Part 18: Race
MEGA MAN 5 RACE Mega Man races, like the ones we did for Mega Man 4, have a long tradition of being fun as hell for all sorts of forums posters: insane speedrunners, clumsy spike-and-pit magnets, and everyone between. Race to win, race for fun, race to get loaded, but whatever, just have some fun playing Mega Man with your internet pals.
GOT BANDWIDTH/PLAYBACK ISSUES?
The race videos can get huge (well, relative to most NES footage), so click this link for lower resolution/filesize versions you can download in chunks.
ROUND 1 RACES Goal: Beat the eight robot masters in any order.
To advance: Make one of the top 12 shortest times, measured from press-start on the first robot master at the boss select screen to the final blow on the eighth robot master.
- Round 1, Group 1: Dectilon, Binjin, Diabetus, Faceguy, Studio
An old friend from MM4 makes an extended "special" appearance. He's a real whatchamacallit.
Dectilon, Binjin, Diabetus, and Faceguy take on the first 8 robot masters of MM5. Studio busts in midway through to race as well. Diabetus and Faceguy also challenged each other to an Anticipation race. There was something wrong with their copies of MM5, maybe if you're bright you'll figure it out! Ha! Jokes!!
Thanks Signal Interrupt for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, Group 2: Simply Simon, CirclMastr, Volcano Style, KingEffingFrost, A_Raving_Loon
One hand for racing, one hand for searching Deviantart.
Simply Simon, CirclMastr, Volcano Style, KingEffingFrost, and A_Raving_Loon take on the first eight robot masters. One hand pilots Mega Man, the other alternates between drinks and searches on Deviantart. Meanwhile, another close finish and multiple double-digit death counters. Big thanks to KingEffingFrost for the soundtrack!
Thanks KingEffingFrost for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, Group 3: ByteS, Netmonmatt, Taoto, Vicas, with A_Raving_Loon hosting
Taoto goes around flashing everybody. Welcome to the fun zone!
ByteS, Netmonmatt, Taoto, and Vicas take on the first eight robot masters. A_Raving_Loon hosts and Taoto provides the soundtrack and more. Much more. HEED ALL ON-SCREEN WARNINGS as you enter the Fun Zone. Seziure-prone folks, please skip from 4:56 to 7:27 and from 30:54 to 31:00. One racer notches a big win while another notches a non-cheating/non-brain-cancer-inducing win.
Thanks Taoto for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, Group 4: Little_wh0re, Phiggle, TheGreatGuy, Trizophenie, with VietTam hosting
That post-it note is beyond worthless. Do NOT fuck with Eddie.
Little_wh0re, Phiggle, TheGreatGuy, and Trizophenie take on the first eight robot masters. VietTam hosts over a hearty lunch. That post-it note is worthless! The extra content should be self-explanatory though. Meanwhile, strategic game-overing happens in spades and we learn why you always refill Eddie's toner.
Thanks Phiggle for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, Group 5: BFC, demontrigger, marioinblack, python862, Volt Catfish, with Little_wh0re "hosting"
BFC, demontrigger, marioinblack, python862, and Volt Catfish take on the first eight robot masters. Little_wh0re "hosts" and BFC provides the soundtrack. Wave Man is a BEAST.
Wave Man is a monster. Aside from that, the racers start picking up the pace.
Thanks BFC for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, Group 6: FreezingInferno, Octatonic, PinchytheLobster, VietTam, A_Raving_Loon, with KingEffingFrost hosting
Loon gets equipped with the power of rock. Will FreezingInferno make it through Ninja Gaiden 2, or will he die trying? Also where is the trash talk you guys.
FreezingInferno, Octatonic, pinchythelobster, VietTam, and A_Raving_Loon take on the first eight robot masters. Loon provides musics and KingEffingFrost hosts, although his pleas for trash talk go unanswered. Loon put this best in Charge Man's stage: "Oh, this will be whimsical." Thanks everyone else for your sanity!
Also also, Disc 2: The All-Power Stone Adventure Classic with commentary and all add-ons by Loon
A_Raving_Loon guides us through the rest of his trek through the robot masters using nothing but Power Stone and moxie. Commentary's about a minute and a half in. Please enjoy this tactical explanation and deconstruction of a mega medium.
