Part 26: Gonna Fly Now

Episode 24: Gonna Fly Now

Last time, we disgraced Judge Fang and blackmailed him to resigning from his post, earning us the favor of the Lotus Assassin Inquisitors. While we could technically continue the plot now and don't need to impress the Executioners, there is absolutely no reason not to do the arena fights so that's what we'll spend our next couple of updates on. We got off to a good start when we shot an ogre with Mirabelle, and this time we shall find out what else the arena has in store for the Silver Phoenix. If you just want to see the fights, I've got you covered!

VIDEO: Arena Qualifiers & Bronze Division (every match from this update)



We were told to speak with the other fighters and learn more about them. Crimson Khana is right there, so we'll go introduce ourselves to her first.





Crimson Khana has apparently been here for some time, and she is enough of a pro to recognize we're not some random scrub who just walked in off the street. We ought to ask her what she knows about the other fighters at the arena.





I can tell you about myself, of course, and I know Hapless Han relatively well. I could also tell you something of the beasts they have here.

I'd like to hear about you, Khana.

I am from Phoenix Gate, the largest city in the Prosperous East. There I developed my own techniques of weapon combat. I have vowed to teach them to anyone who can best me.

Why have you come here, specifically?

Every city has its masters. I came here to compete against the Empire's best and I have managed to hold my own. Is there anyone else you wish to ask about?

Tell me about Hapless Han.

Han's... intriguing. While his skill is small, he shows no envy and learns from every encounter. I wonder if he stays in the qualifiers so he can face *every* new fighter.



That's an interesting way to go about it, but I suppose fighting a whole lot of opponents would help you learn quite a bit. Of course, if you're going to be a professional fighter, you'd probably want to earn some silver and I doubt losing to everyone is going to help with that too much.



What can you tell me about the beasts?

I've heard rumors, though, that the arena organizers are planning on bringing demons into the ring, somehow. I suppose we'll see in time if there's any truth to that.

Demons? Pft! Preposterous. That's enough from Crimson Khana for now, let's go have a chat with Han next.





See, I look on the bright side of things, even if my losses make people call me "hapless." Are numbers really that important? In my mind, it's trying your best that counts. You know what I'm talking about, I'm sure. Things aren‘t exactly glamorous here in the qualifying round, are they? Now, what can I do for you?

Tell me about the people who fight here.

It‘s always good to know who's competing at the higher levels. You're looking to the future. I know a little about Soldier, if you want to hear my take on him. We could also talk about Khana if you're curious about her.



Let's just start by having him tell us about himself. It might be interesting to hear how he got started as a fighter in the first place, because it clearly wasn't because he wanted a taste of championship glory.



My blades would be brittle, and even simple iron work would be clunky. Eventually, I had to leave home.

Why did you have to leave?

My father is no longer my father. More precisely, I'm no longer a son in his eyes.

Disowning your son because he's not great at smithing like you are? Well, I suppose that is one way to deal with that problem, but perhaps a bit on the overly drastic side.





l was never properly trained. I've learned what I have from watching the fights here. Practicing hard and staying focused. That's my story. One day, I'll make it here. and my father will have to be proud of me. This is my chance to be someone great, and I'm sticking to it!

Tell me about Soldier.

He's one of the most experienced fighters here, but he‘s hardly a mentor. He's boastful, insulting, and a general pain. The fans love to hate him, though. He is an exceptional fighter; years of military training will do that to you. He's currently the champion of the Silver Division, which tells you something about his skills. That's all I can think of regarding Soldier. He keeps to himself, most of the time.



Soldier brings up a fair point, but we'll have plenty of time to talk to the man himself later.



I really respect Khana. She's undefeated, did you know? Made it all the way to Bronze Division champion without a loss. I know she's from the Prosperous East, but for an easterner, she's very reserved. Easily the most disciplined of us all. She's going to teach her style to the first person who can best her in the arena. People have been really excited about that, because her sword is so deadly.

Interesting. All right then Soldier, let's hear what you've got.



So you've earned the right to talk to me. Lucky you. Iron Soldier's the name, though everyone just calls me Soldier. You may as well do the same. If I waste time talking to you, it's because I can respect that you're prepared to lose terribly in the arena.

