Part 20: The Lostest Boys

Chapter 18: The Lostest Boys



Last time, Mr. Kung-fu tasked us with going to Taben's Peak to investigate the bandits there and possibly even stop their enslavement of children. Wow, this got dark. In any case, the peak is directly to the east.



I didn't run into any random encounters. It's very close by.




That's, uh, one heck of a mountain.

Actually, if you look at the bottom, you can see tank treads. Hmm....





Indeed, this is the Grindery! In Lunar 1, Ghaleon built himself a giant tank fortress, because if you're megalomaniac taking over the world then why the hell not? That same tank took out Vane, as we saw in the flashback machine in the Mystic Ruins. In fact, the Grindery did break down right outside Meribia (after Alex and co. took out the magic flame fueling the engine, yeah I don't get it either) so there's some continuity there. Well, actually, the Grindery stopped directly north of Meribia, which was in a totally different location in the first game any- oh whatever it's magic let's move on.



: Statistically, this is where most of the robberies take place. Keep your eyes peeled and your hands on your valuables.
: Ronfar! Get your hands out of your pants!
: Ungh... well... well... well, she said! Just followin' the lady's orders...

So why hasn't Jean beaten him to death already?

Oh, and we already know the path to Vane is blocked, but let's just check it out anyway.


: I'll bet those bandits did this! Pooh! This was the path to Vane, too! Maybe we can find some other way...

We cannot. Of course, the blockade is nothing more than some pipes, boxes, and branches, and would probably take less than an hour to clear. But the world of Lunar, above all else, is full of very lazy people.

Ah well, we weren't going to be heading that way quite yet anyway. So instead let's go do what we were going to do.



Wait a second...

: Hey!
: Well I'll be a monkey's uncle-in-law! It's the splitting image of you, Ruby! 'cept it's white. Hey! I thought you were supposed to be one of a kind.
: I... I thought I was...



: Hey! You over there! Wait up!



: Are you deaf or something? I said wait!



: Where did that little one go? I know he's got to be in here somewhere! Hello?! Ollie ollie oxen free!
: Ah ha! Gotcha you little twerp!
: Hey!



: Ooo! Put me down this instant! Who do you think you are?!


: My name is Nall. What are you people doing on my property? I don't welcome trespassers, so you'd better have a good story!



Ooookay... there's a bit to cover here.

: Oh yeah?! Just try it, you rude freak of nature!
: Rude... freak... of...? ... listen here! You are trespassers on my property! Not the other way around! If I were in your shoes, I'd tread lightly! Anyway, you seem harmless enough, and I don't have time to fool with you. So I'd recommend that you turn right around and leave while you can! Continue at your own risk!



So... Nall, huh. Nall was in the first game.



Yeap, same white flying cat we saw. Well, we later learn Nall is actually a baby dragon. So, yeah, if you played the first game and have no idea what's going on with Ruby, you have brain damage. I'm sorry to break it to you like this. Anyway, while Nall had a secret identity twist in the first game, he was distinctively not-humanoid. So, uh, I'm not sure why he decided to turn into Rufio.


: I wonder if he's a member of the Blue Dragon Cult!
: Hmm... I don't think so... I don't remember ever seeing him.

I really don't think they're going to turn one of the main characters from the first game into a child slaver. Not until the dark and gritty reboot, anyway.

_{Shit, I shouldn't even joke about stuff like that.}

: No... no... his aura is not one of evil. He's something like a...
: Oh... sure! Gang up on me and tell me what a nice guy he is! I'm not changing my mind! That kid's nothing but a punk! Where's Dirty Harry when you need him?!

"He tugged my wings SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE."

: Hey... hey... hey! Look! Over there! That looks like some sort of elevator! Maybe it can take us over Taben's Peak to Vane! We're so close! I'm sure we can make it!
: But... the boy said to turn around! Is there a way to get there without going through the forest? I've really had my share of confrontation for the week...

You're really not cut out for this RPG hero thing, are you Ruby?



Also the elevator doesn't seem to work.



So... Taben's Peak. Is a bit of a bitch, actually. Far more than I really remembered it being.