Thanks Loon for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, Group 7: alakasam, GoldenZucchini, Greywords, Torlon
Oh, Torlon. You tried your best. Now you're not even there for all the awkward groping.
alakasam, GoldenZucchini, Greywords, and Torlon take on the first eight robot masters. Greywords provides the tracks. Torlon tries to make the best of a bad situation while the rest race ahead. I don't know why you would buy a midget-groping game either but here we are I guess.
Thanks Greywords for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, Group 8: vdate, Xenoveritas, Captain Aardvark, F. Lobot, with python862 and A_Raving_Loon hosting
Fuck Group 8, except the guys whose videos actually worked.
vdate, Xenoveritas, Captain Aardvark, and F. Lobot sort of, technically, kind of take on the first eight robot masters. A_Raving_Loon hosts with python862 who provides sounds other than the twisting and deforming metal of colliding trains that this thing deserves. There is an actual three-hour podcast version of this insanity coming whenever I stop shaking my head at this.
BONUS: The Best Audiobook Ever: Group 8 - Disc 2
A_Raving_Loon hosts this looney bin full of fantasy and intrigue. vdate, Captain Aardvark, Xenoveritas, F.Lobot, and python862 just try to keep it all together. Featuring Netmonmatt as well! An accordion rips people apart while a woman kicks a guy in half. This is what you can expect from this.
Thanks python862 for Disc 2 and the soundtrack and both him and Taoto for the additional videos!
- Round 1, Group 9: Elephantgun, Medieval Medic, T0MSERV0, x_countryguy, with BFC along for the ride, hosted by python862
A maze of twisty little impressions, all alike. Also Elephantgun has more problems, but will the first few rows get wet again?
Elephantgun, Medieval Medic, T0MSERV0, and x_countryguy take on the first eight robot masters. python862 hosts, BFC plays on the side. Thanks python862 and Elephantgun for the soundtracks. Medic entered some kind of time vortex so his video is desynced - sorry! Ramming into crystals will do that to you I guess.
Thanks python862 and Elephantgun for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, Group 10: Ephraim225, Phiggle, Taoto, Volfogg, with python862 and A_Raving_Loon hosting
hubris hubris hubris tears megadeth skype robots "SPEED TRICKS" death
Ephraim225, Phiggle, Taoto, and Volfogg take on the robot masters, with python862 and A_Raving_Loon continuing their quest to be in the most race videos. "This was supposed to be the good group!" That's just the kind of hubris you'd expect. Will Phiggle desync again? Why isn't there a seizure warning? Will Volfogg defend his silver medal?
Thanks Phiggle for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, Group 11: Charkie, Grayfawks, Mr. Swoon, Syrg, with Volfogg hosting
Charkie, Grayfawks, Mr. Swoon, and Syrg (thanks for the soundtrack!) take on the robot masters, with Volfogg hosting. I don't know what happened to Charkie's video. The less said of it the better. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll recoil in horror and shock at the results!
Thanks Syrg for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, Group 12: Admiral H. Curtiss, F. Lobot, Non-EuclideanCat, Torlon, with Simply Simon playing MM&B alongside and hosting
Can F. Lobot or Torlon overcome their former technical difficulties to barge their way into Round 2?
Admiral H. Curtiss, F. Lobot, Non-EuclideanCat, and Torlon take on the robot masters. Simply Simon hosts and bears the unpleasant task of a run of MM&B. F. Lobot and Torlon try to overcome their technical issues to make a go at Round 2, but because of his earlier run, F. Lobot's finish time has an unfortunate lower limit. Can anyone in this group get it back together after a woeful start?
Thanks Admiral H. Curtiss for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, "Group 13": BFC, python862, Torlon, Volt Catfish, with A_Raving_Loon hosting
I think maybe you chucklefucks need to learn to control yourselves. You can start with the Start button. This race doesn't count and was just for fun.
BFC, python862, Torlon, and Volt Catfish try to "redeem themselves." In no gameplay sense is this accomplished. Loon hosts and soundtracks. The ending is magnificent.
Thanks A_Raving_Loon for the soundtrack!
- Round 1, Group 14: Acrylic Squirrel, JetpackHowwy, Krumbsthumbs, with DemonTrigger, VietTam, Taoto and FighterKnuckles
Two of these racers are Mega Man 5 Mystery Machines. Watch as the speedsters are unmasked.
- Round 1, Group 15: Chip Cheezum, General Ironicus, snarkcookie, TheWanderingNewbie, feat.
DeckthehallsDectilon
32 robot masters take a speedy sleigh ride straight to hell.
