Part 14: Faffin' About

You can view this as a sort of Odds and Ends if you want; we won't be doing much this time. But there are still some odd townsfolk that have something to say.


I'll keep studying to get way ahead of the class! I'll do anything it takes to become the best!
: Do you smell something Alex? Phew! I don't think this kid is taking bathroom breaks!

Lunar: Keepin' it classy.


"That says Xenobia, the chief of the Vile Tribe, will come forth from the frontier!"

It's not a tumor rumor! She was just in Vane, like, five minutes ago. If Alex could talk he could give a first hand confirmation! Oh god. Did I just do that joke?

Seriously, though, this does lend credence to what we've heard about the Vile Tribe and that maybe this Magic Emperor might be responsible for their recent appearance.


"Really? I heard that the Vile Tribe was so wicked that Althena alone had the power to control them. But, she was the one that banished them!"

Although this guy goes even further to suggest that the Vile Tribe are under the Emperor's command. Xenobia didn't mention a leader, though...


"That means her orders are no longer valid! Ha! I'm getting out of this hole!"

Switching to more upbeat topics, the upswing of this incident is at least, some injustices are going to finally be righted.

He's going to let the prisoners out, right?



Cold.


"Uh, huh... yeees, oh!... You definitely have an aptitude for magic! Please, join the class!"

What is with the fucking toe jamb? What is a toe "jamb?" WHAT.

: Alex! What are you doing? I hate school! Let's get out of here right now...

All right. There's not much else to do here anyway, so let's just head to Meribia. Speaking of, we haven't checked up on Dross in a while. Assuming he's still alive.


"I heard that Dross ended up back in Reza, that town of thieves where he started."

Oh yeah, we never did go and check up on what happened to Dross. I wonder what the new owner turned the store into?




Basically into the retail version of Hooters. Gotta respect the entrepreneurial spirit.

Or I suppose I should say the retail version of Playboy. In the remake these ladies were straight-up bunny ladies. And there was more than, you know, two of them. I guess that in the original this mysterious new owner _{(I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE)} had to start smaller.

But enough about scantly clad ladies, what goodies are they selling?



Mostly crap. The first item you see is the Fire Essence, and it's just a single target attack item. The other new items are the Magic Hand (a bizarre gimmick item) and the Amulet, which apparently lowers the encounter rate when used. It's only 100 silver, but considering how wonky the encounter rate is in this game, not terribly worth it. They're also selling the Music Box which, if you recall, pretty much existed to be sold anyway. The Mirror Shield is the only thing worth buying, and it's a nice shield, but I've got far better uses for 3000 silver.

"The merchandise is of good quality" my ass.


"Hey! Enough with the goo-goo eyes you geek!"

And the clerks are mean, too

Enough of this. There are more pointless wastes of time we can talk to!


"I've been practicing magic since I was three! But, I never learned more than simple anti-belch magic. Nobody ever cared that I knew the magic to stop sneezing... It was a dumb magic to learn!"

I've always wanted to know who taught stuff like no-burp spells. Do they teach children various bodily function spells just to get them interested in magic? Man, the real world school system would be a lot more interesting they took that tack.

Although now I'm picturing a classroom full of grade-schoolers testing out their fart magic. Urgh.


"It seems like the one thing they all have in common is that they can sing well. I can't understand why anyone would do something like this..."

Huh. I'm thinking that missing girl in Lann didn't disappear of her own free will. Nor is she the only one...



But of course she's still here.

Well I'm bored. So let's go check up on our favorite frightening wild-eyed beastman.


"She wanted to be a priestess, but now she's back... that girl..."

By which of course I mean Jessica. Yay!


"Her beauty surpasses even the sunset over pale blue water... hhooohhhh...."

...okay buddy, that might be a bit much.

Although... he's not the only one with an unhealthy obsession.



"...maybe if I get a nose job... hmmmm..."

Why is it that every RPG has to have at least one worthless asshole who slavishly obsesses over a playable female character?

...let's just go meet up with everyone.


"Please come upstairs. Everyone's waiting."

So we get to explore the uncharted territory of the second floor.


"...wait! Someone's coming! ...Nevermind..."