The design of the dungeon is simple enough. It's a bunch of planks over the trees, occasionally with some arrows that may or may not indicate where you need to go. There's a complete of twists in the path here and there, but it's not really a maze.



Sadly, the enemies are largely palette swaps from the Haunted Manor, although without the gimmick this time. The Tormentors live up their name. They're quite fast, about as fast or slightly slower than Jean, and they like to come in big groups like this.



And their special attack hurts like a bitch. Fortunately, their regular attacks don't do as much, about 20-30 to Jean and 15-20 to Hiro, but you saw how much that special attack hurt. Hiro actually ended the round with 1 HP. I cut that close. Well, I could just heal him beginning of second round-



Okay, I'll admit I had no excuse for this. I knew Ronfar, even with his agility boost, wasn't going to go before the enemy, and I had Jean attack like a stupid. Although Hiro still may have been fucked, as herbs don't restore that much and there's four dudes left, one preparing to do its special, but...



Yeah, I fucked up.



And then Lemina finished them off. Whew! Man, I honestly forgot how much Lemina can kick ass, especially when you don't have much in the way of multi-target spells.



Thankfully, the rewards are very nice. Lemina gained a level, as well she deserved it, but the real prize is the MExp. I'm going to be earning a lot of MExp in this dungeon. Part of that is due to my own stupidity.



And say hello to the other Haunted Manor palette swap! They're not particularly noteworthy. They still have the straw thing.



Yeah, uh, that. It doesn't drain MP this time, though, but now they can do it twice in a round. Oh my gosh, one HP of damage to two party members?! This game is sadistic!

However, there is one enemy sprite we haven't seen before.



These are interesting. According to the guidebook, they give out stupid awesome amounts of experience.

I say "according to the guidebook" because I didn't manage to kill one.



For one, Ice Mongrels have stupid high defense. That was from Lemina's Flame spell. Poe Sword can only manage to do about 80 damage or so. They have 500 HP.



Also, they really like running away.

So, yeah, they're Metal Slimes, although at least Metal Slimes you can kill if you get lucky with a critical attack. I had no such luck.



The exit for the first floor is super easy to find. It's just all the way to left and then down.

For the next floor you're going to want to go all around on the upper way, until you reach the stairs, go down, and then to the right.



Along the way, you find these weird chutes. There's actually no reason to ever to use them, except to get one piece of treasure. Obviously I will get said treasure, and I will do it in the stupidest way possible, but for sane people ignore these things.



And here is the treasure! You can't actually get to it from this floor. I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out how the hell you get it before giving up and looking at the guidebook. Guys, I swear I've played this game several times before.

So how do you get it? Well, you have to down and around and then up to the next floor. From the next floor, go left, all the way up, right, and then down.



Until you reach this chute. Go down and...



You get a pretty pink bow. It increases defense by 2 compared to the girls' current headgear. I put it on Jean.

And that's the only piece of treasure in the entirety of Taben's Peak. And once we've got it, we have to go down yet another floor and then climb back up.

Yeah, if you want the treasure you have to climb up to the 5th floor, drop down to the 4th for the treasure, then drop down to the third. Well fuck that I thought. So I didn't actually grab it on the way up. I decided to get it on the way back out. I thought it'd be fairly quick, as I'd just drop in, grab the treasure, and warp out.

Guess what's disabled in this dungeon?

Yeah, I really got my fill of this place. This dungeon isn't particularly hard, but it's longer than I remember. And none of the enemies are susceptible to status ailments, making my strategy of spamming Chance Dice bite me in the ass.



Although, if you roll snake eyes, it fucking murders dudes. Small consolations.



Honestly, for all the shit I give her, Lucia's really turning into a big help. She pretty much consistently does something at least a little bit useful, and doesn't require MP to boot. She was honestly probably more useful than Jean was the whole time, and doesn't that sting?



Anywho, if we pretend you didn't go down this chute (and really, you shouldn't) from here you all the way up and to the left. On the next floor, up and to the right, and there's the exit.



Like so.



So I guess we're in the bandit hideout? I wonder if we'll find our new frie-



Oh hey buddy.

: Ha! I found you!
: Back in the forest, I warned you to turn around and leave this place! You'll be sorry you didn't listen! Dragon Kids, at the ready!