Chip Cheezum, General Ironicus, snarkcookie, and TheWanderingNewbie take on the robot masters while Dectilon semi-un-retires to play along and host. Tis the season to shoot robots. Do you hear what I hear? Is it repeated grunts of horror and death, or sleighs riding ahead quickly enough to qualify?
Race soundtrack by the group's request.
- Round 1, Group 16: Shindragon, Star Man, A_Raving_Loon, BFC, Taoto
Star Man contemplates astrohomicide; Shindragon and the others ignore his cries for help to race with Super Arrow.
Shindragon and Star Man finish up Round 1. Yes, we needed a time machine to accomplish it, but the round is now over! Meanwhile, A_Raving_Loon and BFC try to beat the stages using only the best weapon in the game, with some trying harder than others. Taoto starts a journey spanning far too much time to be contained in just one video while Star Man contemplates the cool crime of astrohomicide.
Furthermore, Part 2: Adventures in Time Travel, in which Taoto finishes his goal of returning history's greatest objects via pipe-microwave.
Group 16 takes us on a time traveling adventure. Star Man phones it in while Loon provides more excellent soundtracking. Now requesting the creation of :bowserqq:
Thanks Loon for the soundtracks!
ROUND 2 RACES THAT COUNT Goal: Beat the fortress stages including final Wily.
- Round 2, Group 1: BFC, DemonTrigger, Volt Catfish, Simply Simon
Simon said it best: "Here's Some Stupid Shit: The Wily Fortress in Mega Man 5." BFC, what the hell were you doing?
Thanks DemonTrigger for the soundtrack!
- Round 2, Group 2: Krumbsthumbs, PinchytheLobster, A_Raving_Loon, Torlon, with BFC hosting
Guess the secret word! This is one of the most interesting video/audio combinations you're going to see in one of these.
Krumbsthumbs and PinchytheLobster race the fortresses to make the finals. A_Raving_Loon continues his power trip. Torlon did a thing. And BFC requests that you guess the secret word! Thanks Loon for the soundtracks and bleeps.
Also, Part 2: SON OF POWER ZONE with Power Stone-only gameplay, commentary and all add-ons by Loon. Way to go!
A_Raving_Loon rolls his way through the end of his Power Stone journey, providing both soundtrack and solid-as-a-rock gameplay. Gameplay starts at 45 seconds, non-suicidal gameplay about 8 minutes in.
Thanks A_Raving_Loon for the soundtracks and video/audio extras!
- Round 2, Group 4: Diabetus, Greywords, Phiggle, Admiral H. Curtiss
Message from Dr. Light: FUCK YOU, BITCH
Diabetus, Greywords and Phiggle race the fortress with Admiral H. Curtiss along for the ride. Soundtrack by Phiggle. The new hit documentary about Mega Man has a funny title, and this whole video has a funny smell. Sorry about Toad Man you guys.
Phiggle and co. did the soundtrack for this one! Enjoy it!
- Round 2, Group 5: Charkie, JetpackHowwy, Volfogg, Everyone, with BFC hosting
This group apologized to me even more than usual! Watch as BFC brings all your favorite racers/non-racers/hobos off the street into the call and Charkie reveals the secret, shocking ending to his romhack.
Charkie, JetpackHowwy and Volfogg race the fortresses while BFC invites everyone on the planet to fill the fourth slot. Loon adds the soundtrack. (Maniac? Excellent and fitting choice.) Charkie reveals the secret, utterly predictable, perfectly sane and not-imaginary ending of his romhack.
Soundtrack by A_Raving_Loon (thanks for being a soundtracking MVP)
- Round 2, Group 3, sort of: T0MSERV0 and a Finals Preview
Group 3 was very broken, so instead enjoy all four of the finalist's Round 2 runs side by side. Your apologies did not fall on deaf ears, guys.
T0MSERV0 was in Round 2 Group 3 but then certain unpleasant events happened. This video explains it all and lets you know what you can expect in the finals!
- Round 2, Bonus 1: A_Raving_Loon, Krumbsthumbs, python862, Taoto - PART 1 and PART 2
Remember how python862 was the only guy who properly surrendered in Round 1? That was then, this is now, now is madness. This is not paradise no matter what Light and Wily say.
A_Raving_Loon, Krumbsthumbs, python862 and Taoto give us our first impaired escapades through the fortresses. In this episode, Part 1, we see who shares the blame for there being a part 2. This is NOT paradise.
