Part 3
Nah, it's because, as it turns out, she weighs the same as a duck.shadysight posted:
Oh right. It's that Iris melts in water, right?
This update is titled: Holy shit Pokémon totally ripped us off.
Hey remember when I said Maxmim doesn't learn attack magic?
I lied, he can learn SOME attack magic, but not much, and he isn't too good at it. But it can be helpful at times.
So anyway, Sundeltan is having a problem, a problems regarding Earthquakes. No one knows for sure why they are having earthquakes, but one man has a theory.
Yeah, a catfish causing earthquakes. Waitaminute.
??We'll investigate later, let's shop first.
THANKS FOR THIS.
You can guy Green Tea, which essentially does nothing and is a waste of money.
Well normally I'd help, but I'm kind of in a hurry.
Outside. . .
We're already moving up in the world! SPRITE RECOLORINGS!
Hopefully this shrine can take me to the next town.
Damn, looks like I have to kill that catfish, or whoever is causing the earfquakes. DAMN!
fuckinf BUGS!
Who carry cutting boards for some reason. And yes, it's a shield. A shitty one, but if this were the Ancient Cave it would be pretty awesome.
After buying a brand new cap, and the spell poison, I'm ready to deal with a catfish infestation problem.
Here's the cave, if you've forgotten.
And we're instantly presented with a puzzle! Actually it's really simple: First I hit this switch. . .
Which raises up the water, then I just place the tiles in the water, like so
Instant bridge!
The next room splits into two paths! I'm going right first.
Oh shit, I'm killin this beetle, just call me. . . cancer. Hey there sure are a lot of insect enemies, mosquitos and beetles and spiders (which count in this game) hmm
This is a puzzle, sort of. I have to shoot, with arrows, the enemies in the order I defeated them, to open a door in this room. The non-locked door leads to:
Our favorite healing panals! The other door leads to:
A weapon that not only does major damage to insects and spiders. . .
It has an IP attack! Bomb attack lets me do a normal power attack to all enemies, which is really useful. Also, it's slightly weaker but raises but GUTS, and also, you know, since 90% of the enemies here are bugs, is really useful.
DIE INSECTS, YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD!
Oh boy, I have no idea what this criptic message means, but. . .
oh boy cracked floors, I'm gunna fall down one of them!
Falling down, I land on a switch, which opens that door! HOW USEFUL! I'm not going in it yet, though. Hey an eagle!
These things are pretty strong, and drop Eagle Rocks, which let you use the IP attack Dive, which is an attack at DOUBLE YOUR ATTACK POWER. I WANT ONE. Maybe I'll endlessly kill Eagles until I get one. Actually, this is useful for the boss fight for a strange reason I'll explain later.
The left door there leads to a save point, yay.
Let's test out our IP skill:
Okay, selecting it from the IP menu. . .
It took some of my IP bar, but I attacked both Eagles! YAY!
I wonder who leaves all these around? Iris maybe?
This room has three buttons. Press down the top two, it opens the top door, press the left two, it opens the bottom door. I want to go into the top door first.
Engrish. Let's check out what's behind the door!
A long series of fights. Being amazingly powerful, like I am, I massacred all the eagles, spiders, beetles, and mushrooms. At the end of the hall is
First RING! Note that you can equip two accessories in this game, a ring AND a rock. Anyway, this ring is super useful:
It also has the IP skill of the spell Fake, which raises agility. Which is actually helpful in this game!
Hey wait there's another chest, I wonder how I get to it? Maybe if I. . .
WALK THROUGH THE WALL!?!?
OH LAWD IT IS A MIRACLE!
Okay I need to push these blocks so it's a triangle pointing up, hmm. . .
I HOPE YOU CAN SEE THIS BECAUSE I AM DOING IT AS HARD AS I CAN!
There we go.
BLUE CHEST! That means this is a VERY important item. In the ancient cave, a blue chest is an item you can bring out with you, and back in, more on that when I actually get there.
The key item jingle is pretty awesome in this game.
Now we go WAY back to that door I opened by jumping on that switch.
However, before going in, I spent a while killing the Eagle outside the door until it dropped an Eagle Rock.
As you can see by my gold total, it took a while. I ended up on level 10 (I was on 7 when I entered)
However, not only does equipping this raise my stats in an awesome way, I can use dive now! This should make the boss battle a piece of cake! Okay through that door:
It might look like I'm building a bridge to nowhere, but when I hit this switch. . .
I need that tile to get across, and I can't carry it down a ladder with me.
A locked door, which is why I didn't come through here before. I used the Lake key to open it.
With a mighty quake, a whiscash comes up from under the water. That old guy was right! He totally looks
just like whiscash, hmm. . . and he causes earthquakes, which Whiscash do too. . . hmm. . . but then whiscash is a gen3 pokemon, which means it came out in '03, 8 years after this game. . . hmm. . . 
No use fighting. Go home before you get hurt! Look at your flab! If you took off your shirt, would it cause a flabbalanche? 
Are you the one responsible for the Earthquakes? Sorry the huge one that just happened as you appeared didn't clue me in. I was bored, I started making earfquakes so people would come visit me, I'm lonely and also a giant fish. Well it's pissing everyone off, and also I can't continue with the story unless you stop. Look I'll only stop if you can beat me in battle! YEARGH!
Oh shit, look at him. He's big! He's also pretty weak, he has like 200 hp, and can cause quakes.