Well, fuck you too. We'll go talk to Qui the Promoter instead, maybe he can tell us more about the arena.



Certainly, go ahead.

The first thing to know is that this arena was founded under the auspices of Sagacious Tien himself. The Emperor's blessings rest upon this place as the one true test of martial skill in the Empire. Interestingly, while we call it "the arena" commonly, its full name is "The Trials of the Seven Gladiatorial Schools of Beneficent Light."

I can see why we just call it the arena.



How does anyone keep track of that many rules?

No one knows them as well as I do, and that's likely for the better. Technically, we're supposed to lead a donkey around the fighting surface before each match. I consider that to be one of the traditions best... overlooked. Enough asses wander the streets around this building these days that I expect my predecessors' spirits will be satisfied.

Does the Emperor still play an active role in the arena?

Many emperors have graced this place with their presence from a secure private viewing room. Our current Emperor has not shown as much interest in the past decade or so. When he was younger, Emperor Sun was a regular attendant, but I'm sure the years have stolen away the time he once made for us.

Qui's dialog here ties into the loading screen blurb we got when we first entered the arena: "Emperor Sun Hai's withdrawal from the public eye leads some to wonder if he is truly still in control at all." That seems like something that should've come up in dialog earlier, but so far Silk Fox hasn't mentioned a word about her father having withdrawn from publicity (if he was sick or something, Silk Fox would certainly know and would have informed us by now). Maybe it's supposed to be common knowledge in the Empire that the Emperor hasn't been seen much in the last decade or so, but it seems like a detail the player might want to know. It might have been mentioned by Old Ming in his 20-minute-long info dump (which we ignored) back in Two Rivers, but certainly not anywhere else.



Well, it's kind of a mouthful, isn't it?



Besides the name being unwieldable by the tongue? Largely due to inaccuracy. There are far more than seven schools recognized across the Empire now. Further, the Order of Beneficent Light disbanded hundreds of years ago. They are no longer the governing body of martial education, so these are not their trials anymore. Still, we hold on to the name as a reminder of the glory days.

All right Qui, let's quit yammering and set up our next match.



I've got four boys from some school west of the city who've been bothering me for some tougher matches. I'm giving you all of them at once. It'll wow the crowd and teach them a lesson at the same time. Remember to watch your sides and back.

Four students from the Black Leopard School, then. Should be an interesting fight.



Obviously, these guys have the numbers advantage, but we've faced worse odds before so this should be a cinch.





The Dragon Sword absolutely annihilates these chumps.



Well, this one still felt like trying a bit of Storm Dragon. Good on him. Speaking of which, we can't use harmonic combos in arena fights because of the anti-murder enchantments they've got set up. Wonder how those enchantments work anyway, seems like they might be useful in all kinds of situations.



Let's just send these boys back to school. Better luck next time.



The crowd‘s starting to catch on to you, have you noticed? People like you, and now I'm going to make sure they pay attention. I'm going to have a roughly hewn statue hauled into the ring. I want you to discomtructulate it. Destroy the statue quickly enough, and I'll give you a shot at Hapless Han.



Our next challenge is an inanimate object. If you've played one of those bonus minigames in Street Fighter II, you know how this works.



What you might not realize is that the hitboxes on this thing are very particular. Once you've smashed up the front of the statue like we've just done here, you have to move to the sides because that's where the hitboxes are. If you just keep standing in one spot, you'll just waste all your time whiffing your strikes.







As long as you know which parts of the statue you should be hitting, this round is not a problem at all and you have plenty of time to smash the thing.



I think you're ready to face Hapless Han. Show me you‘re ready for the big time, and I'll make sure you don't have to dance with the children anymore.

That was quick. Not that we're complaining, though, we've spent enough time in the rookie tier and it's time for bigger challenges.



Bring it!



Okay, he got a hit in first. No problem there, it happens.





Gah! We might have slightly underestimated Han here, it's hard not to do so when everyone calls him Hapless. Of course, the only reason he's got any of these hits in is that I've been fucking up my timing, so once we get going this won't last very long at all.



