Part 8: Fucking Batarians

Fucking Batarians

Doing the DLC Bring Down the Sky. A mined-out asteroid is hurtling towards Terra Nova and we have to stop it before it smashes into the planet. This always sort of amuses me due to the way they describe it. "You've got 4 hours to turn off the torches and stop its acceleration." I'm no Neil Degrasse Tyson, but I think the way space works is that since there isn't any friction just turning them off isn't actually going to do fuckall as it will continue on the same course until it smashes into the planet anyway. And then there's the planet's gravity well on top of it. I guess as long as it's going the same speed the planet will have moved out of the way by then or someone fixes it prior to impact. Also Bioware has a problem with proportion and they wanted to show off their nice skybox so it looks like it's going to smash into the planet in 10 minutes anyway.

We land to find a bunch of filthy Batarians are responsible and now we gotta kill them. If you never played ME Batarians are the galaxy's equivalent of orcs, though with a bit more brains. They are slavers and pirates and assholes generally. They used to participate in galactic politics. Then humans showed up and we started fighting over territory and so they asked the Council to intervene. Probably because of the aforementioned being assholes the Council ignored them so they pulled up their pants and went home. In our world state they are responsible for killing Shep's parents so she has a good reason to not like them personally. Their government's official title is the Hegemony. Out in the world you'll run into some cool Batarians and it's mostly their government that sucks. Think of a four-eyed version of North Korea.

You get some pretty good tech shit from this, mainly omnitools (I said amps, oops). The turrets suck and so does having to drive all over the place trying to find random crap, the torches themselves are pretty easy to spot.