Part 2: A_Raving_Loon, Krumbsthumbs, python862 and Taoto give us our first impaired escapades through the fortresses. In this episode, Part 2, we find out who will finish first/finish at all - will python862 finally redeem himself by completing the game, and if not, how many times will he get lapped by other racers finishing other things? Sorry for the lack of death counters but three hours of drunkeness can take a lot outof you. Death counts can be an exercise for the thread!
Thanks Taoto for the soundtracks!
- Round 2, Bonus Alpha: A_Raving_Loon, Elephantgun, KingEffingFrost, Torlon, with python862 hosting
9 out of 10 mothers agree: you should have shot that fucking turkey.
A_Raving_Loon, Elephantgun, KingEffingFrost and Torlon drunkenly bluff their way through fortresses and share stories of personal injury and regret. python862 hosts and Frost soundtracks. No one is safe from the wrath of turkeys.
Thanks KingEffingFrost for the soundtrack!
- Round 2, Bonus 2: Charkie, goldjas, Grayfawks, UZworm - Part 1 and Part 2, with BFC hosting
Our drunkest/sloppiest/giggly-est crew yet. Will someone beat the fortresses before UZworm beats the first level? Note: this is a legitimate question.
The final bonus drunkrace of the fortresses, featuring Charkie, goldjas, Grayfawks, and UZworm. BFC hosts without incident which is pretty remarkable actually. Grayfawks and UZworm provide sounds, Charkie provides abominable Brightmen. Will UZworm actually complete the first level before a wasted competitor finishes the game?
Part 2: The final bonus drunkrace of the fortresses, featuring Charkie, goldjas, Grayfawks, and UZworm. BFC hosts without incident which is pretty remarkable actually. Grayfawks and UZworm provide sounds, Charkie provides abominable Brightmen. This was around the time that players started clicking out of their game/using save states and causing awful desync, so enjoy that!
Thanks Grayfawks (with UZworm) for the soundtrack!
THE FINAL ROUND Goal: Beat the whole game, no Mega Buster ever. One M-tank only. Pellets only allowed if (a) all weapons (including Super Arrow) depleted and Rush armed, or (b) Beat earned and armed.
- Final Round: Krumbsthumbs, T0MSERV0, Volfogg, Diabetus
Hosted and soundtracked by A_Raving_Loon
Hubris, loud noises, and another photo finish. Mega Man at its highest, not just because of that sweet sweet E.
Krumbsthumbs, T0MSERV0, Volfogg and Diabetus race all of Mega Man 5 with dumb rules. A_Raving_Loon hosts and soundtracks. Rules: one M-tank only, no Mega Buster ever, pellets only allowed when (a) out of all weapons or (b) after Beat is earned, never question why you would do this to yourself. *Great* work, racers. Kudos.
Final Round Appendix: Stage-By-Stage Comparisons
Watch each of the finalist's runs with the starts of stages synced up, so you can see whose pro speed tricks were the most pro of all.
Krumbsthumbs, T0MSERV0, Volfogg and Diabetus raced all of Mega Man 5 with dumb rules. This video is the appendix to the real one, where you can hear them talk. Here, you can watch their pro strategies in glorious isolation, stage by stage. Revel in it.