Oh my god a bunch of 8-year-olds. What are we going to do.

: Hey, will you look at that! I guess you can't escape even if you wanted to!

Well, we could just, I don't know, punch the kids really, really hard, but then we'd feel bad about that.

: My Dragon Kids will keep you here until I decide what to do with you. Kids, keep these people from escaping at any cost. That's an order!
: Yes, Nall! It won't be any problem. They look too stupid and weak to cause any trouble.
: Don't judge them their appearance. They're agents of the Blue Dragon Cult!

"Meaning even this small group could easily dispatch a bunch of rag-tag kids."



"Well, have fun with that."

: Blue Dragon Cult? What did he mean by that? What's going on?
: These must be the bandits of Taben's Peak! But, this dump is their hideout?
: Bandits? Whoa there, pumpkin pants! They're just kids!
: So, you are saying that in this world, children are forbidden to be bandits? That's very interesting. Who enforces this rule? I have never heard of it.

Oh god, doesn't that open up an uncomfortable avenue of discussion! You have the issues of poverty, social roles, child exploitation...

: Oh, come on! Geez, Lucia! Ya have to take everything so literally?! Ronfar just mean that it seems weird that these kids could be bandits. No hidden meaning, no rules. Just an observation. Get with the program!


: Where do I sign up?
: Oh, puhlease! Just... forget it!

Anywho, now that we've been captured, let's walk around and casually talk to people.


: Hey, Hiro! This kid's scared to death of us! Hahaha!
: I... I'm warning you! I know h... how to use d... d... deadly force!

Eh, that takes way too much effort to learn, and costs too much TP. Stick with Super Swallow Dance.





Shut your mouth!


: If you succeed, Nall will yell at me and make me cry!

This is the saddest capture I have ever seen.


: I'll tie your underwear in a knot so tight, it'll cut you like cheese!

Nevermind. Damn kid, that's nasty.


: If I took you down to the bottom and you escaped, Nall'd have my head. He just promoted me from garbage duty, and I ain't going back! No way I'm riskin' my butt for you guys! If you want out, ask Nall yourselves!
: Wimp.

But- but what if we asked really nicely?



: The Blue Dragon Cult is evil. They teach innocent children to be killers. Once trained in the ways of black death karate, they can never leave the cult. I am the only one ever trained that successfully escaped. It's a chapter of my life I'd just as soon forget... ... but enough about that... We've got to find a way to rescue your friends before it's too late!

You know, for as tight-lipped as she was about this, Jean's getting awful chatty as of late.


: They must have some strong magic...

Such as... arms.


: Blue Dragon Cult? ...us? I think you're a very confused little girl.

"Anyway, you want to hear how I was trained to brutally kill people with my bare hands?"



I do have to say, I like how they gussied up the place. Hell, I'm just glad you can get to the top of this place without going through a mind-numbing labyrinth first.

Anywho, on the second floor we see-





For some odd reason I'm starting to get a premonition of something stupid happening in the future... not sure why...


: Music is all I live for!
: It is wonderful, isn't it? I love this thing you call music. It... touches my... what's the word?

Buuuurrns!

: ...ah, yes... soul.

Oh, sorry. Lapsed into a different musical number there.

: Ha ha! Maybe we can sing together sometime.


: If Nall knew I was talking to you, he'd kill me!

Well, he'd have to go through all your friends first.

: I'm Ronfar and these are friends. I guess now we're not strangers anymore?
: Ha! Like that's gonna convince me! What do you think I am? Stupid?

Oh, nice try Ronnie, but next time, try not coming off as a pedo.


: It is easy to train children to hate, but it's harder to teach them how to get along.

A little simplified, but ain't that the truth?

Well, I think we might have established that these kids may not be a group of killer assassins, so let's talk to Nall and get the full story.


: You killers makes me sick![sic] I demand that you return the children you have kidnapped! If you refuse, we will destroy you!
: We're not members of the Blue Dragon Cult! Nall! Our mission is the same. We have come here to find out who's behind this. I was once a member of the cult, and I know there is no way you can defeat them... Especially if you're going to rely on these children for help.

"Seriously, Nall, you kind of suck at this."

: You don't know what you're talking about. I can crush this cult at will... if I can find them! I've decided to give you a chance to prove yourselves. Return the kidnapped children to me, and I'll spare your lives. But to make sure you don't pull a double-cross, I need a hostage... let me think... you... Lucia! You will stay here.

How does he know her name? They never introduced themselves. Okay, okay, you can argue that it's logical that he knows who she is but then that opens up another can of worms...

: What?! How do you...
: I've decided. There will be no more discussion. Guards... forward!



: Yes Nall! First Admiral Fludgy at your will!
: This girl is going to stay with us awhile. Don't let her out of your sight.
: Yes, sir!


: Cool!! We get to play the hostage game again! I love it!

You know, Nall is really depending these guys' common decency to not punt children in the face. He'd best count his lucky stars the Lucia had her whole character development bit just before.

: Lucia, don't worry. You'll be fine until your friends return.
: Ha ha ha ha! Welcome to hell... We're takin' you to the play room.


: Hiro, you must find the kidnapped children! Every second I waste here brings your world closer to destruction. Hurry... you must hurry!
: Hey! You're not playing fair! When you're the hostage you don't talk! Unless we need to prove that you're still alive. You sure don't know how to play this game.


: Now... down to business. In order to find the Blue Dragon Cult you must go to Meribia. We think their hideout is somewhere in the Meribian sewers. You might want to start your search.
: If you know where their hideout is, why haven't you gone there yourself?!

Actually, that's a good question. Nall should know where the entrances to the sewer are, he's been there. It's been a while, yes, but he'd know where to start. Those kids in Meribia shouldn't have been so lost.

: Silence!
: Who is this brat?! He's got to be the rudest person I've ever met!
: Enough talk! Go to Meribia and locate the Blue Dragon Cult, understand?

No, mister, you are not weaseling out of this plot hole!

: Okay, I'll say it slower this time, and I hope that you pay attention! Go... to... Meribia. Find... the... underground... sewers. Get... back... the... kidnapped... children. If... I was... you... I... would... look... in... Ramus's... store... and... I... would... also... search... Lunn's... gym. Now beat it!

Okay, so he does remember where the entrance to the sewers are... and didn't tell those kids for some reason. Then why bother- oh fuck it whatever.

All right, guess we've got our next objective. Before we leave, let's check up on Lucia.


: Just promise me you'll hurry Hiro. I must see the Goddess Althena before all is lost.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

: The children here are making me feel like crawling out of my skin. What's happening to me?
: Basically, you're saying that these hyper brats are getting on your nerves. Perfectly normal.

Oh Lunar: Eternal Blue. You're all right in my book.

: Is that what you call it? I don't like it at all. Hiro, you must hurry and rescue the kidnapped children! I must leave here and continue my mission before I go insane!


: Whaddya think? Maybe a country ditty to start? ...or should I flash forward to some metal?

Oh please do.


: Stay away from Lucia. The babe can't keep her hands off of me!
: ...

And Hiro starts to wonder if he can hate a kid to death. He cannot.

: Geez! This kid's a walking hormone!


: But, I wonder what's wrong with her. She seems so... so... sad...

Eh, it's just the weight of this strange world on her shoulders. Dunno what Lucia's being such a baby about.



Well, we have a vacancy...

: It's just too risky. You'd better stay here.

Oh poo.


: He's become like a hero to me. I want to be just like him when I grow up!


: Nall really does take care of everyone here.
: Until this all gets straightened out, stay close to him.

Aw. That's kinda sweet

In any case, time's a wasting, and frankly I wouldn't want to be in Lucia's shoes either, so let's hit the road.


: Oh, I don't know... maybe because you know how to operate the Gondola? Stop me if I'm going too fast for you...



What, you mean instantly warp to the ground floor and skip tedious backtracking?! Who do you think I am, a sane person?!

: Hey! What do you think I am? Some sort of weird toy for your own amusement? I don't think these little games are funny!
: Probably has something to do with the lobotomy they gave you at birth. I've heard that takes the joy out of things...

Oh Ruby, why so pointlessly malevolent?

I'll spare you all the tedious backtracking I decided to inflict on myself, and we'll pick up next time in Meribia. 'till then!