Part 19: Oh God Let It End

Anyway, we just got a lead on how to enter the Red Dragon Cave from Laike of all people, so let's follow that up. The collector who Laike mentioned is actually the man who had the stat-boosting nut, so let's go visit him again.


"Well, you need the spirit of the rain cloud to get there. I know I've got it... around here... somewhere! But... where is it? Oh fiddlesticks!"

Spirit of the rain cloud... you mean like a Rain Cloud?



Ah yes, we have seen it before. You can actually buy before anyone tells you to (and I... kinda did). Otherwise, you'll have to make a trip back eventually.

So... there's that. And we still haven't solved the problem of how to get to the cave. Or Damon's Spire for that matter.


"There's an inventor in the town of Iluk who's working on a flying machine... If you can use it, you can fly to Damon's Spire. Why don't you go see him?"

Oh riiiiight. Thank you incredibly helpful NPC!

A note on the next sequence of events; in the remake, more or less the same thing happens, but the order is shuffled about. In the remake you don't talk to the inventor about the flying machine until after you've been to Damon's Tower. Remember, in that version Damon's Tower is actually on land, and in the other versions the balloon is for traveling to the Dragon Cave.


"But... can you do me a itty-bitty favor? To the east of here, there's a peninsula where monsters roam the sands. These monsters have sinewy vines that I need to finish my balloon. Will you get some for me?"

Of course you can't get something for nothing. This is, in my opinion, the worst part of this entire game. Not because it's especially obtuse or difficult, but because it is just plain awful and lazy on the developers' part.

So what does this excursion involve? Well, first, do you remember the sandworm desert? Guess where we're going?



It has a name now! And for some reason, the Sand Worms must have been eradicated by a new plague of-



Plant monsters. They are now the only enemy in this place. And unlike the Worms, they can't move. At all. While you do have to go up to attack them (they're more or less immune to magic) Alex and Kyle kill them in two hits anyway. They can do some bodacious damage to you if you do end up right next to one, but you have to practically engineer that.

So we have to kill these for their vines, right? Well, yes. But it's not guarannteed drop or anything. Nope, we're farming for random drops. Mandatory farming for random drops.

In the remake it's... marginally better. Instead of plant monsters the inventor wants "fluffy bugs." So you go to an actual dungeon (the Eastern Desert is, essentially, one giant room) to go grab one. Getting the fluffy bug is a scripted event instead of a random drop, so at least there's that in it's favor.



At least the rewards are far better than the ones from the Worms. If you're unlucky here, you'll gain a lot of levels in this section.



Holy shit Alex got a new spell! This is just an upgrade to his single target fire spell, and frankly by this point if you're going to use Alex's magic you're probably just going to use his Dragon spell anyway.



Thankfully, it actually only took me four battles to get the Root to drop.



Interestingly enough, you can in fact sell it. And get multiple Giant Roots at that. If you're really bored and hard up for money, 500 silver certainly isn't to be scoffed at. But frankly, I'd rather not deal with the tedium. Let's just turn it in and get our bitchin' flying machine.


"If you give him that root, he'll be able to finish that crazy flying machine! Do you really want that?"

Oh fuck off.


"Okay, now I can finish my work. Follow me, I'll be done in a jif..."

The inventor then walks outside and opens the gate to the balloon.


"Really? Hmmm... well, there's supposed to be a guy in Meryod that's been there. Maybe he can give you a few tips."

What?! Why couldn't you have told me this earlier?!

Sadly, by this point we're kind of honor-bound to ride this contraption, despite the subtle hints we're getting that this might not be a good idea.


"This new balloon will make travel to Damon's Spire a breeze!"
: Well, then, why do you want someone else to try it out?
"Ah... yes! I have to monitor the progress of the balloon from the ground. ...yeah, that's the ticket!"

...why can't we just blow this guy off again? The Meyrod lead is looking pretty good by now...


: I'm so excited...

But I guess it's still worth a shot. Let's go.





Well, we're off to a good start. From Iluk, we head south.



Since we've gotten some pretty strong hints that this is probably the Red Dragon Cave, we can go and-



Oh. Okay, guess we're not landing there. Well, at least we know where Damon's Spire is, and that the cave is far west from the tower. So we can start from the Spire at least.



This isn't going to end well, is it?









Of course.


: ...uh, ahem, actually... technically... you can't fly anyway... we're grounded!

Thanks Nall. Your cutting observational skills are always-

Wait a goddamn second. What the hell did any of this achieve? The only thing of importance we really learned is that there was a dude in Meryod who could help us! This entire sequence of events was entirely pointless!

In the remake, your inaugural flight actually succeeds! You get to the Red Dragon Cave without a hitch. Getting back is another story, but that's for another time. For now, all we have let is the hazy promise that someone in Meryod can help. Meyrod is northeast of Reza; as long as you just keep heading north, you'll find the town with no trouble.



In the remake, there's a small (but unusually difficult) forest you have to clear to get to Meryod. And you have to clear it twice to get back; in the remake you still don't have your Wings back yet. Remember, we're heading to Meryod to get into Damon's Spire. That's also true in the remake, and if you remember since in the remake you have to go to Damon's Spire to get permission to join the Thieves' Guild to get your Wings back to ARGH.