ROUND 1 STANDINGS
KEY TO STATS:
Lives (L), e-tanks (E), m-tank (M), Beat? Y/N
0:23:21.200 Diabetus ......| L9 | E1 | M1 | N
0:23:21.333 T0MSERV0 ......| L6 | E2 | M1 | N
0:24:31 Krumbsthumbs ......| L6 | E3 | M1 | N
0:24:45 Phiggle ...........| L3 | E0 | M0 | Y
0:26:19 PinchytheLobster ..| L5 | E2 | M1 | N
0:27:35 Charkie ...........| L6 | E1 | M1 | N
0:28:24 Volfogg ...........| L9 | E2 | M1 | Y
0:28:43 Volt Catfish ......| L8 | E0 | M0 | N
0:29:44 BFC ...............| L9 | E0 | M0 | N
0:30:04 DemonTrigger ......| L6 | E2 | M1 | N
0:30:12 Greywords .........| L6 | E1 | M1 | Y
0:30:20 JetpackHowwy ......| L4 | E0 | M1 | N
============= ROUND 2 CUT LINE ==============
0:22:03 Dectilon (dropout).| L5 | E1 | M1 | Y
0:30:27 Taoto .............| L7 | E0 | M1 | Y
0:30:54 FreezingInferno ...| L7 | E0 | M0 | N
0:31:45 snarkcookie .......| L2 | E0 | M0 | N
0:32:38 Chip Cheezum ......| L5 | E1 | M0 | N
0:33:04 KingEffingFrost ...| L3 | E0 | M0 | Y
0:33:13 Simply Simon ......| L6 | E1 | M1 | N
0:34:03 Ephraim225 ........| L1 | E1 | M1 | N
0:34:15 alakasam ..........| L3 | E3 | M1 | N
0:34:47.5 Grayfawks .......| L4 | E3 | M1 | N
0:34:47.8 Acrylic Squirrel | L8 | E2 | M1 | N
0:35:41 GoldenZucchini ....| L8 | E2 | M1 | Y
0:36:04 marioinblack ......| L2 | E1 | M1 | Y
0:36:11 TheWanderingNewbie | L7 | E0 | M1 | N
0:36:28 VietTam ...........| L0 | E1 | M0 | N
0:37:03 Faceguy ...........| L7 | E2 | M0 | Y
0:37:07 Star Man ..........| L2 | E2 | M1 | Y
0:37:10 Octatonic .........| L8 | E1 | M0 | N
0:37:54 General Ironicus ..| L7 | E0 | M0 | N
0:38:13 Vicas .............| L7 | E1 | M1 | N
0:38:32 Medieval Medic ....| L3 | E1 | M1 | N
0:40:01 Torlon* ...........| L2 | E2 | M1 | Y
0:40:09 A_Raving_Loon .....| L8 | E1 | M1 | Y
0:41:19 Admiral H. Curtiss | L6 | E2 | M1 | N
0:42:46 Mr. Swoon .........| L5 | E0 | M0 | N
0:47:29 x_countryguy ......| L2 | E1 | M1 | N
0:47:50 Non-EuclideanCat ..| L6 | E0 | M1 | N
0:48:17 Netmonmatt ........| L4 | E0 | M1 | Y
0:49:43 TheGreatGuy .......| L2 | E1 | M1 | N
0:50:21 Little_wh0re ......| L4 | E0 | M1 | N
0:53:53 Trizophenie .......| L3 | E0 | M1 | N
0:54:30 ByteS .............| L1 | E1 | M0 | N
0:55:22 Studio ............| L2 | E1 | M1 | N
0:56:03 Shindragon ........| L1 | E1 | M0 | N
0:57:41 vdate .............| L5 | E0 | M1 | N
0:58:45 Binjin ............| L1 | E2 | M1 | N
1:08:21 Elephantgun .......| L0 | E0 | M0 | N
1:15:39 Xenoveritas .......| L0 | E0 | M0 | N
1:24:49 Syrg ..............| L3 | E3 | M1 | N
1:43:54 CirclMastr ........| L5 | E2 | M1 | N
> 3 hrs F. Lobot (redemption run: 35:50 101N)
-:--:-- Torlon (crashed) .... 7 robot masters
-:--:-- python862 ........... 3 robot masters
-:--:-- Volcano Style ....... 0 robot masters
?:??:?? Captain Aardvark ..(recording failed)
??????? A_Raving_Loon (infinite Power Stone!)
"30:51" Taoto (infinite ammo + Gravity Hold!)
ROUND 2 STANDINGS
--------QUALIFIERS--------
0:22:38 Krumbsthumbs......
0:23:31 T0MSERV0..........
0:24:06 Volfogg...........
0:25:02 Diabetus..........
==== FINALS CUT LINE =====
0:27:39 DemonTrigger......
0:28:14 PinchytheLobster..
0:28:26 Phiggle...........
0:31:17 Volt Catfish......
0:40:34 Greywords.........
0:53:58 JetpackHowwy......
"50:49" BFC (DQ - used unearned Beat)
-:--:-- Charkie (sober, surrendered)
==========================
--- ROUND 2 WILD CARDS ---
0:40:31 Simply Simon......
1:08:52 Admiral H. Curtiss
1:12:59 A_Raving_Loon (all Power Stone)
1:32:22 Charkie (drunk)
-:--:-- Torlon (no video for Group 2)
THE FINAL RESULTS!!
46:22 T0MSERV0......
49:15 Diabetus......
49:17 Krumbsthumbs..
49:30 Volfogg.......
BEHOLD THIS RACE FANART
For Group 8's podcast novel, Acrylic Squirrel drew up Kraid, the Goon Sultan:
