Part 39: 'Till the Fat Man Sings

Chapter 34: 'Till the Fat Man Sings






All right, we're at last in Borgan's lair. Although it seems we're not alone.


: He thought that if I told people how he was nothing but a failure in school, they wouldn't respect him. Loser!

It seems like Borgan's going all Jiang Qing. I can't say that's surprising.


: His plumpness is up there feasting, while I'm sitting down here starving...
: Oh no... hurry! We've got to find my mother... If she's in this kind of condition, I'm going to kill that obese jerk!

Well, let's not waste any more time. Let's find that shit hog!



That was quick.


: Why, if it isn't little Lemina and friends. I trust you've had time to look around Neo-Vane?



: You've seen the fruit of my discipline and tight regulation. Neo-Vane is vastly superior to the original in every way. Once people forget about the old Vane, I will begin a glorious new Magic Guild... right here.


: Bow before the new premier of the Neo-Vane Magic Guild! If you're lucky, perhaps I'll spare your lives! Hm, hm, hm, ho, ho, ho...
: Borgan, you're dreaming! I won't let you get away with this!
: You... are a fool!
: Yes... I am.



: I'm a fool for wasting so much of my time ignoring the advice my mother gave me. She said that restoring the Magic Guild alone wasn't enough. I needed to revive the history and tradition of Vane. I never realized how important that was until I saw this disgusting mockery of everything Vane stands for. *sigh* I just hope it's not too late to stop you...


: Oh honey, you didn't think it would be that easy, did you? I have no intention of giving up this utopia I've created. If I give you the Black Dragon Aura, I will lose all I have created. And that would be a pity, don't you think?
: The only pity would be letting you continue with this mega-farce! Your rule is nothing more than a sham, built on the power of the Black Dragon. I intend to show that to the world.
: I wouldn't expect anything less from you, dumpling. I've been itching to try out my new Gravity Bomb spell. And you and your pathetic friends will be the perfect subjects... I'm certain you'll find it quite... impressive. Gwa ha ha ha ha!




So... some of you may have noticed a fair amount of buzz about this boss fight. It's considered by many to be one of hardest fights in the game, if not the hardest, and perhaps the hardest of the entire series.



They're not wrong.

The way you can tell if someone playing the original Lunar 2 versus the remake is to mention "Gravity Bomb." If they start to involuntarily twitch, then they played the original. In the gif I posted, that killed off nearly half my party. In full disclosure I forgot to prepare for the fight, and I reloaded pretty soon after. Still, you can tell we're in for a rough ride.

Moreover, this isn't a rare attack; Borgan Gravity Bombs nearly every other turn. At least he does have a clear tell for it; when his arms are out stretched, he's gonna bomb your ass.

In the interest of completeness, Borgan does get other attacks:



A wind attack that hits the entire party. (If I was bothering to level up Hiro's magic he'd have a version that spell)



And an earth attack that's clearly a recolor of Lemina's Ice Wall. (And like Ice Wall, it's an AoE attack) Borgan also gets a lightening spell he decided not to use in this battle for some reason. None of these spells are Gravity Bomb, so they don't really matter.

You may have noticed Borgan is not alone here. In fact, he has three orbs with him, all of which do a specific function.



The lower orb in the center casts Lem's Magic Shield. It's probably the least annoying of the orbs, but it does push characters away if you're trying to use normal attacks. The barrier will also reduce damage until you break it, which can be done easily enough, however if you're unlucky in turn order you may not have it broken by the time Hiro does his Poe Sword, and you really need that Poe Sword.



The orb behind Borgan heals him. It heals him to the tune of 200 HP a round, not insignificant.



The worst one, however, the one in front. That little guy will only attack one character a round, but with Borgan's nasty attacks, it's easy to lose a character. Also, if you're using Magic Shield, it'll knock characters away, making the spell less useful.

Ronfar really can't keep up with the damage; I actually had Ronfar cast Saint Litany in the first round, just for an extra boost. But it's still not enough. You absolutely need to cast some sort of protective spell.



If you don't recall, White Dragon Protect forms a barrier that will protect each party member completely from one attack. It's damn near a necessity in this fight. Now, if I had bothered to alter my formation prior to the battle, I could have tried Magic Shield; it does cost less MP. Honestly, I should have. Magic Shield will half the damage Gravity Bomb does, which is a huge help. Also, it won't necessarily break immediately, it kind of depends on the spell or skill being used. (I'll admit, I'm not 100% sure how it works. Gravity Bomb definitely breaks it, though.) But you have to arrange your party around Lemina beforehand to get the full effect of the spell, and I didn't do that. So Magic Shield is out for me.

