Part 13

So anyway here's the second half of that update that I didn't finish last night. And as for trip news (like you care) I went to the International Spy Museum in Washington, DC and it was amazing. Anyway.


More like the quasi-evil Idura but you know

Very well! I shall go there and defeat him myself! Josef, prepare!

Yes, your highness.


Well at least Dekar has some sense. Just enough.

I appreciate that. But he is no ordinary villain! You wouldn't make it. I must do this.

You. . . Your Highness!

Don't worry! He's nothing before me! You just wait here for the good news. Josef, be ready!

Yes, your highness.


At least the King isn't retarded, right?

I hate to call on you time and time again, but would you follow the prince, Dekar?

Of course, your majesty. I must say, though, we can't keep doing this forever.

I'm aware of this. But it's like a disease, you see. I'm sorry, but please be patient with Alex.

Of course, your Highness. I'm off to the Labyrinth.

By the way Dekar, I wonder if you could follow him. . . uh. . . you know, secretly.

I understand, your Majesty.

Yeah so, I guess I'll follow too. I mean, what kind of idiot parents let their kid end up like this prince?


Wow you're an awful mother.



That wouldn't have been a problem, if he had turned out to be a truly strong prince.

So you lied to him and told him he's strong, even though he wasn't, even though he runs off into dangerous places with strong monsters? You're the worst asshole parent ever.


Here's the labyrinth some kid mentioned that a castle sunk here or something. Anyway.






These things are gay, nothing special about them.

So the first room has three paths, I took the rightmost one.


Downstairs, secret passages!


It raises some stats, raises the power of thunder spells, good times.


Yeah so, buttons under bushes, this isn't very exciting yet.


For some reason you can push that pillar. No idea why.


Okay so this bridge is missing, clearly I need to hit that switch. Well, I'll come back. However, in the previous room


You have to hit this switch from over here to lower the spikes on the other side.


Back in the enterance, I went in the middle of the three paths (the left two are stairs and the right one is a door) So now I can hit this switch.


Yay for switches. Also, the door on this side leads to


Doesn't sound like a fun sword. . .


Not only is it weak, it's also cursed so I wouldn't be able to unequip it until I leave. Of course, cursed weapons are much different than in Lufia I, but we'll get to that later. . .


This is what was across that bridge. Nothing I can equip, but it might prove useful for a certain character I'll be getting soon, who uses Axes. . .


when you deal with the dead, AIM FOR THE HEAD!


Oh hmm this room is simple I'll just go down those stairs and


Okay so the stairs move when you step on them. This can be fixed by trapping them


here. And then walk on them from above and you can go down.


These are really boring, jeez. Push the pillar, swing to it with the hook from below, pot on switch


You get it it's stupid.


I'll bet you'd never have guesed it, but sometimes these guys drop deadly swords.


and the other guy is Green Clay. SERIOUSLY WHO THE FUCK TRANSLATED THIS SHIT?! THIS IS THE WORST THING UNTIL METAL SHARK PLAYER


This is a cool puzzle, it's unique in that the hardest place to get to is the place you have to go. Usually the normal puzzle is easy but getting a special item is hard. Anyway, the lower right takes us to


some pillars which lead to


POKEYMANZ?!


Oh right capsule monster. I don't see how this thing turns into a fairy and angel and shit, but whatever


I'll change it once it class changes but this is fine for now, and appropriate I think.


Looks like high INT and GUTS. Not bad. I mean, could be worse. Also this is just it's basic class, it'll get incredibly strong as it changes class. I used it for about two battles before realizing most of my damage was coming from Foomy, so I put him back in. Flash doesn't get good until later, but even then you guys are jerks and probably won't let me use him.


In the upper right room, there's this *yawn* puzzle yeah yeah push pillars


It lowers down and raises the platform, I mean I guess that one is kinda tricky if you uh, don't realize that it isn't.


Man they lumped a bunch of these in one part of the game, damn. 4/8


Getting this up here is a lot trickier than it looks.


A puzzle that could be hard. But I'm good at these. It only takes seven bombs.


These two paint it black.

Then you put one in the upper left, middle, lower right


Then finally these two finish it off.


No FAQ, I'm just that awesome


Selan needs the HP. Not Tia.


Oh noesz a save but no healings. Not like I care.


There was also a button in front of the door I came in here through, if I have to go back for some reason I'd have to push this pillar onto that button to leave.


Here's the prince we'll just take him out of here and


Haha you thought it would be that easy, idiot.


oh no

What?

I blocked the spell escape! You can't run! Well, let's begin!

I guess I'll fight him now?


Nope the faggot sends weak monsters after me.


Funny story:

Mummys are wrapped in bandages. Bandages are made of cloth or paper, which are both flammable. Also, dead bodies are pretty flammable. So you know I did the only thing I could think to do.


Have Selan summon a fireball from the sky to burn them to death.


More shitty monsters.


Fight me yourself you douche!


I'll bet they think my thread sucks

Well anyway I wrecked their shit because they're weaklings and this fucktard should've just fought me himself!


Man why don't we just kill him?

Oh Maxim, what are we going to do? There's no end to this battle!

Darn it!

Haha, haha, haha, haha!


HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!

Huh?


Man he forgets shit quickly.

Did you think up that childish trick? You certainly are a wimp!

Enough! I will not take your insults any longer! Take this!



These guys? Not again!


Of course he effortlessly tosses them aside.

Why don't you stop sending all those stupid monsters and come yourself, huh?

Hmm, destroying you now would be boring. I will return to send you to your doom!

He runs off, Dekar steps on that arrow which makes a bridge.

Hey, Maxim. You're already here! I entered the Labyrinth first, so you must have passed me.

Thanks.