It's also more interesting for the crowd when the underdog gets a couple of good shots in before getting pasted. That being said, we're done playing around.





The front flip attack doesn't come across very well in screenshot format.



Han might have thought he was in with a chance when he had such a strong start to the match, but obviously we've proven him wrong in about five seconds. Keep at it, buddy.





I bring you a message from my employer, Kai Lan the Serpent. He is impressed with how far you have come in such a short while. The Serpent wants you to know that he is watching your progress very closely. He is most interested to see how you fare in the Bronze Division. Qui, you may breathe again. That is all I had to say.

Oh, that's nice of him.



Tell me more about Kai Lan the Serpent.

He has a distinct interest in the proceedings here. He is an ex-champion, you see. He retired some time ago, even before Raging Ox, who was the champion before the Ravager. Kai Lan couldn't leave the arena alone, though. He has become a very important man here, with the help of a group called the Guild.

Oh. Of course. Gao the Greater was a high-ranking member of this Guild until his unfortunate demise, so we have a pretty decent idea what kind of a group we're dealing with here.





Kai Lan "oversees" things here in the arena, and the Guild ensures that the authorities leave us in peace.

Enough about what Lucky Cho said. Can you tell me more about the Guild?

The Guild is the organization that controls all of the betting in this place. That gives them considerable sway. It is good that they are happy with your progress. Between us, the Guild is also involved in more illicit activities. They are very sensitive about remaining an "open secret." Many know about them, but few acknowledge that fact. Right now is a particularly dangerous time, as one of the leaders of the Guild has recently been... inhumed. Kai Lan sees this as an opportunity. Do not discuss them openly. The Guild has many ears. You may ask some of the others in the arena about them, if you wish, but I would not bring it up to just anyone.

Talk to everyone about The Guild, got it. Well, not really, we're only talking to a select couple of folks.





For the sake of your career, I suggest that you limit any questions you have to your fellow fighters.

Will do, thanks.



With all the pure water pouring from the palace you'd think they might have learned how to make wine that didn't taste like goat piss.



There may have been a reason I brought Whirlwind along.



So you won't be...?

No. Leave it alone, Qui. You know better than to bring this up. Just mind your business, Promoter, and I'll mind mine.

The Black Whirlwind obviously has some history here at the arena, and we'll be finding out more about that as we progress through the fights.





I know him, yes, but I know better than to contravicate *his* wishes. If you want to talk about it. ask him. I'm staying out of it.

That may be the smartest thing Qui has said all day.



If Qui isn't going to tell us anything, maybe Whirlwind himself will.





Sadly, he's not exactly forthcoming either. The one time we want to hear all the undoubtedly horrifying details, he refuses to share them.



I don't know. Hopefully nothing, but I'm keeping my eyes open. You just carry on and know that the Black Whirlwind's got your back. Not literally, of course. I respect you too much to go grabbing anything posterior.

Forget it. Let's move to something else.

Good idea. You've got bigger things to worry about than me, anyway. Not much bigger, mind you.

I give him a lot of shit at times, but Whirlwind's not all bad. Since Whirlwind's not going to tell us what happened with him and the arena, let's go see how Hapless Han is taking his most recent defeat.





I like how he actually flails around like a moron while saying this.



You know, that's a good idea. I tend to focus on myself more than others. Perhaps I can learn some new tricks. Thanks for the encouragement.

That's all I need from you.

It's always nice of you to stop by and chat. A lot of people who move past me in the arena never look back.

Still got that positive attitude, I see. Han is not the only person we want to talk to right now, as there is someone we've ignored completely until this point.



I guess this is where we get patched up after a fight. Speaking of which, our health, chi and focus are automatically restored in between matches, so we don't need to worry about that. You can try again immediately if you lose, but since there is a reward for never losing a match at the arena you'll generally want to save between each round just in case things go south.





In any case, this is Dr. An. Yes, the only doctor at the arena is blind. That's probably something that the folks in charge might want to address at some point.





What I do know is that several of the techniques pioneered by what we call the "new schools" would have astonishing effects on one with your energy.