So, what do we do? First off, we cannot even begin to damage Borgan unless at least one of those orbs are down. The attack orb is the first to go; we don't need another source of damage. The orbs don't have a lot of HP, about 1700, but if we want to speed up the process we have a little trick up our sleeve.



I gave Jean the Blue Dragon Crest so she could cast the much ballyhooed Blue Dragon Vigor. Now, if you've played the remake, you'd know that in that game Blue Dragon Vigor is a full party heal. Nice, but not that great. In the original, it gives the caster an extra number of attacks.



Like, a lot.



As in, Jean got off seven attacks. And I actually kind of fucked up. She would have gotten off two more attacks, but after the attack orb died the stupid barrier orb pushed her back and she ran out of range. All in all, she did just under 800. (My next best attacker, Hiro, does just under 400 with Poe Sword) And I actually didn't buff her attack; if I did, she would have done more damage.

Now, Jean isn't the only one who can use Blue Dragon Vigor, Hiro could potentially make decent use of it, but Jean is a popular choice. Why her? Well, she gets the highest number of attacks as it is, she has more MP to spend on it, but moreover, she has the highest luck. Most of the damage you do with this spell comes from critical hits, and of her seven attacks, three were crits.

While both of the Dragon spells are super useful here, the obvious downside is both cost 99 goddamn MP. Unless you want to waste all of your Silverlights here (and I stupidly didn't even bring one into battle), you'll need some way to keep MP up.



Lemina has Magic Swiper, and with her high wisdom, she can swipe a pretty decent chunk from the enemy. Enough to keep the White Dragon Protects coming for a while. The orbs have a ton of MP, you can steal from them forever. Borgan, on the other hand, only has about 300 or so.

While Lemina's pretty set, Jean is another question. Well, I got the Illusion Ring, so I could just have Jean swipe some magic when she needs it- oh wait I put the ring on Ronfar instead.



And I attempted to do the Blue Dragon Vigor thing to the barrier orb, which resulted her being pushed away and wasting 99 MP.



AND BORGAN STOLE THE REST OF MY MP. YOU DICK.

So, yeah, that was my first major mistake. If I had some Silverlights, it wouldn't be such a big deal, but no. I also didn't feel like throwing a ton of Starlights on her, so Jean just went without. She had one more Haduken in her, then it was back to regular attacking. Yay.



Thankfully I eventually got the barrier orb down, so that's one annoyance down.

So at this point I figured, let's go straight for Borgan and end this damn fight! After all, he only has 2700 HP, a surprisingly low amount for this point in the game. But here's the rub. His defense is quite high. Hiro only does a little over 200 damage, and Jean's damage varies on whether or not she gets crits. If she doesn't, she doesn't even break 150. (Although her crits by themselves do about 170) Lemina and Ronfar are too busy on defense duty to do any damage. So basically the healing orb makes Borgan's 2700 HP last twice as long as it otherwise would.

I realized this after a few rounds of wailing on Borgan, and it starts to occur to me that maybe I should take out the healing orb first. But then again I already put the effort in on Borgan and if I stop attacking him won't the orb undo my work and- basically the worst thing you can do at this point is be indecisive. Which is what I did. This was my third major mistake.

What was my second? Well, earlier, I mentioned I used Magic Swiper in this fight. Mostly, I used it on Borgan. Remember how I said his MP total was low? Now, draining Borgan's MP doesn't sound that bad, but here's the thing: his Gravity Bomb doesn't run off MP.



Also this attack doesn't, either. He usually very rarely attacks, but now that he has no MP to cast his other magic, he's pretty much restricted to Gravity Bomb and this attack. Fun! (Also, you can't see it easily, but it pushes everyone away. Pretty much kills the usefulness of Magic Shield. Even if you do primarily use Magic Shield, make sure to pack White Dragon Protect just in case.)

I did get Lemina back on her feet, but unfortunately I killed the Healing Orb soon after. So that left me with Lemina at 70 MP and no source from which to steal MP. I could have just thrown a Starlight on her for one more White Dragon Protect, but...



Honestly, I was just desperate to get the battle over with. It had been going on for 20 goddamn minutes, I just hoped I could pull off a Hail Mary maneuver.

So, uh, one thing I haven't mention through this whole write up is that Borgan is really fast. Like, about as fast as Jean. Jean, Hiro, and Ronfar all have agility boosting equipment, but honestly it seems like the turn orders fucks up mostly when you have a bunch of agility scores in a tight range.

Point is, I got supremely unlucky with Ronfar's turn order and two Gravity Bombs back to back.



Yeah. I think we all know what's happening next.





That's right; Lemina pulled off one last Ice Arrow and won the damn fight.