No problem, it wasn't even a fight! Oh, I almost forgot. . .



I'm just fine. My apologies, Dekar. Because of me you had to go through all this trouble.

Please. It is you who entered the Labyrinth for your country and people. Not everyone can do that.

But, there was nothing I could do.

With practice, you'll be a good swordsman. And do not forget the good you will foster by trying.

Dekar, would you teach me swordsmanship?

Of course, your Highness. Shall we return to the castle?



He'll be back.

You're right. I'll take care of him then. By the way, I need to talk at the castle later.

Sure.

*Dekar leaves*

Maybe he's not as dumb as we thought.

Yeah, maybe not.


Did he forget something?

What happened?

Do you. . . happen to remember how to open the door in the next room?

Push the pillar on top of the switch.

Oh, that's right. I know I opened it a while ago, but I forgot. Well, thanks!

*he leaves again*

I think we were right about him the first time around.

He's certainly a little forgetful.

But he cares about Prince Alex.

Yeah, otherwise the prince wouldn't trust him so much.

That's really impressive.

So are you, Selan. Many soldiers in Parcelyte think the world of you.

Why, thank you. But that's the warrior in me. The other part. . . Well nevermind, let's go back to Bound Kingdom!

Hmm, a little subtle hint there?

And oh hey by the way


It's cool to be Famous.

What is it?

Gades came while you were in the Labyrinth!

What?!

Gades spoke only with the king, and then left. The King has been waiting to see you.

I'd better fucking hurry then!

And boy did I! I ran so fast Tia dropped all her equipment!


Silly Tia!


I'll bet he's freaked out. I would be, too, if I had just had a private talk with an evil super being.

Your Majesty, may I ask what you talked about with Gades?

Yes, but it wasn't really a conversation. It was a one-way warning. A fearful time begins, he said. . . He said he would start by sinking Seim Island.

What?! He said he would sink Seim Island where Parcelyte is?!

He also said he would destroy Bound Kingdom.

Oh no! And what did he ask of Your Majesty?

That's the thing. He asked for nothing in return. In other words, this isn't a threat: This is a warning.

I don't get it, he wants to destroy for no reason?

So that's the whole story. You're coming with me, aren't you, Maxim!

Yes but. . .

But what?

I'm not bringing Tia and Selan.

What?! Parcelyte is in danger! I must fight beside you!

No. Not this time.


Fighting Sinistals: Serious Business.

So what? Danger? Fine!! Isn't that why I'm travelling with you in the first place?

Yes but there are some things only you can do, that don't involve fighting.

Like what?!

You need to go to Parcelyte to be with your people, and warn them of the coming attack. Then evacuate them as quickly as you possibly can. People won't believe this is happening unless YOU tell them.

. . . oh yeah that makes a lot of sense actually.

And Tia, you understand too, right? Besides, this will give you time to get to know Selan a little better.

!

Haha just kidding I don't think Selan is into girls.

I AM NOT LEAVING YOUR SIDE MAXIM!

Dude you're weak as fuck, go help Selan out.

Oh yeah, shit. Well promise you'll retrurn in one piece!

Duh.


Hmm I just got an overhwelming feeling of nostalgia from that voice



Hey Maxim, it's been too long!

How convenient of you to show up! How's your sis?

Actually the king wrote me. And Hilda is fine.

Oh snap



This is Guy. We used to travel together, but his sister got sick so he returned home.


. . .


Swordsmen are telepathically linked.


They're supposed to be having a duel, but it came out looking rather. . . gay. But I refuse to make jokes about Dekar. However, just imagine there are homosexual undertones when you read the next bit of dialogue, it makes it funnier.

Pretty good! I'm Dekar. It's nice to meet someone who can hold their own!

I'm Guy. That was close, you know. If you hadn't gone easy on me, I could've been hurt!

Haha, you could tell that much! Welcome to the Party, Guy!

It's a pants party. A party in my pants.




Well anyway they quibble a bit longer, Tia warns Selan she hasn't given up Maxim yet. . .


Yeah, awesome. And then something wonderful and magical happens!


This is kind of a Sausage party. Hey so since Guy and Dekar are the strongest characters in the game, and can't use magic, Maxim is my healer for this portion and I actually put Maxim in the back row. How silly is that?!


I'd like to point out that Dekar has a higher STR stat than both Maxim and Guy, and he's 10 levels lower. Think about that.


I equipped him with a mighty axe used by Thor himself, and then upgraded his and Guy's equipment. They are fierce, damage dealing and head slicing fiends.


I also fed Flash some delicious Bronze Swords yummy!


I also changed her name, I couldn't think of anything funny.


Remember when I said cursed stuff is different? Well, this sword may suck now. . .


But after paying a priest a lot of money to uncurse it. . .


The stats of the item actually change! This is pretty neat! It becomes a really fucking sweet sword, and even gets the IP Bomb Attack! Although I guess the downside is Capsule Monsters sometimes request a deadly sword, but they don't want no uncursed sword! The curse gives it flavor!

There are some items (Dark Mirror, the best shield, for example) which are actually worse when uncursed. And, in the case of Dark Mirror, which you find in the Ancient Cave, if you uncurse it you can't bring it into the cave with you anymore! I give it to Artea and just leave it on him forever.

So that's it for this section, I get to go ahead and chase down Gades with the two strongest characters, and hoopefully slice him into little bits.

I'd also like to note that I keep forgetting this funny thing, see my sister was in the play Angels in America (the second part, for you theatre nerds who don't read this thread) and played the Angel, but anyway the point is the main character is gay and has AIDS, and we started jokingly calling gay AIDS Gaydes. And now every time I see Gades I think gay AIDS and I can't help but smile.

And yeah. So quick Foomy Blaze or Flash next update?