Allow me a formal introduction. I am Doctor An, acupuncturist. You are one of the arena‘s contestants, are you not? I hear talk that you are one of the most promising new contenders. But I should not prattle on at you. What do you need from me?

Dr. An sells some techniques that apparently involve her stabbing us with acupuncture needles, but we're a bit short on silver at the moment because the pay in the scrub division is lousy.



We'll be back later on. Right now, I think it is time to get started in the Bronze Division.







Now that you have qualified for the Bronze Division, your challenges will be more difficult, but you'll earn greater rewards. The stars themselves need to hear of Silver Phoenix if you're to make it in this division, so I've prepared a match to remember. The guards rounded up a group of sub-human... things around the Great Southern Forest. Were going to release them into the ring in groups for you.

A group of... wait. Surely he can't mean those things.



Turns out that's exactly what he meant, so we're having another meeting with our friends from the Pilgrim's Rest inn. Nice to see they found gainful employment after that whole Mother business.



This shouldn't be too big of a deal, we killed the cannibals in the forest easily and now we're much stronger. The camera could play nice, though.





As usual, the mage-type cannibal is the only one here who is even slightly threatening. He's using Tempest and causes the "Diseased" status with his attacks. I can't find any information on what that status ailment actually does (the wiki doesn't even mention it, and gamefaqs isn't of much help either), but its effect isn't very dramatic regardless.



That'll take care of them.



No, they really aren't, to be perfectly honest. Before we start our next match, let's have another chat with Crimson Khana.



Lucky Cho mentioned the Guild. I need to know your thoughts on them.

The Guild has made this a place of spiritual trials. Kai Lan the Serpent heads their activities here. It is but one part of their larger operation, but their practices disgust me.

What can you tell me about the Serpent?

He is the real power behind Qui, Lucky Cho, and all the rest. He bends the fighters to his will but I will not be his puppet. The Serpent will *never* guide my sword.

Khana obviously has some strong opinions on the Guild. I'm sure Kai Lan isn't at all pleased by that. Anyway, time for our next fight. This one is a bit different.



The arena floor will be set up with ancient magical devices. They will attempt to fry you to a crisp, much to the crowd's delight. Your job is to stay on your feet for the course of the match, while they fling deadly projectiles your way. I'd suggest dodging, but that's just me.

Noted. Let's go see how this thing works.





Well, that's kind of rude.



Welcome to the PIT OF PAIN. Our job is to stay alive for 50 seconds while fireballs and ice projectiles fly in our general direction from every which way.



Jade Empire's controls were not designed for this kind of thing. Yes, it's simple enough to dodge projectiles when you're fighting another opponent, but when there are this many of them coming in from all directions it gets a bit wonky to say the least. The fixed camera angle also doesn't help matters, and makes it very hard to estimate where you're supposed to stand.



As we saw in the intro, the grate in the center of the arena has these spikes popping up every so often. On their own they're easy to dodge, but you'll still want to be careful.



Half a minute left, so far so good. This hasn't been too painful yet. That won't last.



If you get hit by the ice projectiles, you don't lose health (at least any noticeable amount) but you freeze in place. This is the single worst thing that can happen to you in the PIT OF PAIN.



Welp, got blown up there while we were frozen, but we can heal up just fine. We're still doing okay, no panic yet.



Okay, now this is where everything starts to go wrong. The PIT OF PAIN ramps up the projectiles and they're now flying at us at an immense rate. This means that if you get frozen once and then get hit by a fireball...





...you pretty much have no chance to recover. As soon as you get up from being knocked down by the fireball, the next ice projectile freezes you and another fireball follows.



As such, we are stunlocked and can do precisely fuck all about that. Now would be the time to panic.



By some miracle, I managed to break free with two seconds left on the clock and no health whatsoever.



If I fuck up this dodge, I'm done even though the clock has run out already. Just so things don't get too easy for you, the pillars will obscure your character. You also can't get any further back than this, as there is an invisible wall between the pillars. That's kind of what screwed me over earlier, because I thought I could dodge closer to the edge of the screen and just rolled right into a projectile.

Fortunately, I did not fuck up that last dodge, and we've just barely made it through the PIT OF PAIN. This is easily my least favorite part of the whole arena sidequest, and I'm glad it's over with.



