Part 60: Special Missions - Metal Gear GENERIC!

Special Missions - Session 12: Metal Gear GENERIC!


A wild Stage 12 approaches! Here we fought Metal Gear GANDER and err... That was about it. Well, I guess we'd best get to it.




Duel (Metal Gear Solid)

Stage 12 - Mission 1!


"Blow up Metal Gear's legs within 250 seconds. Listening to the General ramble for five times that length is an optional part of the experience and not a component of this trial."


Four minutes and change is a pretty tight timeframe to take out Metal Gear. Especially since you piss away over 30 seconds just running down the hangar to start the fight.


The biggest pain in the ass difference with the regular version of the battle is the fact that you're forced to blow off Metal Gear's legs with Landmines. Unlike C4, mines will explode if anything gets near them. This includes Snake. So if Snake plants a mine while the thing's foot is coming down? He gets blown the fuck up. If Snake accidentally plants a mine in front of himself and then runs into it because it's a bloody auto-scrolling level? He gets blown the fuck up. It's a pain in the ass to use for this fight and wastes time since you're unable to lead the foot dropping as easily since...well...you get blown the fuck up if you linger near the mine you place.


There's no real strategy to the second half of the fight other than getting damn good at firing rockets and going for ammo pick ups. And hope the wonky attack triggering isn't too much of a time eating bastard.



Stage 12 - Mission 2!


"Ugh. Do I HAVE to start at the far end of the hangar? That's like 100 meters right there!"
"Did Solid Snake have to start at the other end of the hangar...?"
"...Yes."
"Then you have your answer."


This stage is NOT made for one of the stupid meter dash trails. As mentioned, you pretty much piss away 100 meters before even beginning. And then you've got an auto-scrolling stage where you need to run constantly for the entire duration. And then a proper boss battle in which there isn't nearly enough ammo to go around so the rest of the fight is spent waiting for ammo spawns and trying to spend as few pixels as possible dodging jerkass missiles.

This was not a fun mission. At all. I'll take planting a miniature bomb in my dick that explodes if I loiter about any day over this shit...




"It looks as though Parker was aware of the possibility that the 'General' would betray Project Babel; they just went right ahead, using each other. The 'General' was doing a top-notch job. He fanned the flames of the minority identity movement for the Gindran Boias group with seemingly authentic ideology, and organized the GLF into a force to reckoned with - and all of this in spite of the fact that he is neither a Boian, nor even, as a matter of fact, of Gindran birth."
"We are pretty sure he wasn't even African. He was just Hollywood vaguely ethnic enough to be propped up and made to play the role."


"But even he failed to best Solid Snake. We expect you not to repeat that mistake."



Stage 12 - Mission 3!


"Wasn't that how Snake took out its legs in the first place?"
"Indeed."
"So why did you give me second rate landmines for the last two missions?"
"You are to go above and beyond the call of duty. To surpass even Solid Snake. But... we still need to know you can perform the same tasks he did. So, here we are. Get that detonator ready..."


Yeah, so we only need to do the first phase of the fight with the much easier choice of weapon. They really did blow their creative load with the Donkey Kong mission...




"Do you suspect us of using you? We don't deny it. But you're using us too, aren't you? Quid pro quo..."