Part 3: The Most Underwhelming Spooky Forest Ever.

“What? From the White Dragon! I can’t believe that you were able to meet him! I’m proud that you were strong enough, but... wow! Master Dyne received a ring from the White Dragon and was then able to cross over to the continent. There he proved himself and became one of the four heroes! I stayed back in Burg because I felt I would hold him back...”

So last time we got a nifty ring and a piece of questionable jewelry. Well, there's no point in denying our destiny any longer, so let's cross over to Saith and sail onto-



Oh, right. That.



Well, conveniently, there's a house nearby. Gee, I wonder if the people inside can fix the bridge.


“Hm... now where did I leave it? Ah! I think it was in my shed in the Weird Woods.”

Really? That's our justification for this fetch quest? Picking up after some absentminded lumberjack?


“I told you that I don’t have my axe. I think I left it in my shed in the weird woods. I can’t fix the bridge without it.”

And a bit of a jerkass lumberjack at that.

Fortunately, his wife is a little bit nicer and actually tells you where these woods are.


"You'll get to the Weird Woods. In the woods, my husband has a storage shed where he sometimes sleeps."

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think I would sleep in a place called the Weird Woods. Doesn't sound conducive to a good night's sleep.

In any case, let's just go and get this over with. But before we move on, I need to take care of something I forgot to do last time. When I got Luna in my party, I neglected to move her to the back row. So let's take a look at the part order.



If you're mostly accustomed to the remake, this might look a little unfamiliar to you. Lunar 2 and onward let you set your party members anywhere you want in a small square field. Here, however, we have to place our party members in a pre-set formation. It's pretty easy though. Fighters in front, mages in back and all that.

Anyway, I don't meet any new monsters along the way, but there are some new features.



The little stone on the left restores HP, and the circle on the right restores MP. In every other Lunar game, each town (and a couple of dungeons) have statues of Althena that restore your party completely. Those don't exist in this game, so you restore your HP/MP either at these little monuments or at shrines of Althena.



Directly north of the MP shrine is our destination, the Weird Woods. Seems... kind of tiny.

By the way, in the remake the Weird Woods did exist, but this whole part played out differently. The Weird Woods were just an area outside of Burg that you had to pass to get to Saith. It's impassible at the beginning due to a heavy fog. After Alex and Ramus's inability to sell the diamond, they actually ditch Luna (because she's a girl and girls aren't any fun!) to head to Saith. But after a heart-to-heart with her, she forgives Alex and they travel together. It turns out you needed her anyway because she could dispel the fog with her singing... odd.


: They’re s’posed to be haunted…!

Oh yes they are. Haunted by-



FLIES.

Are by far the most fragile enemy in the game. Luna can one-shot them. Without a weapon. There's only one thing that makes them slightly noticeable.



They swarm you. They're far faster than you and they like to gang up on you. Fortunately, because of how the AI works, they always target the character closest to them, meaning that they never, ever targeted Luna in the back. For the most part they focused on Alex, dealing a grand total of 2 damage per fly. They do deal a bit more to Ramus and (I presume) Luna, but thankfully they mostly focus on Alex.



Ah, now that's haunted woods material... wait, those are supposed to be zombies? Zombies of the Pillsbury Doughboy, maybe. Although that is a frightening thought.

And this is what I mean when I say the command is bugged or just random. Because while zombies are far slower, they have way more HP and do far more damage. Alex can't one-shot them even with his shiny new Short Sword and Cascade cast. The fact that they're slow is meaningless, as we don't have many ways to attack at a distance.



But that changes when Luna learns her first attack spell. Well, shit, it's our first attack spell of the game! And it hits all enemies! Let's check it out.




Little underwhelming. Now, that's enough to kill the flies, but it'd hardly make a dent on the zombies. At 12 MP it's kind of a dud.



There are only two pieces of treasure we can pick up, and both will be going on Luna. The Heavy Clothes will be replacing her starting armor, and the Tiara is female-only headgear. She's now slightly less likely to die if an enemy hits her. Which they won't.

As you can guess, the Weird Woods is a pretty small area. After collecting the two pieces of treasure, we head north towards the cabin to find...



A strange man just... chilling in the woods. Okay. I guess we should say hi?



He says he's a traveler, but judging by that laugh I think we found Santa's manlier alter-ego.


: What are you doing here? What? You’re on an adventure like your hero Dyne? Wah, hah, hah, hah, hah! Oh, that’s rich! Well then, carry on!

Santa's manlier, slightly asshole alter-ego, apparently.