Yes, wonderful.



I'm sure you won't mind if I take a moment to pass a message to Silver Phoenix. Kai Lan the Serpent has, as promised, been watching you intently. You have impressed him so far, and he is interested to see how you fare in your next match. The Serpent foresees your victory in the next match. and he has backed his prediction with silver. He sincerely hopes that his faith in your skills was not misplaced. That is all. If you will excuse me, I have some people who need to be spoken to.

Well, apparently our less than stellar performance in the PIT OF PAIN hasn't caused The Serpent to lose faith in our skills, so that's nice at least. Maybe even he realizes what a load of bullshit that whole challenge is.



Ah, yes... your next fight. There's... been a bit of a change in plans. Not that it will affect you too much, of course. It's all part of the traditions of the arena, you see.

As long as it's less annoying than the last tradition we saw, bring it on.





I was originally thinking that you‘d done well enough to face Crimson Khana for the Bronze Division championship. Things change when the Guild is involved, though.

Very well, I'll deal with this Guild thug.

I'm certain it will be a small thing. Best to just finish it now.

Looks like Kai Lan the Serpent has decided to meddle with the fights a little bit. Of course, he's the one who actually calls the shots around here, so there's not much we can do about that right now. Better to just see what Kai Lan's got planned so we can get on with it.



Is that the opponent we're facing?



It actually turns out to be Kai Lan the Serpent himself, but surely we're not fighting him even though he's talking about returning to the ring.





Sounds fun. Let's see it.











Crimson Khana wasn't mistaken when she said there might be demons showing up in the ring soon.



Even though we're a lot stronger than we were last time we fought one of our froggy friends, this time we're doing it alone. In Heaven, the fox spirits pretty much destroyed toad demons in two seconds and we also had Whirlwind whacking away with his axes, but now it's just us and this guy.



The main problem is that our attacks don't stagger him. So, when we get close, we can get some good hits in but he'll also get us a few times and poison us. Nothing we can't handle because we have a ton of health and chi to work with, but still a bit of an annoyance. We probably could've used Mirabelle in this fight and saved ourselves some trouble, but oh well.





Since we're being aggressive in this fight, the toad demon manages to hit us with things that we'd normally avoid easily, such as his tongue and his fatty charge here. Still, it's only a matter of time until we wear him down.









No one questions your skills; that is why you were allowed to fight that beast. I'm convinced that you deserve a shot at Crimson Khana. Your victory has sealed the deal.

All right, now we're talking.



I'm sure that will be enlightening.



He didn't say, and when I asked, he gave me that glare of his. Go, speak with him now. The sooner you do, the sooner I can return you to the ring.



Since it appears we won't be getting back in the ring until we go see what Lucky Cho wants, let's do that right now.





Fortunately for you, my employer, Kai Lan the Serpent has a vested interest in your success against Khana.

Of course. What's this arrangement, then?



Sweet Poison, standing before you is Silver Phoenix, the one we discussed.





Unless someone is going to teach us the Viper style (they're not), we don't care about the toxicant arts in the slightest. By now, you can probably guess what the offer is going to be, and it's not the kind we'd be into.



Crimson Khana's rise to Bronze Division champion has been good for business, but she has become troublesome of late. She believes that the Serpent runs the arena with little concern for honor, and she's right. The problem is that she cares.







Obviously, we're going to refuse their offer, but we might as well hear the full extent of their plan.





Those 700 people we've murdered on our journey so far don't count, that was all in self defense.



When Cho approached me regarding this matter, I felt that it might be in the best interests of the greater Guild if I were involved.

If you accept, the Guild will cover half of Lyn's usual fee. The remaining cost would be roughly half of your winnings from defeating Khana.

Right. And if I refuse, I'll defeat Khana fairly and keep all my winnings.





I strongly advise you not to bring this up to anyone. I hope my point speaks for itself.



You tell 'em, Whirlwind.



In a minute Cho, I still need to talk to somebody.







Sweet Poison Lyn is surprisingly cordial with us considering the fact we just told the Guild to go fuck themselves, and she'll actually be available as a merchant from now on. She doesn't really sell anything we'd want, though, mainly just some generic gems and the Thousand Cuts martial style.



