.



Because meaningful event flags are difficult, going back to the village suddenly results in there being less water. In other words, we accomplished nothing that couldn't have been equally accomplished by spending a sunny afternoon sitting in chairs and looking morose.



Alex... Where did you go?
To look for a ship, of course. Unfortunately, there are none to be had. I spoke to the mayor, and he suggested that we try the large town south of us.
Is that where you're going?
Yes. Madra may have boats available. That would be the most logical move.

No, I think the most logical thing move would involve your ability to fly and teleport people at will, as you did slightly earlier in this story. In fact, a boat would probably be a substantially more dangerous option due to the not-at-all-huge-but-supposed-to-look-significant effects of tidal waves and rearranged continents, especially since the combined navigational prowess of this party would barely be enough to find a shirt in a closet on a good day.



(Spell check)

[No] Ah. Felix doesn't think it's a good idea.
You seem awfully pleased about that...
I simply prefer to work alone.


Sorry, person who spent the whole first part of the game trying to meet up with us and the entirety of last game working with Saturos, Menardi, Felix, Jenna, and Kraden. I forgot you liked working alone given the grand total of zero times you've been seen working alone.

If that's the case, we'll let you be...

So... what was the point of this cutscene? Establishing that other cities might have boats? Establishing that Alex tried to meet up with us but now hates the thought of meeting up with us? Why does Kraden decide to leave Alex alone; isn't that the most backwards possible character dynamic given that Kraden might have been Alex's hostage for a few seconds somewhere 17 updates ago?

Gah! The nerve of that guy!
Yeah, I know... Now, I just want to find a boat before he does!

That jerk, expressing a clear preference and not impeding us in any way. It makes me so mad to get the freedom Felix risked his life to provide for me last installment.



Wait, what? This is a boat we're talking about, correct? As in, a rather expensive and easily damageable piece of complex equipment an average person likely couldn't control? You would randomly give away boats to shifty looking teenagers you've never met with no promise of anything in return and no request for any form of collateral at all? And the only reason you aren't is so Camelot can keep pretending this qualifies as an obstacle?

I think we can all tell why Weyard venture capitalism failed. Next time, we continue not accomplishing anything, probably in less than a month.