Part 3: Episode III: The Head

Alright, let's get back to this trainwreck. On the floor is a torch that should be quickly gathered for whatever torch related activities or antics may lie in the future. Why quickly?


Well, because lingering in this room for more than a few seconds results in another cutscene triggering where the chatty undead rambles on about nothing. Ben can still move during it, but it's sort of hard to pick up items with a giant poorly animated scene running in front of the object.


Who the hell is saying the quotes in the description of the items? Ben? I hate you Ben. And why the hell is text notes subtitled?!


Alright, enough of that nonsense. Returning to the previous room and heading west lands us here. Apparently, Grunger is in the area and we should be quiet. Well, my adventure game logic skills tell me we should probably go find this asshole to see what set of events we need to fulfill to get rid of the prick.


For all the buildup I am not impressed. How much do you want to bet that there's a fully rendered penis underneath that smock? It is Poser, after all...


Fun fact: Severed pirate heads are fucking terrible at properly using capitalization.



How loud were those Quagmire and Arthur I. Tis jackasses if these two prattling morons can't manage to wake up Grunger? Were they blasting the radio at 4:00 AM or something?



Downwind of a Poser troll...that's got to be a poor position in life...


I meet all decapitated heads I come across with a chipper greeting too. Just, not in front of company.



I'm wondering on a scale of 1 to completely shitfaced, how drunk the subtitle writer was for this game.



You know, that doesn't sound too terrible considering we're in some ethereal undead filled prison run by a guy made in Poser.


And yet we're still having a chat, with one party literally beneath his feet, and he doesn't so much as stir. Did these jokers start a fucking mosh pit around his throne to cause enough ruckuses to wake him up in the past?


The volume of the two's voices for the duration of the conversation fails to lower whatsoever.


"Hmmmmmmmm... Let me think...think...think...Ahhhhh, yes of course I remember now!!"

Our short new acquaintance gets kicked in the head...I think...they fail to animate anything resembling as much.


"Oww...are you ok?"
"Are you kidding, after all this time I am used to it!!"


He seems so pleased to learn that a miserable existence of getting kicked in the head at the foot of a towering mostly naked guy's throne can be something one can get used to in time.


"How to get out of here? You were going to tell me."
"And none of that nonsense that he kicked you just then and it knocked the knowledge of the exit out of your head. Don't even think about trying that!"
"Wasn't planning on it, mate."
"Oh, that's good."
"Didn't know where the exit was in the first place..."
"Oh...then what were you going to tell me about...?"
"A fetch quest."
"...bollocks."


Well, that seems simple enough. Finding a large blunt object and braining him is an option, right?




Awful wordplay often throws me into despair as well.


I don't think shenanigans like pissing in the soup is going to do much go-



...So the first major obstacle in the game involves employing date rape drugs. I see we're in for a classy adventure, folks.


"Well it's not much but at least it's a plan!"
"Well good. Now go and remember the stronger the gruel the better... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha."


Sorry Benny, turns out I found a secret back door out of the place. You're on your own.


Good luck with that whole slipping a Mickey to burly jailors plan, Cap'n.

Bonus Content:

Movie -
0
Taking heads.

Concept Art -


Grunger