Part 9

Yeah, camu jewel is good, but I'll live without it, this isn't the hardest game in the world, even if Buster Attack is sweet.

So anyway today I am in Birmingham, Alabama. It's pretty cool, kinda like a southern Buffalo but without the great chicken wings. And in today's update, we fight SA's favorite creepy crawler! And kill it with fire!

First of all, I'm getting those chests on top of the tower.


For Guy


For Maxim


For Tia


The flame dagger let's me attack at triple power as its IP! Maybe that'll be useful if I encounter anything I need to kill with fire.


Raises attack and defense? Sweet armor. Also, only Guy can equip this.


This is like a better version of what she has, which is pretty awesome. Okay now that I can actually pass through this tower


Let's continue on.

five step later


Wow that was really close



Yes it's lovely. Is this made of glass?

Yeah, you can buy them in that shop!

looks like there is a glass shop in this town. Hey so I can buy more spells!


this could prove to be useful. Also, doesn't Guy look a lot like a mickey mouse doll when he sits? Maybe I'm just crazy.

And also better equipment, although with the stuff from the tower my equipment is pretty awesome.

The item names and descriptions rock.


He's rich, so. . .

I understand that you are warriors. Have you ever been to the north cave?

No, why do you ask?

Rumor has it there's an apple-shaped ruby there, and I believe ever rumor I hear, but I can't get to it because of the monsters. I just have to have this Ruby Apple, even though I don't know for sure that is exists or not, but I'm rich so the conventions of reality don't apply to me. If you so happen to find it, would you sell it to me? Of course I will pay anything, because I am rich and have nothing else to do with my money.



What, again? I told them one more delay and they're out! And I can do that, because I am very rich!

What shall we do?

Hmm, let's see. . . oh sweetheart, don't bring this up in front of our guests.

Why not? I don't see anything wrong with speaking the truth! Plus, we need to reenforce the fact that we are stereotypical heartless rich people!

Haha now honey isn't there something you should be doing, IN THE KITCHEN?

alright alright

Excuse me how embarassing hahahaha my wife should know her place.

You know I never actually agreed to his ridiculous proposition, why should I get him some fucking ruby apple that probably doesn't exist and risk life and limb? Fuck that guy, I'm skipping this town.


. . . fuck. I guess I should do this stupid fetch quest. I promise that the plot actually advances in the next town. First let's check out that glass shop.



No, my husband makes all the crafts.

Really? Is he here today?

No, he's off on a journey. He seeks beautiful things and turns them into glass, even though he has no fighting experience or combat training. And, surprisingly, he hasn't come back for a while. He has never been away this long before!

Aw geez I hope this isn't some kind of lame rescue mission. Wait she doesn't know where he is. Maybe I'll run into him later. Oh yeah she sells me some glass stuff but it isn't very good.


Yeah, nothing exciting, doesn't have an IP skill, I mean I guess if you want her to suck or something.

outside I fought some exciting new enemies, and by some I mean one!





Well anyway onto the cave


Which is right here north of the town.


Hey it's a doggy hey doggy nice doggy I've got a nice juicy bone for ya (yeah right like anyone will get that reference)


Man I was just chopping down grass and a switch appeared OH SHIT BEES!


And Poison Beetles! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?! I did get lucky and got a Bee Rock, though.


He could use some Agility. Its IP is immobilize which paralyzes your opponent - IF YOU'RE LUCKY! I guess it kind of sucks.


That wall is very inconspicuous I'm totally not going to blow it up and go through it. Oh wait that's exactly what I did.


Must be communist or something. Bats are weak against fire and light spells. Like they should be.


This is one of those puzzles where you flip one switch and the ones above/below and next to it switch as well. Not too difficult, I think you can solve them in as little as like four moves, but anyway after a few switchings I flipped them over. Also I can blow up that wall on the left.


The faint noise of something draining could be heard. Through that hole in the wall is a teleporter!


Whoa I'm back here hey that dog I wonder if he does tricks?


I like how you don't have to persuade them at all, they just join up instantly. You just have to name them, and since you people are uncreative I just left him with his default name.


He's okay I mean I'll use him the rest of this dungeon.


He can swing his tail to do damage I mean I guess that's useful.


I discovered this place but I'm a completionist so I filled in both bridge parts.


Upstairs, I stepped on a switch and made more stairs appear! STAIRS EVERYWHERE!


There, fixed. Now I shall murder some helpless goblins.


Well they don't look too helpless, but things in armor hate lightning so yeah.


Well shit I hate forks. Actually these lead to the same room, the left to a dead end so I'll take the right.


Well now I can cross that on the left side! However, I don't want to go back yet I have unfinished business on this side.


Yeah the blue blocks are kinda like ice but I don't know why they don't call it ice.


Yeah you see you can make platforms appear in the ice! it creates a 3x3 square around the tile you place it in. You can get some neat treasure this way.


Heading off left, I find a flame fruit! As we know, these are for the opposing elemental capsule monster, so I'll save it.


To get down here you have to place the ice in very specific places, the ones I did put them in there. Those two platforms off to the side have ice blocks on them, so you have to connect those with one ice block so you can make it all the way over to the treasure chests. Yeah, it makes sense to me and I'm the one playing so fuck off.


Whip it good. One of the few water elemental weapons.


I won't say anything about this because the description is funnnier than anything I can say about it.


Yeah yeah awesome it raises his attack I only like it for the description:





She can certainly suck up magic damage, that's for sure.


