Part 41: This would be funny if you hadn't fucked us all

This would be funny if you hadn't fucked us all

Wherein we wrap up Leviathan. Using Ann's brain as a GPS we go looking for the source. It's a water planet in bumfuck nowhere. During the descent the shuttle gets hit by something and we crash-land on a bigger ship that crash-landed in a flotilla of crashed ships. Not good. Then reapers show up and the party really starts. We can't take back off again and can't call for help because whoever tried to rescue us would get fucked too. Oops. The only option is to try and find Leviathan itself and get permission to leave, as it were.

In one of the more interesting setpieces in ME history, we plunge 3000m under the sea in a robo-diving suit. This section is really well done, it's claustrophobic and dark, with really only our little flares to guide us. Then we have a conversation with a giant cuttlefish about How All this Shit Happened. Billions of years ago Leviathan's species was king hell shit of the galaxy. They could naturally indoctrinate people and used every race as their own personal butlers. If they aren't aquatic creatures I feel very sorry for whoever had their latrine duty. As long as everyone remained at their beck and call things were great. But then somebody went and made an AI that started killing things, taking away their enslaved ass-wipers in the process. In response the Leviathans decided they were going to solve the problem With a fucking AI. Apparently this AI was coded by Radium and it's solution was to start killing things, beginning with their creators. Joke's on you, shitheads. Except it's on all of us too. Had the ME story continued I would have liked to have seen everyone getting together and nuking the planet from orbit as payback. At any rate we convince Leviathan that sooner or later they're gonna be fucked like everyone else and they need to let us go to put an end to it all.

I remember before ME3 launched thinking "man, if it turns out the Reapers reap because they're trying to help us in some fucked up way I'm gonna be so pissed." I about shit a brick when this DLC dropped. I don't know if the irony here is intentional, but you could make several cities' worth of skyscrapers out of it. The entire destruction of every sentient race for the past few billion years is due to laziness, vanity, and an overflow stack error. What. The. Fuck. I'm also not a huge fan of the infodump, though honestly I don't know of any other way to sum it all up so I give 'em a pass.

After doing the DLC you get a war asset that consists of squads that run around dumping artifacts in Reaper-controlled territory to turn them against each other. A neat touch and one that would have had interesting consequences had the series kept going. Because it's a DLC there's no actual traitor Reapers in game, just the points.