Part 57: Mecha - Update # 3

"My transporter wasn't working all that well, so I had to hoof it."

Well, at least he's not a dick about it. I mean he's poopsock-ey as hell, but I guess that doesn't mean that he's a bad guy, just that he'd be a bad roommate.


"Then we can bring him back to life as a fluid android!"


"Don't sweat the details, Hiccup. Just do as I say."


"... what is it for"
"This camcorder, of course"






that is what you call "bachi," it is an adaptation of the japanese proverb about divine retribution, in hawaiian creole english it basically means "this is what you get for being a dick"




"Science is spectacular!"


If we read Taro's mind,


he joins us. He is Level 5, but he has tons of HP. His Max HP can also be increased by "installing" parts into him. But more on him later.






And then he dashes out.

Sometimes, SNES dialogue could be really poorly-implemented. I mean, part of the reason LaL didn't come overseas is that it's just so "aaaaaargh Japan," but I'm sure another part of it is that, like the Romancing SaGa games, while it's a great game in its own right, was really too experimental and honestly kinda... well, they obviously put in a lot of effort, so we can't call it slap-dash, but maybe unpolished is the right word. It shows best (or perhaps worst) in its message boxes, in which it's often very difficult to tell who is speaking.

Not to mention that it came out in '94 when FF4 had better general spritework in '92 and Chrono Trigger and FF6 would have comparatively amazing spritework a year later.




Oh, to be young and indignant again.

(it's more acceptable than being adult-aged and indignant)




If we give him I think it's a Taiyaki, he'll give us a Glove.


Now let's go hang out at Taro's.


There's now another flight of stairs in the transporter room. If you go down them, you come to about a dozen replicas of this room in a row. I dunno, I didn't count 'em out.




through clever screenshoting, you haven't seen what toei is talking about yet




"These days, only liquefied humans have power like that...
You know, people who've been melted down into goop to enhance their spiritual energy!"

Man I'm not too sure about this, last time I checked, people tended to just be dead when you put them in a blender

"In any case! There seem to be only two ways for Buriki Daioh to move.
It either needs to be manipulated with psychic powers, or injected with a liquefied human."


well we conveniently happen to have some of those




And now he gives us a ridiculous series of tasks.


First you touch the pink elephant,


then you read the book,


then you play the xylophone,


then you run down the stairs,

and go to the room with Buriki Daioh and wonder why you didn't get an interaction prompt,


and wash your hands, then go to the bathroom and you're like

what the fuck did I do wrong?


Well, I forgot to touch the blue mask before talking to Buriki Daioh. This whole sequence is a gigantic pain in the ass.


And it culminates in Toei watching you take a crap while he cues up the Buriki Daioh theme song.








And you try each lever. They'll turn out the lights, or electrocute you, or make a fart sound, or explode, or drop a pot on your head, but nothing works.


This is basically what you feel like after having trudged through Toei's, uh, security system.


OH WELL


Toei will now take some of your items and either improve them or downgrade them, or not do anything with them at all.






I just don't know. I didn't bother reading a walkthrough, but I turned the Boots into Biker Boots, and I think I upgraded the jacket, then I didn't bother doing anything else with this upgrade thing again.

I dunno, folks might be cross with me for not showing that off? Oh well.

•••






I think Watanabe likes Banana Crepes. He'll give you a Cap, which is better than what you can have found to equip thus far.


Of course, Yuki wants a Misawa Taiyaki. She gives you a Power Wrist, which isn't a bad secondary equipment. I'm sure you can upgrade it, but like I said, I didn't bother.

The last orphan gives you a Misanga, which is also good equipment.




Okay, Watanabe, what did you want to talk




oh dammit

You can repeat this process a number of times. You'll get Taeko's Jeans, then a pair of Taeko's Stockings.




Then you get caught.





Finally,

your patience pays off.





It's good equipment.


Well, good when equipped to the body. This is just to show that you can also equip them on your head. Good times.

Now, I didn't bother at this point because there's only an incredibly small chance of it happening, but if you get into encounters and use Teleport to escape, you might appear in the bathroom while Taeko is in the tub. She runs out and you don't get anything for it unless you're into 16-bit not-porn.

Anyway, returning to Chibikko House and interacting with its residents after having tried to activate Buriki Daioh will advance the plot.

I'm not sure if you need to give everyone snacks or if you just have to talk to someone.


At any rate, Kazu, who was playing outside, is suddenly kidnapped by some Crusaders.




Kenichi's a wuss, let a real man handle this.




Holy Blow takes forever to charge and I didn't even get a decent screenshot of it, but such is life.




And they bolt on their bikes.

NEXT TIME

squaresoft: corrupting our youth before we even knew what a gta was