Part 9: Fuck Art
So Ellie and Co. beat up some hair.
What is my life.
So... none of you have anything to say about this?
It's... definitely kind of weird. KIND of weird?
Okay Ellie, it's REALLY weird.
These things sure are creepy. Oh no, it saw me! Aaaah! It's coming right for us!
And now we're fighting a giant eye. Yeah why not? Why AREN'T we fighting a giant eye.
Ellie what is WITH you? What's "with" me is that my life is stupid! Okay, yes, but... you know, didn't you wanna have adventures? Well we've been having them! With peril and stuff!
Yeah, but...
I wanted to have... cool adventures. Not... not stuff that happened because every single adult in my life is a complete idiot! Well isn't that why most adventures happen anyway? I- Wait.
Holy crap. Uh, Ellie? She's right. Senia, I think you broke her.
Ha! How was THAT!?
Ant! Snap out of it! Oh no! He's hurt even worse than before! ...do you losers ever learn?
Learn what?! You just attacked him for no reason! I thought he was a monster! What? How? How could you be so stu-
Uh... Keep talking. Nevermind.
You and your stupid thoughtfulness can go to hell! Ant! Are you okay!?
That must be the one that beat up Ant. I mean, other than me. Alright! We'll get revenge for Ant! 
Is- is that a pile of arms? Am I the only one who's noticing this? Anyone? Uh.... Why fight it any more, right?
Another fight later, we get more weird stuff. There's a point to it, I promise.
What the heck is that? Think that's the thing who ate what's her face.
Elenora? Who? The girl we're rescuing. Oh. Right.
You weren't supposed to be violent! I beg you, open your heart to me! What a crazy old geezer! I know, right! What's he trying to do anywa- Oh crap! What's-her-face!!!
Give Elenora back this instant!
Come on little guy you're kind of cute I don't want to fight yo-
Ew! Yeah, nevermind. Ellie, please burn this thing to a crisp. Can do! No!
GUYS I'M STILL IN HERE
Surprisingly, this monster is actually somewhat challenging, and it's Rain Breath attack does decent damage to the whole party. Okay, "challenging" might be a bit generous, as Lena has an all-party heal spell now, and it heals for more than the enemy will damage you for. Still, "A" for effort I guess.
All right! Got it! No, my baby!
Is someone going to help me out of this thing? No?
Eventually. Think nothing of it! I'd hope you'd do the same for us. Anyway, I'm glad you manage to get out of that thing! Hey, you! Why in the world would you go and create something like this!? Oh, stuff it, short stuff! My sculptures are never supposed to be dangerous! They're not, huh? But this thing went ahead and grabbed Elenora anyway! It did what...? I refuse to believe it! I thought she was just riding around in it! Why would I do that sir? I dunno I don't get you magician types. You all do weird things sometimes. But if my dear sculpture did indeed do what you say it did, then...
My work is always made with a loving heart. Truly! A loving heart? You insist that someone was controlling it? Then who? Oh, my poor sculpture... I cannot bear to see you so reduced to such scrap! He seems genuinely concerned about this thing. Oh! Hey, you! We didn't mean to hurt you... Take this, with our apologies!
Oh, this is wonderful! So all the junk we were collecting from these fights actually has a point! Kind of.
You there, the redhead! Yes? No, not you! The useful one! You must be my model! Me... A model? Wow, I can't say I never thought about it! I mean, I guess I've always wanted to be this glamorous sort of- He means like posing for a sculpture. Oh. Right. I knew that. Quite! The ultimate motif... You're the only model I can use! But... Your battle has inspired me to create something great! Please, miss!
My thoughts exactly.
We'll have to get back to you on that. For now, we should bring Elenora back to town. Yes! I've got to hurry back!
"The useful one." I'll show that crusty old fossil "useful."
Ellie and her friends saved me..
What matters is that you're okay. Great job, everyone! But I'm afraid the news is not all good.
Who wants to bet that we'll have to take care of it? That's a sucker bet, Senia. We've looked into the problem behind the sculptures. There was one with a particularly evil aura... It has a clouded soul, and we believe it to be the source of the problems. Even now, it has grown beyond our control.
So we just need to bust it up a bit, right? You'd do that? Don't see you all doing anything about it.
... Damn girl. Well then! We're counting on you! Alright! Let's hurry to the statue!
So I'm going to admit that I was basically just skimming the text at this point. I didn't realize what I was supposed to do next, and I just walked up to this statue because I wanted to examine it and now I could.
That was a mistake.
Hwahahahaha! You little girls are saying that you can break me? Don't make me laugh!
So, I had two little problems with this fight.
For one, you do very, very little damage. Poor Senia is next to useless.
For another, I forgot to regen my MP. So the one character who can actually do damage to this boss ran out of MP very quickly.
Admittedly, I do have some Star Herbs and gotten some quick MP that way. But I'd prefer to save them so- no I can't lie to you. I forgot about my items.
Instead, I had Ellie defend every alternating round or so. It only restores 5 MP per round, which isn't enough for a Flame.
This fight took for-fucking-ever.
And then it just kind of... disappears. Okay.
May I have it?! Er, yes? But... Oh, thank you! This is absolutely gorgeous! With this, I'll be able to fashion the perfect sculpture! Come now, Ellie! Time to start modeling!
Oh by the way his name is Henner.
Ellie? Are you okay? It's like she turned into a rock or something!
Oh wait that's the statue! Ha ha ha!
Oh you're right! It's such a perfect likeness I couldn't tell! You people are jerks.
It'll take a while before I'm satisfied with it. But when it's properly done, I'll make sure to show you! Please be patient! Ha ha ha! Please tell me it'll have two eyes by then. Oh yeah. And even bigger muscles! ...
Fun fact about this chapter; it doesn't exist in Magic School. Shell doesn't exist, Henner doesn't exist, and neither does Court.
You might be wondering with all the chapters that aren't in the remake, what are the remake chapters that don't exist in the original? Well, there are two chapters of Magic School that don't really exist in any form in the original, one with mermaids, and another on a ghost ship. So, spoilers, there's no mermaids or ghost ships in the version. Sorry.
Next time, there might be plot! Sort of! Maybe! Sorta kinda sort of?