Part 7: Let's Dam the locals
Psychotic Weasel posted:
Yeah, I don't often play hand-to-hand and Wisdom casters in games like this, so I didn't realise how important that stat was. If you want to just alter her stats (if it's even possible) to make her slightly more workable, then go ahead. While a party of misfits is fun to watch, a party full of useless misfits is neither fun to watch nor fun to play and it wasn't really my intention to cause that.
It's the sad truth in 3rd Edition rules that fortune favores the min-maxed. Jack-of-all-trades characters rarely do well in any situation, and Urggzob is hands-down my best party member right now thanks largely to the virtue of him being so heavily invested in one direction.
To that end, Monks are tricky because they have three stats they need to focus on(Dex, Wis, Str), one that's real nice to have(Con), one that's kinda nice(Int), and only one that's useless(Cha). The lesson here? Monks have no business being pretty or likeable. Clobberella, at least, is utterly unconcerned with the latter.
Anyways, I'll try and tweak her stats before the next update.
Update #6: Let's Dam the locals
Gods-Damned fetch quests.
Was it worth it? Of course it wasn't.
Hey, maybe we should see that one druid guy and tell him how fantastic we are!
Fantastic. A magic sword. Who here uses swords?
Urggzob eats swords for breakfast! Didn't think so. At least we can sell it...
We head north to the pass. Right outside the city gate, though...
Kitty! No, Marty! Aww, angry kitty. Sad.
Gentlemen, things have taken a turn for the terrible. Why's that? See that tiny house up there? That tells us one of two things: This pass is infested with children, or this pass is infested with midgets. I don't relish either of these thoughts. Urggzob will punt little people!Moving right along...
Look out everyone! A harpy! It's not polite to call Clobberella names, Kruskrak. But I-- Hey!
Bickering aside, we're taunted by a rat-man. Urggzob does the usual and gets him fightin' mad.
So, we find ourselves under attack by harpies, wererats, orcs, spiders, and werebadgers. This may very well be a long fight.
Thank goodness for this new spell - Quite the lifesaver, I dare say. Just...watch where you point that, man.
Urggzob could kill these weaklings all day long! At this rate, you just may. Feels like we've been standing here killing all afternoon. Who wants a song to help while the time away?
Gah! Bloody spider poisoned me! Well, that's so sad, dying before your time. We'll remember you fondly. Nothing a potion won't fix, old girl. DAMMIT TO HELL.
Well, that was exhilarating! Aww, Urggzob was just beginning to get started!Exhausting fight completed, we rest and then head onwards to the Dam.
...only to find it guarded by filthy savages and pigs.
Piggies! Urggzob will have bacon this day! WRRRAAGGHH! Oh no! I like bacon. And toast. In fact, you could say I'm enthusiastic about breakfast in general.
They don't last long.
Can you cook it, Mr. Napalm? Of course I can cook it, but bacon is a repulsive food. It's so...common. Well, what abou-- Jesus, what's Urggzob doing now? FILTHY SUPPORT PILLAR WILL NOT LOOK AT URGGZOB THAT WAY!
...isn't trying to break a dam a bad idea if you're on the downward side of it? I dare say breaking a dam is a poor idea no matter what your location is.
Moving on, we find more of the druids with their animal pets.
More kitties! ...which, I suppose I should not be so enthusiastic about because you'll all just kill them anyhow. Pretty much.
How will we ever cross this tiny bridge? We could jump. It isn't far. I'm not much of a jumper. Urggzob could throw you! You keep those filthy hands away from me. You guys are making this way too hard. We need lumber! But wherever will we get some? Dam is made out of wood! Now there's a collossally bad idea. Urggzob is ten lumberjacks! WHOO-AAAGHH!
Oh man, we should leave. Urggzob has acquired LUMBER! We should leave ten minutes ago, actually. Solid thinking.
Oh hell. There it goes. You destroyed a DAM, Urggzob! Ha-ha! Yes, Urggzob is mighty indeed! Well, aside from flooding the surrounding areas, the destruction of this dam will likely devestate any agricultural pursuits in the greater Shaengarne basin, thereby leading to eventual famine and mass exodus. Good points. If anyone asks, the orcs did this. Right.
We enter the next area, only to be assaulted by...a cutscene.
Oh boy. Does this mean we get to become mystically clairvoyant again? I sure hope so!
...and then the action is joined.
We never take a break, as ogres are mercilessly hammering away at the bridge foundations.
Orcs, bugbears, leopards, and druids comprise the bulk of the enemy forces, with the odd harpy or veerbeeg thrown in. In essence: We do lots of fightin'.
They've got a solid position on the bridge! No worries. I've got a little thing I've been saving for this... ...well? What's the delay? ...Urggzob, is that a dead giant snake behind you? Yes! This is an arctic climate! That makes no damn sense! NAPALM! Oh, right. Explosions.
Thank you, thank you. Applause can be held until we're done with this rabble. I would have thought throwing fireballs at a wooden bridge would be a bad idea. Pah!
An envoy of the vague and threatening Enemy tries to stop our violent ways.
She should learn: Not even the Gods could do that much.
With the commanding officer on the bridge destroyed, we move quickly to save the bridge itself.
Right good work, everyone. What say we head back to Targos to celebrate! Uh, Mr. Napalm? What is it now, man? Lots of orcs left! Over there! What he said. Damnation!
We mop up the remaining forces, easy enough.
Right good work, everyone. What say we head back to Targos to celebrate! You JUST said that. My point still stands.And so we do.
We're praised for our good work as soon as we return.
Wait a second... What's up, Marty? How do they know about what happened? We were the only ones there! Maybe they've been just assuming it went well to bolster morale.
Lord Ulbrec wastes no time at all sending us scurrying, though. Some thanks.
Everyone leveled up again, by the way, so let's close with another look at everyone's status screens:
Everyone see who killed the big nasty troll? That's right. Only because it needed to be finished off with fire. Details! To Napalm the glory, to the glorious the rewards.
...A support beam, Urggzob? Really? It was very tough! Urggzob had his hands full on that one! Whatever helps you sleep at night, chap.
I feel...so strange... Aww, what's wrong? Nothing wrong, I just...I feel like I need to go meditate and re-orient my inner being. This might take a bit.
I see drum man has fewer kills than the rest of us! Yeah, well...killing's not cool, and stuff. HA! Urggzob thinks little man is just afraid!
Same old, same old. I still think coming here was a poor choice. Aww, but if you never came here you wouldn't have met all of us! Yeah. How could I forget.
Still fantastic here! Do you ever stop being so nauseatingly cheerful? I don't think so! I have a new goal, then.