Part 41

welcome back to another trainwreck of an update


let me introduce you to the new gimmick that will appear constantly non-stop for the rest of this game


step into it and the whole screen flashes an awful shade of green


then you're somewhere else. so yeah basically this game is ripping off Portal.


y'know i really feel like i accomplished something there


around this point is when the game realizes it's ending soon so it ramps up the difficulty to "enormous pain in the ass"


ps there's this sweet glitch you can do with the crowbar. im not sure why i took a picture, it seemed cool at the time


dead scientist. ITS FUNNY. LAUGH.


if you liked those portals from earlier than you're gonna love the rest of this area because there's about ten billion of them


if you can't tell those weird half-platforms or whatever are rotating around the core and you have to time walking through the portal with when the exit is over one of those moving platforms


its worse than you could imagine


well once you land on the platform the idea here is that there are three "ports" to enter the portal from, and one of them takes you one level up where another exit portal is hovering over the path of more rotating platforms


the other two places take you to the middle of Buttfuck, Nowhere and you have to fight your way back to a portal that takes you to the VERY BEGINNING of that room again.


they add pipes that you have to duck under. they are not difficult


so one of the wrong exits leads here


are you serious? three scientists that serve no purpose, ripe for the picking? i love the look those two scientists are giving each other. they know what's coming.


this is too good


bahahahahahahaha


god that's funny. if you don't think that's still funny then get the fuck out of this thread because it's not for you.


anyways eventually i reach the top and find the right portal


which takes me here


gee, this room is gonna be a barrel of laughs


JESUS these platforms move fast!


OH DEAR


gosh darnit


well eventually i make it to this switch here and press it


which opens the door halfway. oh i see what they did there, the door HALF opens and the game is called HALF-life, i get it. wait no i dont


so yeah you gotta go all the way over to the other side to open it the rest of the way. you might be wondering why i insist on showing you the stupid boring shit like this, and my reasoning is that if the game is gonna make me do it, im gonna make you look at it


well the door is open enough and i can jump into the portal


which takes me back to this room. at first i was all freaking out but then i looked behind me and theres a door to go in


with some more fucked up hallways


and like a million headcrabs


have i mentioned how gay climbing ladders is? i dont think so.


even more destroyed halls


eventually i come accross this big door with some people behind it. a scientist sees me and walks over and opens it.


i guess these are the lambda people I've been trying to find for so long. anyways they start talking to me


Scientist: "Gordon Freeman, you've finally found us."
Guard: "So this is the guy. We thought you'd never make it."
Scientist: "This is the supply depot for our first survey team. Quite a few handsome specimens were collected from the borderworld and brought back this way. Uh... before the survey members started being collected themselves, that is. We suspect there is an immense portal over there, created by the intense concentration of a single powerful being. You will know it when you see it. I hate to say this Gordon, but you must kill it."
Guard: "Yeah, you'd better kill it."



Scientist: "Of course, you owe us nothing, Mr. Freeman. But you've come this far. You know as much about these creatures as anyone."
Guard: "Enough to know that if you don't wipe it out, there won't be much for you to come home to."
Scientist: "Yes, so if you're willing, my colleague is waiting for you at the main portal controls. He will open the gates for you, Mr. Freeman. Do hurry."
Guard: "Don't forget to gear up, and I'll cover you while you're waiting for that portal to warm up."


yeah, he's right, i should gear up.


luckily this place has a fuckton of ammo, and not just ammo for the shitty guns too, USEFUL ammo


what in the fuck is that? it looks like some kind of weird mini jetpack


holy shit! it gives me the power to long jump by crouching and jumping, which makes me go like 100 miles an hour. That rocks.


you know, these guys have been pretty useful. they've told me where to go to kill more alien scum, they've given me a ton of ammo and health, they've even given me a kickass new ability. i think im going to let these guys live.




















































just kidding. you didn't really think i'd gone soft, did you? these could be the last allies in the game i can kill!


oh you want some too, bitch?


fuck you. fuck you both. fuck every scientist and every security guard i killed, and an extra fuck you to every one that managed to get away. fuck every scientist and security guard in the world. fuck anyone whos ever worked as a scientist or security guard and fuck everyone who wants to BE a scientist or security guard. Fuck. You.


holy shit that was so awesome my heart just burst out of my chest


anyways i reach the big test chamber or whatever.


getting around is pretty quick and easy with the longjump


anyways this asshole (who's behind bulletproof glass ) tells me "All right, I can open the portal now. The process is complicated, and once it is begun I must not be interrupted or I'll have to start all over again. Don't enter the beam until I give the OK. Understood? I will begin."


anyways about halfway through the process these weird floating babies with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome start floating around and throwing fireballs at me. i dont have time to deal with these fuckheads, i have a portal to catch!


Scientist: "It's ready! You must go, now!"


i run up and jump in the portal


the screen goes all green


ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Xen