Part 26: Robot - Update # 7 - The Behemoth let loose

Robot Chapter, Part 7
In Which the Crew Meets the Behemoth Up Close



Before we check in on our crew of weirdos and morons, let's go back in time a bit to demonstrate one little secret about Captain Square. Recall that Kirk's room had a computer in it as well. Unfortunately, it was also password-protected.



Since the game was so subtly hinting about it, the password is obviously Kirk's silly catchphrase, "Warp Speed," which we can't type out in its fullest because, you know, we've got that six character limit.



Whatever Kirk's hiding, he was apparently so forgetful about it that he had to leave a reminder to himself to check at the foot of his bed. The same bed that happens to be right next to the computer console he'd be using to remind himself of it. Idiot.



Whatever the case, here's the Memory Card, which can be used with the Captain Square video game to start from the last stage you were on when you inevitably died the first few times. Only trouble is that it doesn't wipe itself once you win, trapping you on Pluto every time you start up the game again.



That's what this panel is for. Whenever you want to start from the beginning of the game, just reformat the Memory Card here, and you can replay Captain Square to your heart's content.

The game developers obviously overestimated how much the people who played this game would love Captain Square, considering the amount of time they put into it. As for me, I'm already bored with it, so let's advance the plot already.



: Let me go!

Apparently, it's taking the combined strength of three men just to keep Rachel from pushing a button. However, no matter how long we stare confusedly at them, none of these characters will gain or lose ground in their struggles, so we might as well just leave.



Of course, the instant we step outside, the screen shakes, and then we hear a series of repetitive thumps that sound suspiciously like footsteps, followed by a high-pitched shriek.

While I'm sure that it's nothing, we should investigate the Behemoth's crate, seeing as it's on this floor.



Oh crap...



OH CRAP!

From here on out, the Behemoth is going to be chasing us in various parts of the ship. It's slow, but it's fairly good at cutting us off if we just try to run past it.



If you're running this game on an emulator and holding down the "speed up" key, you'll be seeing this screen a lot, as Behemoth attacks often come without warning, and most of the ship is a lot more cramped than the cargo bay.

Let's assume, however, that we actually avoided it and ran back to the airlock. The Behemoth doesn't follow us through doors, so the instant we step out of the cargo bay, we ought to be fine. For now, anyway.



Curiously, no matter who you tell about it, it's Kato who always responds. My hatred for the size of this game's text box grows immensely in this scene, as most of the important details are hidden behind it when I take screenshots.



For instance, Rachel is supposed to have knocked Kato to the side and pushed the airlock button, but you'll have to take my word for it.

Oddly enough, once the doors are open, nobody seems to be budged by the ship's sudden decompression except for Sphere itself. While that's good for everyone else, it is a little distressing for us. But then, suddenly...



Kato to the rescue!



With Rachel and Sphere successfully immobilized, the top door slowly closes on its own, in what has to be the laziest emergency safety measure ever made.

: Are you okay? Phew...Looks like nothing's broken.



: Remember what you saw in the infirmary? Come on, think rationally! It's a damn shame, but the man's dead!

It's more than a little odd that the voice of reason in this bunch is the gruff military man archetype, while the scientist archetype is the guy performing daring rescues. Meanwhile, the macho pilot of the ship, who would normally be called upon for those feats of daring-do, is the first to get killed. What kind of sci-fi story is this?



: U-um...Thank you.
: Hmph...I don't exactly want to die out here either...

Around five seconds after Darth leaves, he contacts the group again.

: It's me. Well, it's gone...I don't know where it went, but we're not safe no matter where it is. Let's regroup in the break room.



: I mean, it was so sudden...

And before you can say, "Coffee Time," we are back in the break room. This time, only Darth can resist the siren call of caffeine.

: Th-thank you, Sphere. I'd like to say that it isn't hopeless, but given the circumstances...

Boy, isn't he optimistic. Let's try Kato next.

: ...Thanks, Sphere. I'm so tired...
: I'm sorry, Sphere. I wanted you to be able to learn lots of fun things...

Just imagine it. If all this craziness hadn't occurred, we might have learned how to unclog the toilets.

: Thanks...



Hey look! It's the captain again! Remember how he was supposed to go to the airlock for Kirk's funeral? It must have slipped his mind.



: What, are you serious!? That's...quite unfortunate.
: What the hell are you saying!? This is an emergency! How long do you intend to stay holed up in that room!?

: What, are you serious!? That's...quite unfortunate...What, are you serious!? That's...quite unfortunate...

Before we're given a chance to point out how weird that is, the Behemoth's highly unmanly shriek echoes through the halls again.



: I don't want it to hurt Kirk...!

Despite insisting up and down that she isn't nuttier than trail mix, Rachel charges out of the relative safety of the break room at the first sign of danger. And right on cue, following close behind...

: Rachel!



: But they...!

Darth, noticing the pattern, manages to catch Kato before he goes barreling off towards certain death too. This sobers him up, apparently, because when we try to go out...



: It's dangerous out there!

Less than ten seconds later...

: I can't just leave them!

So we leave the room anyway, rendering that last snatch of dialogue almost completely pointless.



Actually, it does accomplish one thing: namely saving the game designers the trouble of depicting a violent Behemoth attack.

: Huey!
: I-is Rachel...?
: Don't worry. She's still alive.



: ...It...it's okay. I...I just...Even now, I...Rachel...



You know, even if Huey was very VERY annoying, it doesn't feel right to make fun of him, at least not for now. It doesn't help that this music starts playing, and doesn't stop when the scene ends either.



: We've got to do something.
: Let's get her into one of the Cold Sleep capsules. She ought to be fine in there.



: Can you go to the computer terminal? Ask the Mother Computer for the password to the Captain's Room. I know it's dangerous, but you're the only one I can ask.

And so they depart, leaving us to wander the hallways alone with Cry a Live solemnly playing in the background.



The music finally stops when we encounter the Behemoth again. I'm somewhat grateful, even if the song is fantastic, just because this chapter is depressing enough as it is.

By the way, from what I read online, the Behemoth is supposed to be a reference to the monster of the same name from Squaresoft's Final Fantasy franchise. But if that's the case, then shouldn't it be purple? Also, how did it get from the cargo bay on level 1 to the computer room on level 2?



: Very well, please stand by...Password confirmed. It is: OAKFDE.



The Behemoth is gone when we leave the room, because it's now standing in front of the Cold Sleep room. Get used to this, as the thing seems to mostly act as an obstruction for whatever room we're trying to get to.



As we pass into this wing of the ship, the doors leading forward and back slam shut, forcing us to to run past the Behemoth, who appears to have become mildly camera-shy, and duck into the Cold Sleep room.

Before you ask, yes, the game is still trying to keep the mysterious saboteur's identity a secret, even though it's not very good at it.



I'm not entirely sure what would happen to the scripting of this encounter if we entered this room from the top, but seeing as there is a way to legally enter the room from the top if you use a roundabout path, it'd probably not make a difference.



: No time to lose! Let's move!
: You don't really think that the captain is behind all this? I can't believe that!
: Well then, who else could it be? Me?
: No, it can't be...
: Either way, we'll know as soon as we get the door open.

At last, after dealing with the captain's halfhearted excuses, we're finally going to confront him face to face and reveal the saboteur's true identity!  It's the computer, you halfwits!  Join us next time for:

Part 8: Resistance is Futile!