: Say, kids, just call me Laike, okay? If you want adventure, you’d better get off this little island... there’s nothing special going on around here.
: Doesn’t he seem a little friendly for a stranger?

And... that's kind of it. He doesn't much else to say, other than being vaguely creepy. Hell, you can just skip talking to him if you damn want to. Doesn't effect a damn thing.

In the remake however, meeting Laike is a little more involved. At the end of the Weird Woods, Alex and co. suddenly get swarmed by monsters. Laike comes to your aid and dispatches the monsters with ease! Actually you can refuse the help, but it's generally easier to let him help you. You sit and talk with Laike a bit more before going on your separate ways.

But in the original he's perfectly content to watch a group of teenagers get devoured by monsters. Dickhead.



North of where Laike stands is a red chest. Unlike the others, it's locked. We won't be opening this chest until waaaay later on, and it's not really going to be worth the return trip.



So past the bridge we finally see the woodsman's cabin. Hm... little cabin in the middle of a haunted wood with a shady man standing a short distance away... Have I entered a horror movie?



And there's even a gigantic fucking axe inside. That's all a little... on the nose for my taste.

Interesting note about this axe: it can be equipped. It's actually worse than the Short Sword Alex currently has, but it's better than the default dagger. So Ramus gets to pretend he's a lumberjack for a brief moment of joy. Sadly, you can't equip it on Luna... as amusing as that mental image is.



Right below the cabin there's a huge tree. For some odd reason examining it yields dialogue.

: Boy, that's a big tree. I wonder if it's got enough wood in it to fix the bridge?

I never even knew that little bit was there until I played this game for LP. I have no idea why it's included, other than to satisfy the spergy folk who wondered where the woodsman got the wood to fix the bridge.

But anyway, there's nothing else to see, so we can just walk out and return the axe.


"Well, anyway, now I can get to work fixing that bridge. Thanks again!"

With that, he leaves and-



We get event experience. For a quest that took less than thirty minutes. Uh... yay us?

If we decide to leave and come back, we'll find he's... back in his house.


"The bridge will be finished very soon."

And he bolts for the door.


"You might want to check back later."

Okay, obviously he'll be done once we progress and hit the correct event triggers. Nothing but the sheer force of programming will get him off his ass.


: You should ask your dad, too!

Ramus leaves the party for a bit to face the futile task of convincing his dad. We'll follow his advice, but first let's go pry into his family affairs.



"And now he's talking about leaving for far-off Meribia! Alex, can you knock some sense into him? I can't!"

You would think even this guy knows it's kind of stupid to ask Alex of all people to tell someone to stop chasing his unrealistic goals, but guess not. But obviously Ramus is getting nowhere with his dad, so let's go and see if Alex's parents are a bit more reasonable.


"“I suppose that all boys are adventurers at heart… I won’t stand in your way. Let me write you a letter that may help you get a boat to take you from Saith. Don’t worry about your mother, ...I’ll handle her. All I ask is that you promise me never to settle for less than everything you ever dreamt of achieving."

He's even so supportive to write us a letter. I'm not sure why we'd need a letter to get on a boat unless this universe does actually restrict travel to under-age individuals. That'd be a JRPG first.

So dad was pretty cool with the whole adventure thing. Let's see what mom thinks.


"You're still too young my dear little baby..."

So at this point we get a choice; we can lie to her and say we're totally going to stay, or tell her that no matter what we're going on this adventure. Of course we're choosing the second option because why would you ever lie to your mother?



Also, she gives you 500 silver if you say you're leaving. If you didn't buy that sword, you can definately do so now.

However, there's one other person who needs to say her goodbyes.


"And Luna, you keep an eye on Alex for me! I love you both so much!"
: We'll see you again soon!

Uh, I don't think Luna understands what kind of journey Alex is thinking of undertaking.


Don’t worry, we won’t be gone too long...

...yeah, I can see this being a problem.

But since our protagonist is mute and a bit of a idiot, we don't question it any further. So let's meet up with Ramus and get on the road.


"Ramus, what will I do..."

Apparently, Ramus just went "fuck you dad" and left anyway. Oh well...



You could actually leave town without him and the game doesn't force him into your party, but the bridge won't actually be fixed until you pick him up.

Before we head out, let's try one more time to perhaps reconcile father and son.


"...I'm just the hardworking father that puts food on the table and gets no respect!"

Or not. Hm. Kind of a downer.


"Grow to be a man that can defend the woman you love. Make me proud..."

That's a much better sentiment to end on.

Next time: Saith and the stupidest looking magician ever.