Part 56: Mecha - Update # 2

i'm not sure what to believe anymore but i can always believe in the power of AN UPDATE


So here we are at Chibikko House, like we should've been nine levels ago.


Bruised, yes. Absolutely fuckin' huge, also yes.


that is the most pathetic rudery i have ever heard you slobbering spineless scag, you should listen to your cousin snotlout to see how this is done




"If you go to get revenge, let me know! I'll go with you!"






Chibikko House is, of course, an orphanage, so one can conjecture that this is our Watanabe bit for this chapter.


When Watanabe gets up, his seat gets stolen. Such is life.


"Will it be Misawa? Will it be Mutoh?
There's no limit on the number of rounds! Anything could happen, folks!!"




Wait seriously




"We're almost out of broadcast time, folks! Will we be able to bring you the results?
Wait... wait! There's Mutoh! He's come out from under the ring, and he has an apron in his hand!
Oh... Oh MY! There is PAINT on Mutoh's face!!"


"How can I tell? Because Aeon Geneshampoo is full of natto extract!
That's why it makes hair so full, rich, and wavy! Rinse and treatment also available!"

because i, too, put rotten soybean paste in my hair

I mean really, if you've never smelled natto, it is more repulsive than a rat carcass rotting away in a humid afternoon.


uh

Well I dunno. I know this is Aeon Genesis translations, but really. That goes beyond groan-inducing and is just painful, but it's not as though a direct lost-in-translation localization would've been any better. I can't remember what it was originally, but I'm pretty certain they just left in the original joke in the earlier translation of this game, and it barely made sense.


okay let's wash our hands at this sink


YEAH MA I DID

you know what

just for that


now everyone will get e coli

The piano plays an assortment of short songs. One of them is the Chocobo song.


We can see Watanabe's grief if we peer into his mind.


It's kind of like Psycho Mantis, except an alternate universe in which everyone secretly talks shit about him instead of fearing his psychokinesis.


Our little sister Kaori is napping at the moment.


If we read her mind, we learn that she is concerned about her pet turtle, Tarokichi.


What I really dislike about this chapter is that while its encounters are never especially difficult, it is driven entirely by obscure switches and triggers. You have to talk to specific people or examine specific objects, in order, without any indication towards who you should be talking to, or where in the sequence you currently are.






And now, Watanabe can have his seat back.


Or not.


So at this point I wasn't really sure where to go, so I headed to the Antiques Shop.

I mean, I know it's for the sake of consistency and player convenience, but a lot of these signs look really out-of-place when they change the Japanese out for these thin block fonts. Folks ain't dumb; they'll figure it out quickly enough. There is a point at which the best intentions go overboard, and this translation really jumped off the side in this chapter.

Otherwise, it's superior to its predecessor in every way, even if I don't like some of the chapter-specific fonts.


Toei is in the bathroom. He is having a case of the thundering diarrhea.




"Come back later."

I GUESS I DID IT OUT OF ORDER


So I figured, "well let's go to the Park then."




If you stand in the Taiyaki stall, you'll get customers. Each customer has a specific price that makes Matsu happy; they have two that they scoff at, and one that they'll accept, but make Matsu mad for having short-sold him.


Do it right, and he gives you a healing item based on your customer. There's an old man, a businessman, and a kid--there might be more kids than just the one I saw, but he was the only one coming to the stall.


When I figure we have enough,


I try to figure out where the hell I'm supposed to go.

(Not here)


(Really not here)


This bar, which is very nondescript on the town overworld, is full of patrons obsessed with a Mantango. They are apparently a very magic sort of mushroom, and are named after the mushroom people from Secret of Mana.


You're supposed to talk to Watanabe after he gets knocked out of the way, but you have to leave the screen first or he'll just call Yuki a meanie.

Now you talk to Kaori and read her mind.



"Tarokichi's spirit... will live on..."




And then we get to visit our bathroom buddy.




Lovely.




"Well..."
"What!?
Leave it to me!
I've studied at the facility, AND I have wisdom handed down from the ancients!
Time to grant new life to Taro, or whatever it's called.
We'll go to Chibikko House using my home-made transporter!"




well jeez you shoulda said that earlier, don't yell at me over that, asshole






hiccup the useful

NEXT TIME

the internet lives for videos of this kind of thing