Using my IP skill, I can cause nearly 80 damage. Holy fuck.
I'm so strong that his quake is nothing. I kill him in three turns (or was it four?) which nets me:
the Catfish Jewel! If you kill him in 4 or less rounds, he drops this. It's rare, valuable, and can be brought into the Ancient Cave! It raises MGR and GUTS by about 20 and let's me unleash megaquake on my opponent.
You best do that, lest I lay the smackdown on yee again posthaste!
(where the hell did that come from?)
Back in town
I did.
Oh well you must've missed eachother. Missed who? A young lady came looking for you. I told her you were at the cave. She was quite a looker! What was her name? I figured she was your girlfriend and I didn't want to be too forthcoming. BLAST!Back in the cave. . .
Oh man a damsel in distress, I hope she's hawt.
AW TIA DAMN IT YOU'RE GETTING GANG RAPED BY A GOBLIN AND A SKELETON WHAT THE FUCK
And of course I have to kill them. The recommended level for this part is 8. I have too much *clap calp* time on my hands, it's digging away at my sanity. Two hits later
You're awfully calm about this!
Tia?! What the fuck man!
I. . . felt like you were going far away. And. . . I just. . . couldn't help myself. . . . Silly me, right Maxim? You're not going anywhere, right? Right? Guys? . . . Well shit. Yeah. . . you remember that ball of Red Light the other night? Uh-huh. That light has an evil power, it could lead to world destruction. That's what I was told. Pfft yeah right like I believe that! Come on now, monsters have been increasing and started attack humans! But why you, Maxim? I was also told I have the power to shatter the ball of light. Shatter it? What is it a light bulb or something? I mean, you are strong. . . I just want to know the truth, Tia. I was born knowing swordsmanship. Why? What is it for? So you're not going to change your mind, are you? No, I won't be able to see you for a while, sorry. The hell you won't! I'm coming with you! Yeah right! Hey, I own a weapon's shop! I can fight!
Pfft I know that!
Oh shit that one is back from the bathroom and already has his pants off!
One stabbity later
Thank you Maxim, I. . . I just. . . Look, you can come with me. Just don't be so rash!
Yay, first partner
She has low HP and defense and strength, but her INT goes up like whoa. Also, WHIP IT GOOD!
She comes already equipped with magic, including drowsy which is useless and costs a fucking grand, jesus christ. Anyway, I'll buy her some more magic and better equipment in town. Also her equipment, Frock, has the IP skill healing which is pretty awesome, although I'll probably just use strong.
Hell yeah! It also has Flame Attack as its IP, which is a 1.5x attack power fire attack.
Notice that they all completely forgot about the earthquakes and catfish.
I haven't decided. Then you should go to Alunze Kingdom, they're having a coronation ceremony soon. I want to go, but it's way past the northwest shrine, so it's too far for me.Hmm I see, I guess I should do that, since it's the next town and yeah. But people are actually giving me useful information, awesome!
Oh shit make Tia mad and fire rains down from the sky! Actually this is the animation for the spell spark.
He should have said Good Journey then it'd be a Masters of the Universe reference which would be awesome.
What is this weird tree here? Hmm I'd better investigate!
Foomy is a fucking cool name for some woods!
Of course I said yes.
I see. Then stand before this spring. It is the sacrad ground of Capsule Monster Foomy. If your fight is just, Foomy will join you.HELL YES IS HE LIKE A GIANT VIKING WITH A HAMMER OR SOMETHING SWEET?!
Nah he's an AWESOME FOAMY BLOB!
Hell yeah, we get to name him too!
His default name is JELZE but what the fuck kind of horribly stupid ass name is that?! Fuck you game, you keep calling him capsule monster foomy and then call him JELZE?! FUCK YOU!
There is only one name for him
Capsule monsters fight alongside you as an AI controlled extra character. Even if they get hurt or die, they always come back next battle fully healed. You can't heal them directly, but heal all moves and skills will heal them. There is one for each element. Foomy is neutral. See the option feed? You feed him your old equipment to make him grow and eventually "class change." Think evolution in pokemon. This game came out BEFORE pokemon, though, so hmm. As you can see:
Each monster has four classes, and a special M class which you obtain by special means I will show later.
As you can see, he has a big long meter, and once it fills he class changes. They like foods differing amounts, and ones they like a lot will fill in a lot of bars. However, as they progress further food is less and less effective. Also, in the box that says MMM good, they request specific items to eat. Usually, if you give them that item, it fills in like 1/3 of the bars, however that isn't always the case, like if it's Green Tea they just say yuck.
You guys can name the other capsule monsters, but Foomy is foomy 4 lyfe. I'll post the pics of his four forms later, but the M one is special and I'll only show you it ingame.
A castle town that separates the castle and the town?! Awesome!
Upstairs in the Inn is a "casino" with one slot machine and a bunch of shitty prizes. There's a proper casino somewhere, but it also isn't that great. Although it has some of the best female equipment!
Yeah I'll probably have to go there.
Decked out lolz I HOPE NO ONE TRIES TO STEAL IT I SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS PLAN.
Yeah we'll probably have to find him or some shit later. Also, I wonder if he has a brother named Cain?
Next update: The coronation ceremony. Will the next update be tomorrow? Or will it be in a week? I don't know, honestly, but I'll try to update again tomorrow before I go on vacation.