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Episode XVI: Señor X
When last we left our hero, he stood by and watched a fellow officer get mauled by zombies and accidentally gun down a rescue chopper pilot. Who, in turn, crashed into the roof of the building. Stood by as in slack jawed not doing a damn thing during the entire event. Let's see how that's going...
Raccoon City’s finest at work, folks.
It just so happens there’s a water tank on the roof just above the helicopter in. Y a know, in case of burning wreckage from helicopters. Someone at this operation had some foresight.
Unfortunately, Raccoon City is plagued by that pesky ordinance barring the welding of valves or cranks to their desired location. Anyway, I see no reason to put out that blaze. Ike was a compelling character and all, but it was his time.
A winding hallway presents itself via the roof. Why Larry didn’t duck in here, the world may never know.
Further down the hall, Leon discovers a new enemy. The crows. We’ve done this song and dance earlier. They’ve not gotten any more menacing nor intelligent. The only reason this officer got pecked to death is due to a clause in the monsters’ contracts saying there must be at least one area featuring the crows as a primary enemy and one grunt of no importance pecked to death by them.
Leon attempts to sneak by the murder.
Run away! Run away!
Leon dashes into the next hallway. I love buildings that have hallways leading to hallways, by the way. There, he encounters a fellow Claire just ran into. No neat introductions with comically bad dialogue delivery.
Since we’re in the neighborhood, I suppose we should discuss them. These fellows are Lickers. They’re the result of zombies tripping and falling in a puddle of the T-Virus or something of that nature. This somehow transforms them into skinless monsters with huge claws which can cling to ceilings, exposed brains, and four foot long tongues.
The whole exposed brain thing makes them blind. Probably none too bright, either. But, that’s another story. As such, one can sneak by a licker with enough space if they walk instead of run. Running once, firing a weapon, or such causes the lickers to go into an alert standing stance.
Doing this a second time will cause them to either run at their victim and do a slightly damaging low swipe. At mid range, they’ll bust out their namesake and whip you with it for little damage. At a decent range, they’ll let out an inhuman howl and do a leaping swipe across the room which hurts more than near any other attack in the game.
Unfortunately, fighting one with just a handgun or knife is a suicide mission. So, Leon ducks into the close by door. He finds himself on the second floor waiting room. Since one wasn’t enough.
On the couch he finds a ‘small key’. These are what Leon needs to use to open the ‘simple lock’ (which, if you remember, means ‘lockpick’) doors. Maybe there was a woman on the development team who’s boyfriend locked the keys in the car once and this is her passive-aggressive way of getting back at him. I dunno.
Also in the room is the first file Leon will come upon. Claire will find this too, but whoever finds it first gets dibs.
SECRETARY’S DIARY A
I don’t know, but if you moved something out of place by leaning on it, couldn’t you have just evaded the management complications by, I don’t know, moving it back an inch? Then again, this is someone who’s apparently keeping multiple diaries at their place of work…
Ebay and skat film director, respectively.
Why the fuck nobody on the city council didn’t go “Hey, dickhead. This is a police station, not a fucking art vault” is beyond me. I have a picture of my family on the wall in my office. Not my priceless Picasso… That’s in my laundry room.
Leon tucks the diary away, the knowledge that his first job would likely be really shitty, even without the whole viral outbreak thing, sinking into his heavy heart.
The back door of the waiting room reveals Leon is in the main hall. Second floor style. Spiffy.
I’ve got to raise my eyebrow at the architect who placed a three story tall lobby in the front of his building.
An emergency ladder is found above the balcony walkway. Which means, everyone, normally, take a grand tour of this place to reach the second floor. This can't be handicap friendly.
Lucky for Leon, a shotgun had since materialized where Claire had been stalking about moments earlier.
Hmm… Shotgun…
Hmm…
This gives me an idea…
Suck it, Vickers!
Leon picks a “Special Key” off that special fellow’s gooey remains. We’ll get to that in a bit.
Leon is now imbued with the powers, granted to him by the lord, to cleanse the land of sinners. Or wreck some Licker shit. It’s less poetic that way, though.
The way cleared of Lickers, Leon proceeds forth to discover…
Son of a bitch! I guess this is karma payback for standing there and watching a guy get mauled by zombies and another get gunned down and crash a helicopter without saying boo.
Mr. Scott Kennedy returns to the previous crow hallway and slinks through the door he earlier fled past. Which leads outside. This is one of two ways to get to the higher floors via stairs in the entire police department. Going outside or an as of yet unseen second staircase well into Claire’s route.
Whatever guild of batshit architects and urban planners designed this town need to be lined up and shot.
I knew that Planeteer’s lame power was good for something.
We find ourselves in an office space. Which just happens to have that wayward valve on a bookcase shelf. Where else would it be?
Someone at the Capcom background art department was really wanting a burger that day.
Leon decides to check what’s beyond this area.
Fuck that.
Returning to the office area, Mr. Kennedy finds a safe tossed into the corner of a side office. Hmm… Safe, huh?
Leon channels the spirit of the A Scenario.
Fabulous. (It's just some ammo and a map of the RPD. Just didn't want to leave that first memo with no payoff.) 
Leon returns to the water tank valve dealie.
Just once I’d like a Resident Evil game without any sign of an animation even resembling valve turning. Just once.
Water tanks on roofs of buildings with no bathrooms: 1
Burning helicopter wreckage: 0
Since putting a fire out on the outside of a building undoubtedly contained the blaze within, as well, Leon returns inside. Before he can, something catches his eye.
FedEx is really fast these days.
The last thing a Goomba sees before it dies.
This can’t be good…
Tune in next time for files galore, bonus costumes, and maybe an emblem or two in Episode XVII: Light Reading.
Bonus Content
The only way to travel:
Video
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