Part 25

hey everyone. welcome back to the thing. i wasnt feelin so great so i took some time off yesterday. just relaxed and played some classics (pictured) to ease my mind


anyways where was i? oh right these stupid moving platform things


this wouldn't be so bad if the platforms werent so DAMN SLOW


DAMNIT. the only reason i miss is because im too impatient to wait for it to go all the way down so i end up jumping early


well eventually i make it past. its not that hard really.


this asshole thought he could sneak up on me. no one sneaks up on Gordon "The Rock" Freeman


yeah you better run bitch


hey


fuck you


theres some scientist with down's that talks to me about some crap. i honestly dont even remember. i think it was something about the next room and the military


honestly im really only killing them now because it wouldnt be fair to the ones i killed before if i just stopped. i have to be consistent.


this room is less fun than taking a shit in a urinal. because its so COLD you have to move quickly because gordon's suits power is constantly draining, and when that runs out his health starts going down. yeah thats right gordon cant take a LITTLE TINY BIT OF COLD boo fuckin hoo gordon man up. if you can't not handle the not heat don't not get out of the kitchen... or something.


complete with stupid slippery ice parts


luckily the area is pretty short


ooooh a long dark hallway. i wonder what kind of horrors are lurking behind the boxes


thats it? a couple weak as shit vortigaunts?? what a shitty hallway


you know i used to like elevators before i played halflife


Guard: "Freeman, right? I've got a message for you. Make sure you don't--augh!"




make sure i don't go "aaaaugh" then fall over and die? okay, can do.


GREAT CAESER'S GHOST what the hell just happened?


these crazy ninja bitches are attacking me. it is almost impossible to get a picture of them since they move so ridiculously fast, they can backflip like 50 feet high, and the only time they're standing still is when they're shooting at you with godlike accuracy so the screen is shaking


FUCK! GET BACK HERE YOU CUNTS!


god damnit. seriously valve, ninjas? are you serious?


well i won't bore you with the details but EVENTUALLY i manage to kill them


surface access? oh boy i love surfaces


gee oh boy this doesnt look menacing or ominous at all


I think I will go into this totally not suspicious room


all of a sudden the lights go out and you can hear some marines say "GET HIM!" and the sounds of Gordon's skull being smashed to a bloody pulp. Also you can kind of see my reflection in this picture.


gordon awakes whilst being dragged down a hallway by two marines


Marine 2: "Where are we takin this Freeman guy?"
Marine 1: "Topside for questioning."
Marine 2: "What the hell for? We got 'im. Let's kill him now."
Marine 1: "Uh... and if they find the body?"
Marine 2: "Body? What body?"


reassured, gordon passes out again


gordon wakes up standing up in some kind of giant room with a lot of shit in it


this isnt a very good jail considering theres a pile of boxes in the middle of the room leading out


that's weird, it almost seems as if the walls are closing in on me


SHIT! THEY ARE! WHAT AN AWFUL TURN OF EVENTS


i cant believe those assholes threw me in a trash compacter.


of course its actually not hard at all to break out in time once you know youre supposed to


honestly did the guys who dumped me in here not notice that big pile of boxes or what?


hey thats funny, why would they put a crowbar here if you already have one


wait a second...


THEY TOOK MY FUCKING GUNS


THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS TOOK MY FUCKING GUNS! THEY TOOK THEM ALL!!!!!


HOLY FUCKING SHIT GOD MOTHERFUCKING DAMNIT THEY FUCKING STOLE MY FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCKING GUNS!!!!! FUUUUUCK!!!!


GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!


I punch the screen repeatedly in a vain attempt to calm myself. in fact all it ends up doing is hurting my hand thus increasing my already blinding rage


oh jesus. i dont feel so good


BLAuUuuuuuuaaaauuuuuuurrrGHkgjfglskjdfgsfhdlkdg


jesus christ. i cant believe they took my guns.


okay guys, im sorry i need to stop playing. youll get your double update some other time. right now i need to just calm down.