Holy shit. I could not have engineered a better ending.




: His defeat is absolute.
: What are you talking about Lucia?
: Borgan's magic power was entirely dependent on possession of the Aura. Without it, he is unable to harness the power of the Black Dragon.
: If that's true, then Neo-Vane's very existence is in jeopardy. Mega-cool! That means people will have to go to Vane again! I think I'm going to raise the entrance fee.

...wait, what was keeping Neo-Vane-



I guess it doesn't matter.

: ...
: Borgan! Booorgaaann! What's wrong with him, is he unconscious? Wake up Borgan! This is not nap-time! I want you to return my mother to me! Oh, this is ridiculous! She must be around here somewhere... I'll just find her myself!



Fortunately for Lemina, there's really only one place to look for her mother.



But first I get the Silverlight at the end of the hall because it's a goddamned Silverlight. (Of course, it helps if I remember to use them when I need them...)


: Are you alright? He didn't... hurt you, did he?
: ...calm down, Lemina! Oh, how I prayed that you would find me...
: Mother you know that I would give my very life to save yours. You're all that I have left. And... and I love you! If Borgan has caused you any pain, I'll make him pay ten-fold in misery!
: No my dear, Borgan treated me like royalty. Just take a look over there. See! He's spoiled me rotten with all of these gifts. I told him that I would never accept anything from him, but he didn't listen. I just don't know what I'm going to do...

Leave? We just knocked Borgan on his stupid ass and took his power.

: ...Your not seriously thinking about keeping them, are you?[sic] ...mother? ......mother?

Hey, speaking of knocking Borgan on his stupid ass and taking his power, the screen starts shaking for some reason.


: The entire city is falling to the ground! Gwa ha ha ha...



Borgan may not have the Black Dragon's power he still has the power of lazy sprite artists to float on that little platform.

: Now that I no longer have the power of the Black Dragon, there is nothing keeping Neo-Vane suspending in the air. Without me, there is no way that you can use the Black Dragon's power. So what will you do now, dumpling? If you want to save your life and the lives of those you care for, you'll have to work with me, sweetcakes! Gwa ha ha ha!

The screen shakes a bit to punctuate the point.

: ...well Lemina, the decision is all yours. And unfortunately, there is no time for you to think about it... Will you live with the blood of all these people on your head! No, of course you can't, poopsie. Now, give me the Black Dragon's Aura before it's too late!
: Borgan... you're the mega-lowest of the low...


: Surrender the power to cushion our fall!



And then Lucia says, "no, I don't want to use the white phosphorus."

: We couldn't give the aura back to Borgan. I, too, can command the power of the Dragons. Neo-Vane is now on the ground.
: Damn you, Lucia! Your impudence will cost all of us dearly! ... Look what you've done! You've ruined me! Ruined me, I say! My dream of utopia is lost forever!
: ...Borgan. This isn't the end of a dream, it's the beginning. Neo-Vane was never the rightful place for the Magic Guild. Now, I can concentrate on rebuilding ancient Vane to its former glory. I have the responsibility to help everyone who wants to learn magic to do so. It doesn't matter if you are able to use magic or not, Borgan. Now is the time to put aside any past differences. If you'll renounce your former ways, I'd be happy to let you join us.
: ...what?! Lemina, you are too kind.

She really is.

: I don't belong in a world of your design. ... But, you've proven your worth to me. Here, take this. You'll need it to break the Dragon seal.



: That key will open the iron doors that seal the Black Dragon's cave. The door is located in Zaback mine. Go now! This world cries out for your healing touch!
: Oh Borgan... thanks!

...you know, it's funny. Lemina forgives Borgan relatively easily, despite Lemina being... well, Lemina. While Jean doesn't forgive Lunn, even though Lunn didn't need to be convinced as much. Huh.


: You will bring great honor to the Magic Guild. Hurry and finish your quest, and then we can rebuild the guild together.
: Mother...

Aw


: I'm glad you want to help. But, I need to tell you something... the guild has no money, so you'll have to work for free.
: Gwa ha ha ha! I was waiting for you to 'fess up, dumpling. I already knew that!

You know, for a megalomaniacal tyrant who nearly killed us, he's being awfully chill about this.

Although we're still dancing around the major issue: is he still trying to bone Lemina's mom?

: The best part about helping you rebuild Vane is that your mother will be near.

He's so trying to bone Lemina's mom.

: Listen. We need to get one thing straight, porky boy! If you make just one pass at my mother, I'll throw ya out on your fat butt!
: Gwa ha ha ha! You can't put the brakes on true love, cream puff! Miria's thoughts have come to be on me all the time, lately.
: Liar! You take that back!

