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Episode VII: Sizzlin’
.
Welcome back. When last we left our heroine, she’d just killed a dirty commie by blowing up a city block. The American Way! With that said, let’s kick it…
Maybe it wasn’t directly her fault but studies show a correlation between arbitrary puzzles and disasters. Also, picking up items and shit popping out windows. There’s years of research in that field.
Since Jill’s in the area and has a few of the key items needed, she may as well unload them before having to pack mule the lot back from Uptown Raccoon City.
“I wear a friggin’ helmet along with some protection and I get killed. This dame is dressed like a flapper and prances about and she makes it? World ain’t fair I tell ya.”
See guys, I told you this was a dick move.
Jill rushes to help. It might tug on her conscience to have two of these guys die horribly within five minutes of one another. One she can shrug off and barely mention though. She’s a real trooper.
Mikhail remembers he has an assault rifle. He doesn’t remember that zombies need to be shot in the head. Though really, who has remembered that in this series?
Mikhail rolls with a new tactic.
This could have been thought through a bit better…
But, for the sake of narrative, let’s assume it can phase through corpses and roll a good twenty yards after just a little nudge on a horizontal surface with no incline.
Since, such an assumption leads to awesome.
Jill finally catches up to Mikhail. She was temporarily caught in the same slow time warp as the explosion that killed Nicholai.
“I woke up and everyone was gone, I was surrounded by zombies, and there was a huge fire creeping toward me. You people are assholes! Wait…who are you?”
“Hey, let’s be fair. There were a lot of explosions too.”
“I thought you said in the intro it was the their own damn fault for not stopping Umbrella?”
“I’ve got shifty morality. Sue me.”
Michael Scofield should be happy to hear that.
“Here, let me help you up with your half knawed off and blood covered arm.”
The pair reenter the train car.
Hey, you’re only fat and middle aged in a situation that calls for young agile people. Don’t blow yourself up over it.
“Competently is another story…”
Mikhail Victor. The est little mercenary.
Nothing like the soothing sounds of the restless undead yearning to tear the flesh from your bones and the screams the innocent to take a load off.
So, what’s the chances of this guy surviving the hour? 3%? 5% tops?
Jill plugs the wire from the car battery charger which is 100% compatible with a half century old trolley.
Unfortunately, the machine oil turns out to not cut it. Sure, there’d be know way of knowing this without dumping the canister in the car and the thing not running. But, it seems Jill will need another component to mix it with.
Jill begrudgingly treks back into the heart of Raccoon City.
On the way, she meets this fine fellow.
It’s more than happy to greet her. These things are the “Brain Suckers”. They’re essentially a reskinned Drain Deimos with slightly more strength behind its attack and defense. It also occasionally causes a poison status, which is more annoying than dangerous.
They also occasionally spawn these adorable little baby versions of their selves that hop around and occasionally attack for about as much damage as a pin prick. Which is still more unique an enemy then their halfassed big brothers.
Anyhow, Jill slays the Brain Suckers and shoves the battery into the lift. All the latest construction zones are outfitted with car battery powered lifts, dontcha know?
There wouldn’t be so many crashes in this town if there were more than two streets for people to drive down!
Ahead lies a power station. Which will undoubtedly house a fuse that ought to work smashingly or decades old technology.
There are a pair of closed doors and a handful of consoles further into the facility.
The door on the left reads:
Low voltage control room. The lock will be released at 15V-25V.
The one on the right reads:
High voltage control room. The lock will be released at 115V-125V.
Right… So, these doors are unlocked by fucking with the city’s power grid.
“Hey, Lou I forgot my keys in the back room.”
“Larry, this is the third time this week!”
“Look, just power down the south east grid so I can grab them and get home in time for That 70’s Show.”
“But the hospital is on that grid.”
“Don’t be a baby. I’ll just be a second.”
“Tch… Fine.”
Jill investigates the console to the south.
Set the power transmitter
to manual mode.”
“The old system is prone
to short circuiting.
Be careful not to let it
exceed maximum levels.”
It would be too easy just to have a lever that slides the voltage down. Time for arbitrary puzzle #2!
Right… This is retarded. I mean, really really retarded.
The red switches will add voltage to the machine. The blue ones will subtract. Though, there’s no particular indication given as to how much is actually subtracted or added initially other than those multipliers, which aren’t particularly helpful until you feel it out yourself.
Here’s what they do:
Switch 1 –
Blue: - 5
Red: + 15
Switch 2 –
Blue: - 10
Red: + 30
Switch 3 –
Blue: - 15
Red: + 45
Switch 4 –
Blue: - 20
Red: + 60
A solution for the high voltage room is:
50
45 (Blue - 5)
75 (Red + 30)
60 (Blue - 15)
120 (Red + 60)
Do NOT go in the room yet or else the voltage will get changed an you’ll have to figure it out again and to hell with that.
A solution for the low voltage room is:
50
65 (Red + 15)
55 (Blue – 10)
40 (Blue – 15)
20 (Blue – 20)
I can’t believe I sat here and actually reasoned out this puzzle post looking up the answer on GameFAQs…
Jill slinks into the room closest to her.
Where a waiting giant fuse is at the ready on a shelf. I wish I could fix my car by just salvaging parts I found off chairs and under sofas.
Jill hears a crash and moaning coming from outside.
Oh no! Six or seven zombies! Never mind she had to mow through nine on the street just to get to this place. She’s in a real pickle now.
Another one of the lovely pointless decisions come into play. Running out the back will do…well just as it says. But, she’ll still have to come back to see whatever was in the other room. The choice is clear.
Haphazardly fucking around with dangerous equipment Jill has absolutely no experience with and hoping for the best.
Wasn’t she just almost in a massive explosion that leveled a city block? Just saying…
Don’t cross the streams!
Aww geez.
I hope whatever was in that room was worth sacrificing the undead lives of those poor souls in the most hilariously over the top fashion possible.
The answer is a resounding “Fuck Yeah!” Followed briefly by a "wait what...?"
Tune in next time for backtracking, television commercials, and melodrama in Episode VIII: Murphy’s Law.
Bonus Content
Head Pop Bonanza:
Video
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