Part 2: Episode II: The Undead
--uuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!
Alright, now that our inverted friend has vanished from this realm it's time we actually got to play this game. Limbo of the Lost uses the usual point and click adventure schlock. Left clicking moves our character, while right clicking lets us interact with the environment...or at least the small pixels that result in something.
Right clicking the mouse produces a little half second animation which summons an Ouija Board. This animation gets old very, very fast. There is also a 1 in 10 chance that while the animation will fire, the actual functionality of the menu will fail to trigger... It's worth noting that there are no quick keys to select one of the abilities. It's mousing over them on the ouiji board each and every time...
Alright, so Benny has four main abilities:
Sense: This ability lets the captain use any sense that is not sight..but usually he just sniffs shit. In a different lifetime I imagine Benny being one of those types that huffs glue in his pajamas for recreation.
Action: Self explanatory, I think. If attempting to take action on something that does nothing, Ben will look at the screen and yell at you. Every time. You are unable to do anything until he finishes. Benjamin is kind of an asshole.
Look: Another adventure game staple. It results in a dry description by our hero of whatever.
Take: collects any arbitrary items which might be useful in our quest. Cap'n Briggs also gets pissed and yells at the screen if the player tries to take something he cannot pick-up.
And since this is an adventure game, we will of course be collecting a variety of retarded shit in an endless series of mixing and matching trinkets to satisfy lazy jerks. We already have a pair of items in our inventory. Looking at them will bring up a description.
This is the magical MacGuffin our hero shanghaied in the intro movie that isn't actually on the game disc. Apparently, it was pretty important.
Benny decided it was wise to shove the worm pulled out of Arach's ear in his pocket. Since, you never know when some sudden fishing might be required and all you've got is a banana and some string.
Welp, that about covers all the gameplay conventions Limbo of the Lost offers. There is also a compass in the bottom corner. It spins wildly unless focusing on an exit of the room, in which case it'll point the direction it leads. Being that the rooms have fuck all consistent orientation while traveling, it actually is a necessary function to not get lost.
Anyhow, there is nothing of note or interest in this cell unless iron related furniture is your cup of tea, so we might as well mosey.
Outside our cell we find a lovely
He's evidently a more demonic version of the father from Don't Wake Daddy. I also found that game a bit inappropriate. He's clearly going to take a belt to his children should the player fail the game's title. Otherwise, what would be the threat?
In the next
If Grunger doesn't turn out to be someone in a grunge metal band I'll be sorely disappointed with this game's writing. Moving right along...
Several near identical hallways later...
I am guessing Nil by Mouth is a reference to the nil per os medical instructions (the one where you don't eat shit XX amount of hours before surgery.) Since, he's a skeleton and all. Har Har. The alternatives are a 1997 film by Gary Oldman or an anti-sectarian Scottish charity
Though, given this game it could honestly be any of the three.
There are a ridiculous amount of corridors with absolutely no purpose in this section. I suppose it is to make the area seem vast. But, really it is just boring as shit. I've been nice enough to cull the vast bulk of that fat.
Heading upstairs causes a faint ghost of a skeleton warrior off the set of Jason and the Argonauts to walk toward the screen.
I have no idea what the fuck either... Anyhow, there is a stone coffin which may or may not house said skeleton. But, Benny does not desecrate the dead. That would be rude. Tomb raiding not an option, we are left with the decision to head east or west. Let's give east a shot...
We come upon an imprisoned man mumbling nonsense to himself for several seconds before a cutscene kicks in. Next to him is a skeleton with fingers in its ears. I'm sure I'm going to love this.
"Cooeeey... oooooooo... I say...Hello sailor!!"
This is a perfectly rational response to a zombie chatting you up.
Our new undead 'friend' begins talking...a lot...
Indeed, that blah blah blah part it becomes unintelligible mumbling and our hero nods off on his feet. The thing is this goes on for nearly forty fucking seconds. Just imagine the Sims speech droning on at a low volume while staring at this face for half a minute and you have the full effect of the scene.
Now, I'm no game designer but I don't think a character so boring it makes the main character fall asleep being the second person introduced is a great way to retain interest in your title.
"You know, what with them lonely nights out on the high seas for months on end and the lacks of women type folk and the pants getting squishy from water and what not."
"Look, we kept that to a minimal on my ship!" "Laundry?" "What? No... We did laundry..." "Oh...err...what were you talking about?" "N-nothing..."
The pressing question about what the imprisoned prisoner is doing in a cage is interrupted by...
...our squishy pal's eye falling out. Oh, okay. I've got this one! We just need to shut the light switch off now and quickly replace the lost eye with a toy monkey eye and we're golde-
--oh wait he popped it back in. Well, I'm out of ideas.
"Ahhh! Well you see now, he put me up here didn't he! ...He said I was putting him off his food the cheeky sod!" "Who said you were putting him off his food?"
So we've got a jailor and a sailor. All we need is a tailor and we can start a band.
Benjamin Briggs is deadly serious about the spoiling of meals.
I think that series of images accurately sums up the whole of Limbo of the Lost.
You know, I miss Arach. I was too hard on that guy, given the other denizens of limbo or...hell or wherever the heck we're supposed to be.
Since this game breaks the fourth wall and talks directly to the player, is it canon if I give Benjamin the middle finger every time he talks to me?
Limbo of the Lost: A Nidorous Journey of Adventure
I honestly see no need or benefit in freeing a chattering zombie. Then I realized Ben is just looking for an excuse to get out of Dodge.
Loss of upward head movement is a serious medical ailment effecting hundreds of adventure game characters each year. Call your doctor if a NPC you know has lost the ability to detect objects above themselves. Symptoms include excessive stair climbing, the mangling of items together into crude devices to gain height, and compulsive pushing of boxes and crates for no readily apparent reason.
Captain Briggs is now filled with purpose for the first time in his life.
I am going to hazard a guess it involves item and/or key collecting.
The implications of that sentence and that grin are somewhat chilling.
Said the lifeless visage with his cold, empty, dead eyes upon me.
Bonus Content:
Movie -
A chat with the undead.