_{Chest was a Thunder Essence. Booo-ring.}

So these two are interesting. If you talk to one of them, they move to another corner. But they both have two very different things to say. The man keeps trying to confess his love to the lady Mary as you continually cock-block him. At the final corner he finally breaks down and yells his love for her and all that. It's boring. But if you talk to the lady...


"Maybe we can get together sometime..."


"Wait... someone's coming!"


"Oh no! ...someone's coming!"


"We speak each other's unspoken thoughts, my love. I know you feel the same! Stay with me forever Alex!"

: Uh, two words Alex: Fatal. Attraction.

Surprisingly, the man will still go through his whole spiel even after you talk to her. Either he's hard of hearing or quite dumb.

Some of you may have noticed we passed a door during out walkabout. Where does it lead?



To the sewers. Of course. Because the mayor of Meribia needs to have sewer access in his house.  What's weirder than the mansion having a pathway to the sewer is that the sequel managed to make that a plot point. Not kidding. 

Although, he's just storing his treasure here.



I don't think he'll miss it. All it's good for is selling for cash anyway.

And if you're observant, you'll have noticed that, yes, there are three red locked chests in this mansion alone, plus one more I didn't screenshot. It makes sense considering that these are treasure chests in his house and all that, but one would think he'd be a bit more thorough in making sure they were all locked.

Speaking of observant, anyone remember the strange man we spotted in the sewers and couldn't talk to? Do also you remember the gambler named Brett who won the Sea Chart from the comically inept captain?


"You look like the lucky type. Maybe you can break my 20 year winning streak!"

Because here he is. And he's challenging us to a game of chance. And he's in the sewer passage that you can only reach from Mel's mansion.

Don't... think about it too hard.



Anyway, he challenges us to a game of blackjack. You can bet anywhere from ten silver to a hundred, which still isn't much, honestly. You'll be surprised to hear that Brett does not cheat at this and can you win against him, even though I had a hell of a time winning any games. Well, that's not quite true. If you quit while you're ahead he'll challenge you to one last game.



And he'll always deal himself a blackjack. Bastard. You can refuse the final match, though; he just calls you a pussy if you do.

Fun fact: I learned how you play black jack from this game. Who says video games don't corrupt youth?

Sadly, this mini-game does not exist in the remake. (And Brett doesn't show up here, obviously).




The Diamond Ring is, again, just for selling, but the Fire Cane is a nice find. As I've stated before, it casts Flamer in battle. While Flamer is highly outdated at this point, it's a nice weapon to give to a mage who needs something to do in-between spells. Wonder who that could apply to... The rest of the treasure is just a Starlight, Jasmine, and a Magic Hands.

In any case, our magical sewer adventure is over, so let's check up on the whole reason we came back to Meribia.


: He's sitting over there. He can be a formidable foe, but he's a true friend with a heart of gold...

While it seems weird that he's introducing Mel now, keep in mind that this is the first time meeting Mel is mandatory.


: Alex, the fire I see in yer eyes takes me back to my days with Dyne... I think it was his eye for adventure that got us in so much trouble.. ho, ho, ho!

Indeed, terrifying version of Santa. Indeed. Say, wasn't there a... thing that happened in Vane we should be concerned about?

: I can't believe that a sorceress like Lemia could be defeated by Xenobia! We have ta do something!

Indeed we do. But instead of actually discussing what we can do...

: Have ya met my daughter, Jessica, over there? She's such an angel...

We can just make more pleasant formalities. I'm starting to think they still don't take Alex seriously.



Hi Jess- oh wait. She wasn't actually supposed to be there in Lann...

: ...ahhh, ahem! Excuse me, my throat's a bit sore... Is this your first trip to Meribia? How do you do? My full name is Jessica Alkirk. I'm happy to have met you, Alex and Nall... You must be tired. Please make yourselves at home.

So she "officially" doesn't know us. If nothing else, this intro certainly is different than, "my boyfriend pissed me off. Let's go beat up some asshole!"

: That was quite a mess in Vane! Thanks for helping my friend Mia... but, I wonder what happened to Lemia afterwards? I'm so confused... my head hurts...

Damn she's good.


: The boat for Saith leave in the morn'...

In any case, we can sort out this wacky situation later, I think.



But in the night, Alex has a strange dream...