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Episode XIX: Gorgonzola
When last we left our hero, Leon, he had walked right into an ambush he had known about well in advance. Will he survive this next exciting encounter? Let’s find out…
Leon starts off with a bit of the old Michael Jackson moves.
Bitores follows up with a funky goose step.
Leon follows up with a bit of disco gunplay.
Oh, man! Bitores with the worm!
Can Leon possibly follow this up?
Ooooh! Snap!
Bitores chokes. The game is over. The big Rasputin looking sucka just got served!
Mendez will not let this injustice stand.
Leon is on top of the jive turkey Mendez’s neck fetish and rolls to safety.
“Hey, slam me one while you’re over there!”
Leon’s action hero senses snap into play.
By kicking over volatile chemicals while trapped in an enclosed warehouse. Brilliant!
“Dude, that was for the game!”
Upholding the long tradition of snappy one-liners derived from 9th Grade Spanish courses.
Again, Leon is locked in this warehouse with no possible way out at this point.
“I was going to invite you to the game this Sunday, but now you can just forget about it!”
Do the Dew.
Unfortunately, the fire only strengthened Mendez’s super power…that being of growing his nails at an alarming rate.
“Uhh… ¿Dónde está la Biblioteca?”
“La biblioteca está situada hacia el centro de la ciudad al lado del correos.”
“Uhh…no me gusto.”
Will Leon survive this latest encounter, now compounded by his foe turned into a giant centipede man thing and the building having been set on fire? Tune in later or whenever I have the time to find out!
Edit: Tonight or sometime tomorrow. I can hold off putting it up when I finish until tomorrow, so there will be an update to hold you all over tomorrow. Otherwise, I'll put the last of Chapter 2 up tonight sometime and there will be nothing until Saturday or so.
Bonus Content
That whole choking thing finally works out for Bitores.
Video
Episode XIX – Act 2: Grilled
Continuing from when we last left off. Leon had set the warehouse he was trapped in on fire and Mendez had completed his last resort of turning into an awkward fifteen foot tall centipede man. Let’s continue…
“That hat cost me a fortune to obtain.”
“Do you have any idea of how high the shipping fees to Notspain are?”
Leon struggles to escape from Bitores’s grasp.
“Look, I’m sorry.”
“I just get really emotional about the team.”
“Come on. Big group hug! Team spirit!”
“I’m a Chicago Bears fan.”
“What was that, chum?”
“I’m a Bears fan”
“…”
“…”
“I’m glad we got that out of the way. It was really getting uncomfortable. Alright, then.”
“Where were we?”
“Legs are for Bears fans.”
“I’m a hockey man.”
Bitores’s tactics of swinging about in a chemical fire only take him so far.
His spirit broken and the horrible realization he’ll never again be able to play football set in. As well as Saddler will never let him watch his HDTV with flailing pincer arms flapping about. Mendez puts on a brief struggle.
But it is a vain effort. Also, a bit silly to watch.
“Snap into a Slim Jim!”
“Hey, my hat.”
“EAT ME!”
A had an uncle that died like this too.
RIP Chief Bitores “Big Cheese” Mendez
“I bet I can get a few bucks for this at the pawn shop.”
“Score! PS3 here I come!”
Just then, yet another deus ex machina presents itself and rescues Leon from the soon to collapse burning building.
Leon pours a Dew for his dead homie and marches forth, another victory in hand.
With Bitores slain and his eye rather disgustingly pilfered, Leon is now able to cross the ornamental retinal scanner gate from an update or so ago. Unless, the gate is programmed to Mendez’s real eye. In which case he’s screwed. Find out later tonight in the brief and not particularly exciting conclusion of this arc!
Episode XIX: Act 3 – Cake
When last we left our hero, Leon had felled the fearsome Big Cheese of the village and relieved him of his false eye; the key to escaping from the region. Though, it is possible to take it without ever having checked that door. In which case, Leon is just weird. That said, let’s finish…
Ashley comes wandering in, somehow telepathically aware Leon had beaten the boss and it was time to rejoin him.
A short musical journey to the previously blocked passage. Poor Bitores would still be alive today if he’d just camped out at the lift controls and stopped it while Leon and Ashley were half way down.
Leon uses the slimy false eye he’d just uncovered. Thankful Bitores was nice enough to set the device to his glass eye so Leon wouldn’t have to hike back and hope Mendez’s corpse isn’t too charred to dig out his other eye. Nevermind those things don’t usually work post mortem according to what video game and movie conventions have taught me.
Castlevania presents itself. Surely Dracula will let Leon and company shack-up for the night. He’s a nice guy as long as some dick with a whip isn’t wrecking up junk downstairs.
Don’t these guys have jobs?
Offscreen, a truck springs into action and speeds off.
Promptly committing no less than three counts of vehicular manslaughter.
No wonder. It’s that dick Simon from American Idol!
Can we cancel that show now?
You’ve really got to wonder how they even got that truck up here. The only ways down below are a cliffside tram and two paths completely blocked by other structures. The other direction is a castle that immediately blocks off inside. Ganado are weird.
More show-up to avenge the death of the only guy that could hook them up with going over to Saddler’s HDTV.
Leon and Ashley get the hell out of dodge. Or into somewhere even more dodgy.
They both pretend to be zombies at the top of the hill in an effort to ward them off.
The extras from Frankenstein are less than impressed.
I like how Leon hauls ass well before Ashley does. Nice escort job.
Yet another staredown seems to have no effect.
“Shut up, Freddy. There’s thirty of us here. We’ve all seen them.”
This is exactly what happened the last time the Ganado tried to sneak into Sam’s Club.
Good to see that villager with Tourettes from the beginning made it through.
Surely, this creepy lit-up medieval castle won’t hold that cult we briefly mentioned ten updates ago. That would be a ludicrous development…
Bonus Content
We’ve finished Chapter 2-3 and with it completed Chapter 2! We’ve also come to a close of the Village act of the game. 
Tune in Saturday for the continuation of our ongoing series in:
ACT 2 – THE CASTLE
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