...you should have just killed him when you had the chance Lem.

If you talk to him one more time, he just gives you generic "this is how you advance the game" stuff, although he does say one interesting thing.



Huh. Probably want to keep this in mind.

Now that we've eked out our little victory against Borgan, let's wrap up with some townsperson chatter.


: My life is ruined... ruined, I say! Ohhh, why me?
: Maybe you should come to Vane. I'll let you study magic there...
: Vane?! No way! The premier of the guild is stingy and only interested in money.
: That's not true! Who told you that! I demand to know!

See what I mean about the bad PR-

: I can't wait to go to Vane. There's no elitist power-trips going on there. It's my kind of place...
: Talk about changing your story...

...no kidding. We will just say that if you talk to him again, by the way. Maybe I had something when I pondered if Lunar has an epidemic of thought disorders.


: We're gonna have to postpone Borgan's wedding. All this turmoil has really screwed up this town!
: That's the best news I've heard all day!

Note they say "postponed." Not "cancelled." I can only conclude two things from this: Miria has a nasty case of Stockholm Syndrome, and no one seems to care, or she truly is dumber than a box of rocks.

_{Okay one can argue "Borgan had a change of heart she can see his true goodness blah de blah" but it's generally a good idea to never start a relationship with someone who kidnaps you. Just... a good rule of thumb.}


: Evacuate Neo-Vane before the big crash. If you donate, you'll get a free hat and t-shirt...

I think you might be just a weeee bit late on that.


: I don't know of anyone who still thinks Neo-Vane is worth saving.

Considering this town fell less than thirty minutes prior, everyone's pretty quick to give up on it, ain't they?


: This is the best thing to ever happen here. I'm glad Neo-Vane fell from the sky! You should see the people walk around here wallowing in self-pity. It's pathetic.

Did anyone ever like living in this damn town?


: I must master the magic of excessive boogers. If I can just do it, I know it'll be a riot!


: That'll be my new book. In it I'll tell of my harshships living in Neo-Vane. And of course, the heart-stopping finale in which I tell of the fall of Neo-Vane. I'm certain it'll be a best-seller.

I guess some people are looking on the bright side of things.


: He's really not a bad man. I could see spending the rest of my life with him.

... ... ..aren't you a married man with children? How the hell does Borgan have more than one creepy fan?!


: I hope she never comes back!

Then again, I guess I can see why this man wouldn't be all that enamored of being a married man with children if this is what he's dealing with.


: Geez, we didn't fall that far.

Yeah, it's the ground beneath your very feet falling. Feh. Wimp.


: I think you had something to do with that, little girl!
: I would never do anything to cause Borgan to be unhappy. He he he...

"I just went and smashed his face in. Tee hee."


: I mean, let's be real, here. He can't possibly wash every crease!
: Oh.. my... god! You just painted the most disgusting mental picture imaginable! Thanks! Now I have that forever burned in my mind!

...at least that particular bromide isn't in this game.


: It's a wonder that the ceiling didn't cave-in.

Oh, and the miner captives don't have much to say-





: But, I guess it was worth it if you had something to do with Borgan's downfall!

But yeah, mostly they're just all happy to be freed and shit.


: I don't dare speak it, but it almost seems as if the miners have... hope!


: Good! I think I'll go play with my friends! Magic was boring anyway...

And as you can guess, things are looking up in Zaback.


: In fact, maybe I'll consider your offer and apply to the Magic Guild of Vane.
: Uh, don't do me any favors, kid.


: What? There are no more trials? We're free? But... I wanted to...

Although we do have to have our prerequisite ungrate- well, this time, slightly less than grateful assholes.


: It seems anyone can get into Neo-Vane since its fall. I'm going to see my son!

Good for you-



Wow, that was fast.


: Hey, don't worry, all the magic trials have been done away with!
: Really?! Oh this is great! My prayers must have reached Goddess Althena!

That's just sweet.


: But I guess that means I'll have to leave my parents, huh?
: Yep, 'fraid so. It's a big, bad world out there. I think you'll like it...

Yeah, a wolf with a sword will kill you once you step outside of town. It's great.


: Who did they think they were to decide the fate of the people who came to them?
: Exactly! And to force you to work for nothing is beyond excusability! Hrmph! In fact, I'd say it was outright barbaric! It does serve them right!
: Lemina, Lemina... always the same... hmmhmmhmm...

Oh Lemina, just when I thought you might get some character development...


: Stinkin's real, what's the deal? His undies gettin' gray... hey! Ha ha ha... I just made that up. I'm on a roll today!

And... yeah we're done here in Zabach. So it's time to move onto the next Dragon Cave!