Part 16: Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem Compound Fractures

By unanimous vote, we're going after Rinaldus Drybone!

Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem Compound Fractures



Since we've already been to Continentia, we can just teleport back with Town Gate instead of wasting a week going there by boat.



First order of business, of course, is to replenish our Town Gate spells for the return trip.



We'll also want a couple of Clone spells so that we can fill up on Druids.



Aaand we'll want to restock on Knights. I'm not going to bother buying Archers or Cavalry because both of those are likely to end up garrisoned soon anyway.

"Hey, Max, can I get a promotion while I'm here?"

"--nt. Hey, when did you come in? No, you may not have a promotion. Go capture 5 more villains."



Back to Elan's Landing we go!

"Mmm, Turn Undead."



Well, that's kind of a racist thing to say. What did they ever do to us?

"I'm pretty sure the sign means the marshlands, not the Muslims of mediaeval Spain. You're knee-deep in a peat bog, if you hadn't noticed."

Oh. Whoops.



It's time to have some fun with Clone.

"Hax pax max Xerox!"



"WHAT IS YOUR WILL, MISTRESS?"

"For starters, stop doing that zombie voice. It's creepy."

"IT SHALL BE AS YOU COMMAND, MISTRESS."

"... you know what? Just don't talk at all."



Along the way to Rinaldus' castle, there's more treasure. Eventually we're going to stop needing leadership bonuses and just take the gold, but not yet.



4000 gold worth of useful spells isn't bad. Ignatia's magic is powerful enough that it's actually cheaper to clone some of our units than to recruit them. The catch is that Clone can only be cast in combat, which is why I'm not killing wandering monsters until I need to clone something.



I think that's the largest treasure it's possible to find on this continent, but I won't complain if the game decides to prove me wrong.



Ignatia can never have too much magic. Never.



Fuck you, sign. We'll go where we please.



"Ooh, a chart! That means we can do some more sailing!"



"But first, I've got a contract to carry out. Rinaldus, I'm about to put you back in the ground where you belong!"

"Yes, mortal. Attack me. Send your soldiers to their deaths. This should be most amusing."



CHRIST ON A BIKE THAT IS A LOT OF UNDEAD

Okay, let's not panic. That is a huge army, but our own troops and Ignatia's spells should be enough to win the day. Our top-priority targets here are the Demons. Unfortunately, Demons don't count as undead, so Turn Undead doesn't work on them.



"Why is that unfortunate? It means I can fireball them instead."



While our Cavalry move up to stop the vampires from flying down into our ranged units' faces, the Druids finish the job on the demons.



Skeletons pack quite a punch when there are 500 of them. They'll be our next target. Ignatia, you know what to do.



Turn Undead is about twice as powerful as Fireball. We just took out a third of those 500 skeletons in one blast.





Our missile units whittle down the Skeletons some more. Those Druids are going to run out of lightning bolts before the battle is over, but being able to do massive damage for the first three rounds is still a huge boon.



And Ignatia steps in to finish the job.

"I was rather hoping there would be more death on your side and less on mine."



It takes one more round for our ranged units to completely wipe out the Zombies, while our Knights smash Rinaldus's Ghosts.



There's only one enemy unit left. Time to send everything we've got up against them.



"It sucks to be you, vampires!"

Ignatia, that pun was bloody awful.



"I surrender! I'll come quietly! But please, for pity's sake, stop the puns!"



Our Cavalry took a beating from being next to all those vampires and zombies, so we're going to garrison what's left of them.



Beating Rinaldus has revealed another square of grass to the south of the Sceptre.



I might buy or clone up some more Archers after all. They did fairly well in that battle, considering that there were only 38 of them.



We're insanely rich again, thanks to the 56,000 gold we earned for defeating Rinaldus. Since we've already defeated both of the villains we currently know about, we can either keep exploring Forestria looking for the rest, or go to Archipelia and see if we can find better troops to spend our cash on (and stronger villains to fight).

"I hear Archipelia is a wild and uncivilised continent. Maybe they don't even sell Fireball spells there!"