Part 11
CRISIS ON INFINITE ORLANDOS
The final area of the game is a military base. You can't return to the city, so if you missed a necessary item then you're fucked. Thanks to my brilliant strategy of "using a walkthrough," however, that will not be happening. The base has some of the stupidest puzzles I have ever seen -- not impossible to solve, just utterly retarded. But you'll see all that later; right now, we need an axe from this truck:


Jack's free, but he can't go anywhere yet. There's something in one of these two screens that we need in order to explore the base fully -- can you find it, and figure out what it's for? I bet you can't, because I sure as shit couldn't!




Now Jack is able to unlock the second warehouse!



MUSIC FOR THIS UPDATE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7Hhv-fciDE
After putting on his disguise, Jack automatically walks out the door.

The first puzzle in the military base was getting into the uniform warehouse. Puzzle number two will be getting into the uniform warehouse. However, we can now explore the base without being caught, which means no more bullshit stealth mechanics, so it's still better than the goddamn warehouse.
How does one get access to a locked storeroom? Simple: find a ladle on the ground somewhere, that's step one:

I'd like to point out that Jack's inventory screen looks different when he's wearing the uniform. It's a nice little detail.

There's a chef on the base, and the ladle is probably his. Shooting gangsters is pretty tough, but fetch quests are Jack Orlando's specialty.





The chef can't be threatened at gunpoint, since Jack left his gun in the dressing room. That's fine, though, he was helpful. After a quick visit to the uniform closet, again, Jack's got his inventory back, with the addition of some dogtags that were lying around in there. And thank god for that:

Though maybe this one is better:

For whatever reason, from now on Jack will ask every NPC about where he can find Colonel Williams. If you're wondering who that is, well, he hasn't been mentioned by anyone before. Jack just... knows who he is, through the magic of poor story plotting. But, as always, finding the criminals or evidence is not what you need to do right now. Naturally, what you really need to find is a bar.




Dog tags successfully traded for pass card. That's actually the last item we need to complete the game! Moustache soldier was very helpful to the decrepit old drunkard who he's never seen before, but army security was pretty loose between the wars, I suppose.








With the pass, we can visit the army headquarters.








There's a phone book on the shelf in this very room. Picking it up gives you Tom's number. Why is this a puzzle?







That's the warehouse we started this update on. Which, if you remember, was padlocked on the inside of the door. But whatever, she calls up the Major and sends him off to investigate. Jack is free to visit the Colonel and finally close this ridiculous case, once and for all.













Remember those papers we took off Scaletti's desk? If you didn't grab them then, the game is unwinnable. Have fun!
Since we've got them, though, the Colonel is instantly convinced.

And immediately afterwards, Tom and the Major show up!





Ho hum, attempted murder.













http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM0cBNbS1Os
And that's it.