Part 30: Metal Gear 2 Part Eleven: Plot Bridge

Metal Gear 2 Part Eleven: Plot Bridge

Last time, on Metal Gear 2, Petrovich went to pee and Natasha told Snake about her life story for the rest of the update.


Now, the rest of our journey through the sewer.


Why is there so much of this hallway? What does it accomplish, design-wise?


And then, another elevator! What's the deal with all these elevators to the sewer?


Anyway, back to ground level.


Back on the ground, we're treated to this exciting grey cliff and little elevator bunker. Who builds a special structure outside of the building just for an elevator to a sewer?




Crates and trucks! We're almost there!


Snake can pop into this truck, which is full of mines. Uses for mines in this game include killing Running Man and jack shit, so there's not much point to picking them up.


I don't know if it's triggered by going into the truck, but there's also a minefield outside the truck, so those mines inside are extra pointless.


Anyway, here's our destination.


Solid Snake's got my back on explaining this one.


Natasha says only one person can cross at a time. Looks like a sturdy metal bridge to me, but what can ya do?

: I go first. I'm getting on in years. And no one will care if anything happens to me.

Petrovich knows that he's not important.




So the scientist starts across the bridge, looks at Snake and Natasha in the middle, then announces it's safe from the other side. Was anyone actually worried about that? Did we send Petrovich across by himself just in case there was a landmine in the middle of the bridge or something?



Anyway, Natasha starts across, but Snake is too busy taking in the scenic view of her ass to follow quickly. Or something. I don't know why he's not following closer.


Then BAM! The bridge explodes!


Natasha's corpse is somehow thrown all the way back across the gorge, intact, despite being directly in the path of the explosion.

By the way, look at Petrovich there. Just standin' around with his hands in his pockets like an explosion ain't no thing.


Snake, on the other hand, is freaking the fuck out. This is a trained killer who's killed, like, four dozen men since he got to Zanzibar Land, screaming over a woman he met an hour ago, tops.


Finally, it is death speech time!

And death speech music time, too:




: ...Ah, me.

An auspicious start!

: Me, I could only walk over ice. Never tried with both my feet to stamp on the ground firmly. I only skated...I never walked.

This is dumb as hell. You are bad at metaphors.

: Natasha? Oh god, not yet, not yet...
: No more...I've seen deaths...of many. How far I've gone now...anyone can guess.

What?

: ...Pity. After I've met such a nice guy...
: I wanted to see you skating again...

Gettin' laid and watching figure skating. Those are Snake's main interests.

: T-Thank you...this is...a card to open a door. And...the brooch...use it to... ...Ah, I'm no longer...


Natasha Markova: used to be Frank.


Look at this. Petrovich wants us to pay attention to him again. Needy bastard.




Zanzibar guards have taken our scientist! Shit! That was our entire party, assholes!


Even worse, they stole the entire other side of the gap! I guess we're really fucked now, aren't we?


Oh, nevermind, I guess it was just that the MSX couldn't handle drawing Metal Gear's legs walking into the shot.


Yes indeed, Metal Gear has come into the scene.


Or, uh, maybe Grey Fox just got some new duds. I've heard the guy is into having a robot body.


And it's back to the talking void, where Snake has to really think about Fox's name. He has to taste it, you know.

: I won't let you cross this bridge!!

You already blew up the bridge, asshole.

: I'm taking Petrovich with me.

Nothing I can do about that, either. I don't really care anyway, he's caused more problems than he's solved.

: We were once friends...I'll let you go this time. Go back to your country at once! Hahahah...

I'm sure this won't go wrong for Fox in any way.


That's the spirit, Snake. Definitely don't call command and request extraction and an airstrike on Zanzibar Land. I'm pretty sure they'd deem Marv an acceptable loss for destroying Metal Gear and the world's only nuclear power.


Whatever, though. Now it's time to stand on Natasha's dead-ass corpse and use the radio.

: An enemy can find you by sight or hearing. Wind may carry it astounding distances. It's important you act without noise. ...Over.

That whole thing about wind is horseshit. Noise carries exactly one screen. Campbell doesn't know shit about anything.


Now that we've used the radio, Natasha's body has disappeared into the ether. Oh well.


Going back to the south, Holly calls! I guess she's a big balcony fan or something. Not really a good time for the tourist guide to Zanzibar Land, though.

: From there you can fly over the crevice using a hang-glider. I saw one on a Thanksgiving festival some time ago. It's in the east part of Zanzibar Building's first floor...bye.

So Snake's just going to glide across? And we have to go back to the Zanzibar Building a fourth time? And Zanzibarians celebrate Thanksgiving?

I have so many questions. Maybe some of them will be answered next time, on Metal Gear 2.

 Not fucking likely.