Half Life 2

Part 22

hello everyone thank you for joining me once again on this fine summer evening. dont worry about what the whole deal was with the end of the last update, let us speak of better times.

although if you are desperate for closure i will let you know i managed to keep almost all of my teeth

hahaha i will use the own enemy's weapon against them. poetic dont you think?

whatever poetrys for fags anyways

isnt being hopelessly pinned down behind a crate fun? look at that health station there taunting me. if i try and go out and get it i'll for sure be shot to death by that turret. why do you mock me, game??

hahaha not so tough are you now that im out of your line of fire

i can just toss a ricochet a grenade into his little hole and he'll be as good as toast. FRENCH toast that is LMAO

ah shit

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO HARD TO BOUNCE THE GRENADES???

whatever. i just hit the switch to open the stupid gate and move on.

i see two elevators. one on the tram track and another regular one over to the right. tell you what ill let YOU my faithful viewers decide which elevator i take.

hahaha fuck that im not going on the fucking tram elevator.

uhhhhhh

maybe if i like crouch in the corner and shoot it

nope. god damnit.

guess i have to take the faggy tram elevator

fuck you electricity. youre not even powering anything youre just flying around trying to kill gordon. get a job

eventually i figure out you can get by those exploding cameras if you just stand at the back of the tram

what in the fuck???

giant metal boxes are whizzing by the track. honestly how is this NOT a design flaw in the tram system???

stupid box assholes knock you off and fucking crush you

GODDAMN SOLDIERS LEAVE ME ALONE ASSHOLES

haha take that you asscunts

THE FUCK??

GOD DAMN BOXES! FAGGOT SNUCK UP ON ME

past there is a similar sequence, however the boxes push you into a laser

which when activated causes a turret to shoot your dick off. for this part you have to use superb timing to get past the boxes just quick enough. you have to utilize your reflexes to their full potential while the game pushes your skills to their limit

or alternatively you could just duck the whole ride

round the corner and BAM

rocket to the motherfuckering face. this part requires you to dodge with the agility of an olympic warrior. you have to outsmart your opponant, dodge the rockets before he fires them. it is a true battle of wits.

or you could just duck again.

like the other rocket turret operator he doesn't attack once you get past the turret. even though he clearly has a machine gun, he's holding it up. he doesnt kick you or even make an attempt to get away.

TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD

well eventually i come to this pit. i need to bring an elevator up so i can ride it down. this part i will save for another day.

its worth mentioning that if you jump down this pit, halfway through the fall a "Loading..." screen pops up and you just have to sit there an extra five seconds just so you can immediately fall and die.

so the other day i was talking to my friend about the half life series and he asked me if i ever played the prequel to the original halflife. i wasnt aware of such a game however he was kind enough to hook me up with his old copy so i will briefly show you this sometimes forgotten yet still golden game.

heres the opening cutscene. something with a dog or whatever. theres a lot of extra black space around the edges so i kind of have to hold the camera close to the monitor