Thousand Cuts is the default starting style for fast characters, and I don't think it's very good. Sure, the strikes come out at a rapid pace to compensate for the lack of hitting power, but the range is woeful. As if that wasn't enough, the hits in the basic combo knock the opponent back, so you tend to whiff a lot of your strikes. Yeah, not a fan of Thousand Cuts at all. I picked it on my first playthrough and had a miserable time until I got better styles.



Are you ready to face Crimson Khana, the finest sword this august arena has seen in five genritations?

Erm, actually... no. We need to have an important talk with our opponent first.





You don't have to warn her about Lucky Cho's shenanigans, but it's the polite thing to do.







The Guild does not operate so overtly in the rest of the City. I wonder if the organization condones such actions. But such musings are useless. Why have you told me this?

Hm, apparently Kai Lan and Lucky Cho may not be working entirely with the blessing of the Guild here, although Sweet Poison Lyn seemed to be fine with the plan.





I have long promised that I would train anyone who defeats me. My skills with the sword are imperfect but there are things I can teach you that no other could. Should you emerge the victor of our fight, I will train you in some of my more advanced techniques. You have shown the purity of spirit to wield a weapon with the required precision.

Sounds good to me!



A warrior knows that training is more valuable than silver. Thank you again for your warning. It will be good to know that our fight will be fair.

There we go, now we're ready to start the fight for the Bronze Division championship.



I would like to tell you that this is a battle for the ages, a dramatic back and forth affair with one fighter just barely coming out on top.





Alas, that is not the case. In fact, the fight's over in 30 seconds and Crimson Khana never gets a hit in.



Are we sure we didn't accidentally poison her after all? That was way too easy after all the buildup. Oh yeah, I guess we won the Bronze Division championship as well.



I don't know if you've heard. but Khana has proclared that the first fighter who extriciates her from her championship will learn the secrets of her technique.

Come talk to me when you have a moment.

Is it just me, or is Qui's grasp of the language getting worse every time we speak to him?



Never mind that, let's demand a pay raise. As a fan-favorite rising star who, I might add, destroyed the previously undefeated Crimson Khana in 30 seconds, I expect to be compensated accordingly.





30 seconds.



This arena sucks. I'm not sure if it's even possible to convince Qui the Promoter to pay you extra, I've certainly never managed to pull that off. No use whining about it, I suppose. Instead, we'll go see how Crimson Khana is doing after that devastating loss.



I think.... Yes, it is time for me to leave again and seek other challenges.



I think I shall return to the Prosperous East and continue my studies. But first, I am sworn to teach the secrets of my style to any who can best me. Let me instruct you. Since you told me the Serpent's plan, I will teach you a more advanced technique. The key is balance and form. Your motion must be swift but precise.

[...]



We've been getting that a lot, haven't we?





Your method traps your opponents into hunting for a weakness they‘ll never find. You should speak with your master about this. For now, you are deadly enough.



Honestly, when we find Master Li, this probably will not be at the top of the list of subjects we want to talk to him about.



Sometimes the best masters dare not trust their students with the deepest mysteries. Certain lessons can only be learned if one discovers them for oneself. I hope you fare well. I turn my eyes to the east, where new challenges await me by the ocean.



Crimson Tears is, of course, Khana's dual saber style, and since we told her about Lucky Cho's plan she teaches that to us instead of the similar but weaker Eyes of the Dragon style. I've never used Crimson Tears that much because skill points are limited and it's better to invest heavily in your favorite styles than experiment with different stuff (as I may have mentioned once or twice). That said, I've tried out Crimson Tears a few times and it never really clicked with me, it doesn't have as much range as the Dragon Sword and just feels more awkward to use despite being faster. It is pretty good for beheading enemies, though.

Regardless of how I feel about Crimson Khana's weapon style, we shall wish her well in her future endeavors and get ready to tackle the Silver Division next time. Winning the Silver Division championship still means gaining the favor of the Lotus Assassin Executioners (on top of that of the Inquisitors, which we already earned last time), but the flight of the Silver Phoenix is far from over even when we reach that milestone.

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