Part 36

well here we are back at the lambda labs. or should i say the lambda SHITS ahahah no no i shouldnt


anyways this room's gimmick is that the ceiling is falling down and you have to avoid it or youll die


too bad this is IMPOSSIBLE


holy shit just got out of the way in time


fuckballs!


the only way anyone could ever possibly avoid this is to jump up on the first rock that lands and just hide in the corner until it's all over


anyways then you gotta head over to that door that was blocked off by the rocks


it leads to a hallway but its fucking impossible to get in. eventually i figure out you have to duck, but it might have been nice if the game put some fucking pointers. honestly there was nothing indicating i should duck here.


anyways that hallway leads to this room.


Gaydio: Forget about semen! We've got to evacuGAYte! Blah blah blah


i stop to play a little whack-a-mole, but instead of a hammer i use my crowbar and instead of a mole i use barney's dick


TOP SCORE


anyways i look outside and see some boxes, a security guard, and more boxes


sweet computer. i press use to see what it does


a turret activates outside which kills the guard, which is pretty fuckin funny


then it starts attacking me, which is less funny


anyways round the corner theres some alien dickhead


and his vortigaunt buttbuddy


once i kill them i turn around and get raped by ANOTHER alien


i kill him and several MORE aliens spawn down the hallway and come to invade gordon's ass


fuck! i hate aliens


well eventually using some keen tactics and some help from my friend Mr. Noah Clipp i manage to get past relatively unscathed


what in the fuck is that?


true to my scientist heritage i decide to "experiment" on it with my shotgun


shit!


Snaaaaaaaarks!


anyways im not sure what the fuck these are supposed to be


but i cant walk through them and i can shoot them so i guess their some kind of alien wall monsters


god there are so many of these stupid walls i should just tape the shoot button down


OH SHIT! no dont shoot that you asshole!


fuckdamn!


Snarky bastards!


well this looks promising


so turning the valve opens that manhole or whatever which causes the snark bubble to burst


but its okay because they all fall down the hole. careful though, these little buggers can jump pretty high


i slowly inch down the ladder and see an unaware headcrab and a turret


BAM MOTHERFUCKER. It's nigh impossible to actually get a clear shot of the beam so I just illustrated it. That's a fucking double kill right there


holy SHIT im good at this game


now your probably thinking "oh cybershell thats a real easy jump to make, why are you taking a picture of it? your gay!" WELL IM NOT FUCKING GAY and its not an easy jump you cunts


this took me about infinite tries to land correctly


fuck you barnacle.


oh christ, another sewer level. only this one actually IS a sewer level. fuck that noise, ill do this shit later