"Weer all famely here! So I thot I'd give ya uh neighborly warnin' 'bout that bridge over yonder. Ya see, it's rotten, so be careful thar!"

Welcome to Meryod, where the spellcheck comes to die.

Now, we're here to meet a specific person (and hopefully understand said person) but, oddly enough, there's some decent equipment in Meryod.



The armor shop has the Steel Armor, Shield, and Helmet, which are already an upgrade to the stuff we could buy in Reza. It's also expensive as hell. At least get the Steel Armor, since neither Alex nor Kyle are going to get another armor upgrade for quite a while. Getting Jessica the Steel Shield is also a really good idea. Skip the helmet and (especially) the shield for Alex, though.

However, Meryod doesn't just have an armor shop. Just across from the entrance they also have a weapon shop. Now my money total has just been demolished, but let's at least look.



Oh right. Rotten bridge and all that.



Just has to keep rubbing in, doesn't he?

Everyone goes in different directions, as soon as we regain control Alex is alone.



We can find our missing party members in any order we want, and we get slightly different dialogue if we rescue certain characters before others. Since Alex seems like the chivalrous type, let's rescue the ladies first.


"What in tarnation caused that ta happin? Oh nevermind! Point is, it's broke now... I'll fix it tamarra, ok? Remember, I'm tha best carpenta in town!"

Well, actually, we'll talk to this guy first. We do want the bridge to be fixed eventually, after all.



Anyway, Mia's the easiest to spot, as she's just south of where you started.


"Dang! She luuks delicate, but she's one strong ball uh fire!"

I like to think she responded with an actual ball of fire there. Especially since she, uh, can.


: Alex, duty calls! I think you should punch their lights out!
: Oh, thank you! That was close! Those guys were real jerks! Where's everyone else?

Not sure why you couldn't have just roasted them alive, Mia, but whatever. Although I'm not sure Alex actually did anything, as there was no sound effect or anything to indicate any blows were exchanged. Maybe Alex just glared at them really hard.

But we've got Mia back. Let's go and retrieve Jessica. She's in a house to the northwest of Mia.



And of course she's surrounded by lecherous ne'er-do-wells. Although the fact that they trapped her in a hut has made this 100% creepier.


"No need ta haul off 'n hit me like thaat! Thaat's not nice!"
: You deserved it... pervert!

Well that defuses it a bit.


: These hicks have been making passes at me! It's so creepy!
: These guys are totally obnoxious!
: Let's just get out of here... fast!

And now we've got Jessica back. Time to round up the men. And, no, they're not trapped by lecherous women. I don't think we'd ever get Kyle to leave if that were the case. No, he's exactly where you think he is.



And he's already sloshed. Over the span of... less than fifteen minutes. Dude's dedicated.

: Kyle! You've been drinking! I can't believe this, you low-down pile of mule-poop!
: Hey-hey... hic... hey there! I was jus' a li'l glass, pumpkin! Ha, ha... hic... ha!

A glass of what? Jet fuel? By the looks of this place, I wouldn't doubt it.


"I wunder why that is? Hmmmm...."

Oh yeah! There's another singer lady here. Let's go say hi.


“I wunder why I'm still here? Wanna heer me sing?”

This lady actually sings something... a bit different.



: Ahhhh! Look at this! My ears are bleeding! I'm deaf!

Pussy.

Oh! And there's one more person of interest here.


"Well, head to the south from Reza until you reach a narrow path through the mountains. That road will take you to a floating green island near the beach. If you play some beautiful music, that'll be your key. It's a bit early in the, year, but it should work okay.[sic]"

_{I just had to leave the typo in...}

This guy right here is what determines if you get to continue with the game or not. I've done a bit messing around with this sequence, and as far as I can tell you have to do all of the unnecessary bullshit for this guy to show up. Theoretically, as soon as you exit Nanza Pass you can go to the new towns in any order. For example, I could have went straight to Meyrod and broke the bridge. But this guy wouldn't be here. You still have to talk to all the right people and do all the meaningless bullshit, so, frankly, you might as well just do it in the order you're supposed to.

As well as being done in a slightly different order, these events in the remake are also more linear. Frankly, this part is the low point of the remake too, but at least it feels more purposeful.

But we have a clear goal now! Let's head to Reza to try this out!

...oh fine


: Oh Nash! Don't be such a jerk about this!




: Cute or not, I'm not following Alex across any more rotten bridges! I hate the water!

...it's like pandas in a zoo, I swear.

Now that we've got our party back together, let's go find that green island.



That's one funky lookin' island. Hm. Well, that guy said "some beautiful music" should do the trick, so-



If you just walk up and press "A" the game just uses the harp for you. Kinda disappointing.

: Wow! What is that?!! Geez Alex! That isn't an island. It's a huge sea turtle!

What





Well. Okay then. Riding a giant sea turtle. Why not?

No, no this didn't make it into the remake. Why do you ask?



Dubious form of transportation aside, we're here folks! Next time, actual gameplay!