Anyway there was a set of stairs in that area that I somehow neglected to screenshot. Behind these vines is:


Every dungeon, no matter how big or small, needs a key. There should be a dungeon that is three rooms, the first has a locked door and an unlocked one, and the unlocked door leads to a room with the key for the locked door, and the locked door leads to NOTHING.


Meanwhile, across the bridge I created by shooting that switch, I found another secret passage I wonder what's behind it!


This is a good time to save because the next boss is pretty fucking hard.


Yeah I just want to prove I actually use all these keys.


Yes it's just sitting there in the middle of the room clearly this isn't a trap at all let's just go grab it and


Oh God

SPIDER!


Yes he's rather large, and hairy, and frightening. . . actually I always thought of this boss as a she for some reason. Well anyway so not surprisingly she is weak to fire but has high MGR so it's not like spark rips her a new asshole or anything.


Luckily Blaze gets a little bit of an advantage with his fire typing. Of course, the Tarantula immediately got rid of him because of this, like the jerk she is, so he didn't make it to the end of the battle.


Maxim can take off a big chunk of health, but of course it uses up most of his IP bar so he can only use it once, maybe twice.


Remember how I said this is hard? Without trying very hard, she can hit all of your people AND poison them. If I weren't on a ridiculously high level, this would be deadly. But I am so it was only mildly annoying.


And of course she starts healing herself by around 200hp when she wants. Fucking bitch.


And of course summons friends just to piss me off. Yeah. Fuck you tarantula. Luckily I am awesome and killed her pretty easily.


Yeah I won but poor blaze did not survive. Of course they come back after battle, but still.


Opps look it's all broken and shit.

Was it broken in the battle?

Wait a minute, I thought Rubies were supposed to be a pretty strong gem. It can't be broken so easily!

What's going on?

I have no idea!

Clearly this is a mystery only scooby and the gang can solve!




. . . or I could walk into the room behind here.


You know, they always say that but I could've spent ten more hours building levels and he still would have said the same thing.

Why did you come to such a dangerous place? You don't appear to be an explorer, or a fighter, or a researcher, or anyone special really.

I'm a glass craftsman. You see, I cannot make a living just making glass crafts. I really needed money during my trip and heard there was an enormous treasure here. So I came here, but as you can see I'm not cut out for treasure hunting. I'd love to give you something for saving me, but I only have this. WIll you accept it?


Hey wait didn't that ruby apple just get destroyed?

I found this lovely red glass during my trip, so I made this out of it just for fun. I made two and sold one in the city. You seem to know about this?

You're kidding. Wait a second.


She went to the other room and got it, she didn't just like have it in her pocket.

This is the treasure you were talking about. The Ruby Apple!

What?! Wait, this is just glass, it's not a ruby!

When was it you sold that glass apple?

At the start of my journey, a long time ago.

I don't know how it got here, but it became THE talk of the town.

How is that possible? Jaffy, who did you sell this glass apple to?

To a rich guy in Narcysus. He treated me great when I told him I ran the glass shop in Clamento. I've known other rich guys, but this guy was nice, not like Rochy.

In any case, we got the Ruby Apple, let's go back and get the money from Rochy.

But this is just glass!

Look at that apple closely, can you tell the difference?

That's right. We found the ruby apple in this cave. That's the truth.

Maxim, I never though I'd hear something like that from you!

If Rochy thinks it's the ruby, then it's worth that much. Let's head back to Clamento.

Yeah I'll head back too.

Okay see you there.

Sorry I got sick of typing all that shit up by the end there. You get the idea, I didn't skip much, just them bantering on about the apple. Oh yeah ps


First he gives me the apple, THEN we head back. Also, note that Jaffy never actually pointed out the fact that he was Jaffy. Weird.



Thank you so much. This is to show my appreciation. Please, take it.

Oh my this is a lot of money! Are you sure?

Oh yes, I never hold back when it comes to quality! Har har har Also I will talk to the man at the small shrine so that you may pass.

But. . .

Tia! Thank you sir, we'll be on our way.



It just shows us how good Jaffy's work is, that's all.

But. . .

Just shut up and let's go.

Man Maxim is going to keep this whole undisclosed amount of money?! WHAT IS HE THINKING?!


Oh I see what he's doing.

Oh, it's you Maxim!

Yes. I wanted to give you this.

What? Money? What's going on with all this money?

That's how much Rochy paid for your glass apple.

B. . .but I gave you that apple, I can't accept this!

That's alright, the money belongs to you.

But. . .

If it makes you feel better, why not sell me this earring? The money will cover it, right?

Thank you so much!

Don't mention it. Well, we've got to go now!


She's quick.

Yeah. Hey so take this.

You're giving it to me?

Well, I can't wear it!

My what a lovely thing for you to do!


With that, she hapilly skips and jumps off the screen.

Such a simple thing makes her so happy. She's like a little girl.

Yeah. But I don't know if coming with me will make her happy.

Well, that's something she'll decide, right?

I guess. Hey Tia, we're leaving!

Yeah, so there's some foreshadowing that she isn't going to be in my party forever. But we knew that, right?


Oh snap, what's this?!


Oh my goodness, what an enormous butt!


Oh I see, I wonder if this is an important town?


What kinds of fetch quests will they send me on this time? Find out next update!

So should I keep using Blaze or use Foomy instead next time or what? I won't prepare the update until you guys have told me which monster to use.