Part 21: Just some violence

Alright, thanks for the input, folks. On with the shoooooow!

Update #20: Just some violence

Our intrepid heroes are finally done with the village of needy savages.


I'm proud of you, Mr. Napalm. You didn't kill ANY of the villagers.
They're on my list. Right after "get a bath" and "go out drinking and womanizing."
I thought you did those last things already.
Urggzob steals all the booze and Clobberella doesn't count as a woman, tits or no.
Aww, man...that's just low, dude.
Who said booze?
Napalm did! He's hiding some from you!
Uwaaa, give to Urggzob!
Aieee!
Satisfaction.


Soon as we step into the forest, we're set upon by trees.



I should probably be telling you people to save the trees...
Oooh, yeah, you should. What kind of druid helps kill trees?
Only the worst druid ever. Excuse me, I need to cry a bit.
Urggzob, you were curiously quiet during that fight.
This has been covered already: Urggzob is ten lumberjacks. Urggzob does not like to have to repeat himself.


On our way out of the forest...


Oh man...
Boy, wouldn't the monks back home be proud. Saving the world from goblins by punching trees.
These woods are damp enough, shouldn't be a problem if I try a shroud of flames...



Well, that worked rather well. The fire's spreading to the other treants, but not the surrounding forest.
OH LORD, I'M COVERED IN FIRE!
...whoops.



Aieee! No more fire, no more fire!
Mr. McSuperfly, is that a burning branch stabbed through your...?
It is! OH GODS, IT IS!
Good heavens. Well, fight the good fight, lad.
Hah! Urggzob is TOO CRUSHTASTIC to catch flames!

Just then!

Cutscene-vision!

*note: cutscene-vision(©) may display party members' health inconsistently due to glitches, bugs, or acts of god(s). Thank you for your patience, and please continue to enjoy cutscene-vision(©).


Finally, out of this damn forest. Where to next?
According to my highly-tuned nature senses and this map, the cold marshes.
Marshes? Ew.
If it's any consolation, it's no ordinary marsh. According to what I hear, it's also full of spiders and trolls.
Um...that actually wasn't any consolation. At all.
Oh.



Spiders, you say? Nothing the 'ol one-two-fireball can't take care of.
Oh Heronius, you're so dreamy.



Good show, Clobberella. Way to distract all seven of them!
FUCK OFF!
Such a sweet girl.



Urggzob has crushed many bugs this day.
Technically, spider's aren't--
Urggzob crushes technicalities just as swiftly.


As you can see, we fight some more spiders. The formula stays much the same.

That is: kill everything.



Man, trolls with hair freak me out. Can't say why.
It's...it's so soft!
See, now, I find THAT much more disturbing. Pip, what the hell?
Professional curiosity.



Strangely, I have less aversion to killing barbarians than trees.
Hippie.



Clearly you have no trouble killing them either, 'Ronius.
Never said I did, old boy. And fire never gets old.
You know what else never gets old?
Crushing never gets old?
Crushing never gets old.



You're getting dangerous with that lightning bolt, Kruskrak.
I'm just glad you're actually fast enough to get out of the way.
Not in the face! Not in the face!



No, Urggzob! Don't rush right into the cloudkill spell!
Hah! Urggzob kills clouds, not runs away from them!
Why do I bother...?
Because it's rousing good fun to watch.

The chief was carrying some vendor trash.

Eh.



Oooh yay, it's a puzzle!
I...I love puzzles!
My word. Have at it then, you two.
Hey look, more barbarians. Fists don't fail me now.



I...this...this power!
Everytime you say that something terrible happens.



I don't know what you mean. Look, Pip figured out the puzzle!



Yay me!
Urggzob thinks maybe puzzles should not take nine hours to finish.
You hush.
More barbarians! Have some...of this!



OH DAMN! He just...melted!
Well, disintigrate isn't so bad. I thought you'd be blowing us all up for sure.


After resting, the game glitches again, though not fatally. Weird how that goes.



These are wyvverns? Thought they'd be bigger.
Little bugs! Urggzob CRUSHES useless little bugs!

Venturing north a screen, we come to a cave.




Gentlemen...it's been a pleasure.
Dash bad luck, this.
Yes! Urggzob has been waiting for this...