Part 6: I'll get you this time, Orc

Straight-classing, with the exception of Urggzob, unless it becomes apparent that switching classes would fit with the characters. I have very little patience for munchkin-ery in any of its various applications.

Questions answered, it's time for

Updtate #5: I'll get you this time, Orc


Our party, rested and ready to go, charges headlong into danger and, hopefully, Torak and his utterly inept clan.

Urggzob is ready to mash filthy stupid weak dumb stupid crushy orcs!
That was poetic as always, Urggzob.


There they are, all a-waiting for us. Surprisingly, Torak walks the hell away AGAIN.

I really hope that villains in the future don't realize how horribly they could abuse our unwillingness to chase them down.
What do you mean?
Well...everytime this guy so much as says "I'm leaving," We let him go. What if a bad guy says "I'm gonna go burn down an orphanage, stay here real quick?"
I'd let him. Filthy orphans.
Not cool, man.
...never mind.


Before we can get our fight on, however, a pretty lady teleports into the fracas and is generally flabbergasted by the presence of the orcs. We would later discover that her house was located no more than two hundred feet from the orc camp, which leads me to believe she's not terribly observant.

When a troll walks right up to her and takes her sword, then walks off, my thoughts are reinforced. Anyways, it's fightin' time, and she jumps right in.



Waaagh, Fire man is learning! Very good!
Yes, well. Plenty of practice as of late, and all that.
Still don't trust you.



Everybody! Everybody! I charmed an orc! Hurray!
...you what now?
Apparently I'm irresistable. I even told him he should start attacking his orc buddies and he agreed!
This is disturbing on multiple levels.


Kruskrak, meanwhile, lets fly with some magical artillery.

Wait a moment. Did you just kill someone with your magic?
I, uh...yes? I'm sorry?
There may be hope for you yet. Faint hope.
Little half-orc is STILL puny!


Foes dispatched, Heronius approaches our mystery lady.

Man...why does he always talk to the ladies?
Because he's well-groomed and doesn't always smell like patchouli?
...I like how it smells.



I'm terribly conflicted, gents.
Why's that?
Well...she gave me a bunch of oil grenades. But at the same time...
Out with it!
She's sending us on a fetch quest. A troll stole her sword.
Ouch.


We walk a short ways towards the orc camp, only to be stopped by this lady.



Sneaking, HA! Urggzob will break down the gate instead!



...Urggzob will have blood for this injustice.
How are we going to sneak in? I mean...we're not the most subtle group around...
Easy enough. Clobberella's going to drink this invisibility potion and walk on in, open the gate, and walk out.
WHAT?
We appreciate your tossing yourself bodily in the teeth of danger, Clobberella.
...this isn't over, Napalm.



AGH, WHERE did punch lady GO?
Were you even listening, man?
Of course Urggzob does not listen to fancy man!
I'm...not sure how I feel about her being invisible.
I'm still right here, assholes.


Wasting little more time, Clobberella walks in and opens the gate. Astonishingly, the orcs pay no heed to the gate opening itself.



Okay, that wasn't so--
Aggh!
Aiee!
Gah!
Hell and brimstone, woman! Don't sneak up on us like that. Now reveal yourself!
I'm starting to enjoy this, actually.


We head up to the mill to release the prisoners, thereby removing any bargaining tokens that Torak has left.

Who is counting Urggzob's kills? They must surely be in crazy numbers by now!
I've been keeping tally, actually.
That's a bit creepy, Pip.



Waaaghh! More barrels to offend Urggzob!
No, stop! You'll blow up the peasants!
He he. That would entertain Urggzob.
Uh oh. Someone help me out here.
Urggzob! Hit those barrels and we won't let you fight the orc chief!
...woman is very mean.


Disaster avoided, the peasants are saved. Rewards are minimal.


Our hour has come.

Fucking FINALLY.
Urggzob gets time for hitting, crushing, and revenging his feelings!





And there you have it. Nice mopping up, chaps.
After all that build-up, I was vaguely disappointed.
Urggzob agrees. Orc chief was no fight at all!
Hooray us! Does this mean we saved Targos again?
No, actually. These guys were less "the problem we're going after" and more "kind of in the way, oops we killed them all."
Oh. Hooray?


Some rest and celebration later, we approach a cave behind the orc camp.

Why are we going into a dank, ominous cave again?
Lady wants her bloody sword back, is why.
Is it worth--
Silence! We're doing this and I reserve exclusive right to complain about it later.



This place is disgusting.
I don't even know what half these things trying to kill us are!
It's ambulatory death jam. Stop whining.



Ew ew ew! Giant maggots!
_{NO, Heronius, of COURSE it's a good idea to traipse after a troll to get some stupid bloody sword back, it couldn't POSSIBLY go wrong...}
What was that?
NOTHING.


Orcs that...don't want to fight us? How odd.



Urggzob suspects iminent, challenging battle.
Yeah, I hear you. Everybody ready?


Urggzob wastes no time in taunting the troll into combat. Way to go, champ.

Ha ha! Now it cannot be said of Urggzob that he is a master of wit as well as crush!
I'll go right on saying that, thank you.


...and the bloody aftermath. Truth be told I was so busy swearing at the screen and mashing "Load Game" that I forgot to take any screenshots of the actual fight. This fight rocked my socks for quite a while.

But hey, everyone leveled up! In closing today I'll run you through levelling up in ID2:


From the status screen, we see we can level up. Napalm's gonna be our example today.

But of course.
Ugh.


First we have to pick which class to level up in. Since he's not Lawful, he can't take levels in Monk or Paladin.

And fie on that idea anyhow. Waste of time, being pious.
Hey!
You're not exactly a stunning example of the breed, you know.


Since we're on our fourth level, everyone gets a stat point to allocate. Napalm gets more Charisma, as it fuels both his spells and his amoeba-like ego.

I am soon to be a force irresistable.
Mr. Napalm, did you ever go to school?
What? Of course not. Dreadful wastes of time, those establishments.
Several things make more sense now.


Some spellcasters (read: NOT Mages) pick new spells when they level. Of course Napalm goes right for the fire spell.

There's nothing wrong with being enthusiastic about combustion!

Add to that skills and feats (if applicable), and you're set!

Let's see everyone else real quick:



Urggzob can crush anything with his fists!
What about that one gate?
...Urggzob tries to repress painful memories.


I'm trying as hard as I can to make Clobberella a viable party member. I haven't got much to work with.

Clobberella, can you do that thing where you float while you meditate yet?
What? What does that even mean?
You know...spiritual enlightenment, and all that.
No, I can't, and I don't think that comes with the territory anyhow.
Aww, sad!


Marty's getting a boost to his wisdom. It'd be nice if he could, you know...cast spells, being the party healer and all.

There's beauty in balance, man.
There is beauty in crushing, too, but people yell at Urggzob when he shows them.



It terrifies me to think I'm the smartest person here.
And it terrifies me to think that you might actually grow a spine some day. How about that.
*sigh*



My shooting-y singing-y spell casting-y powers are getting better all the time!
What the hell kind of bard are you? That sentence was terrible!
I like the word shooting-y.