Part 72: Snake Tales: External Gazer (Chapter 11) - Tactical Copy and Paste Action
Snake Tales: External Gazer (Chapter 11) - Tactical Copy and Paste Action
Arsenal's Guts
I was enveloped in an overpoweringly bright light. The next moment, I was thrown into a huge space with a mysteriously lit floor surface. I could hear Otacon's voice.
"Snake! Snake!! Are you okay?!"I shook my head to clear a mild headache. It felt like I'd been dreaming for a long time.
"I've completely retaken control of the VR system from Solidus!"
"That's good. So where's the singularity...?" "I've found it! It's there! You're in the singularity! Now we can start returning the universe to normal!"Just then, I felt something huge closing in from the front. A Metal Gear RAY emerged from the darkness. Then a second one, then more, right after the others.
"It's Solidus' final attempt to stop us! I need a little more time to finish things on my end. Just hold on for a little bit!"The Metal Gear RAY units closed in. I squared off against them. I'd have to fight until Otacon finished his work.
Father and Son
Snake is now thrown into battle against Metal Gear RAY. All the Metal Gear RAYs. They were on special if you bought in bulk and Solidus was ALL over that deal. Metal Gears are described as a walking tank that can shoot nukes. Except RAYs. They are too cool for the whole nuclear weapons platform thing since it would mess with their sleek design. User functionality be damned. They're like Apple made Metal Gears. Instead of nukes, they fire machine guns from their shoulder-arm...wing...things. Since where better to put a machine gun?
They also feature stylish backpacks that fire short range homing missiles in trios. I think three is a number everyone can get behind.
Lastly, their mouths are equipped with the most advanced Super Soaker technology that science has ever conceived. It may look like a generic laser cannon. But rest assured, it is made entirely of highly concentrated H20 sucked from the purest of North American reservoirs.
Despite Solidus' intentions of annihilating Snake with an army of digital Metal Gears, he's still a sporting power suit wearing ex-US President. As such, he has kindly spawned a Stinger missile launcher and a regular supply of rockets for Snake to defend himself with against the RAY horde.
As it turns out, Metal Gear RAYs have the knees of the giant robot equivalent of a 70 year old man. A single rocket will make them recoil in the digital robotic equivalent of pain and roar in protest. At which point their fatal flaw, the Super Soaker Cannon, will be exposed for a follow-up rocket volley. Just firing a rocket when said Super Soaker Cannon is employed is also an option. But there is a much greater chance of Snake getting very wet and that is ill advised in a digital simulation environment.
After enough rockets are rudely tossed at the kneecaps and squirt gun nozzles of the Metal Gears, one of the mass produced units will jump onto the platform in protest so as to take the fight to Snake. This really doesn't change their tactics other than gaining the ability to stomp on Snake should he idle too close to them (they are VERY territorial giant robots) They can now also fire rockets out of their knees. This may be the reason they crumple violently and spray grape jam all over when shot in the legs... But I'm no giant robot engineer.
After taking a sufficient amount of damage, the RAY dancing around on stage will lumber off in a rather dejected march into the distance. Snake isn't actually allowed to destroy any of the Metal Gear RAY units. They things are VERY expensive, even with the bulk sale price. Solidus would be very cross if we broke them. But never to fear...
Once a single RAY is defeated and flees the battlefield, another of its brethren will take up its place. I'm sure the final battle consisting of "the hero vs. like 25 Metal Gears" sounded good on paper. But really, it's just like a boss rush. Except when you beat that boss...
...the same boss pops up again...
...and again...
....and again, and again, and again. And there's no difference between the lot of them. They just have a slightly different code name designation on the HUD. That's it. But no variation in attack strength. Or speed. Or HP. Or even a token palette swap to differentiate between them. Just one Metal Gear after another after another...
...after another...after another...after ANOTHER...after ANOTHER...after ANOOOOOOTTTTHHHHEEEERRR until Snake feels like he has been battling Metal Gears since the very dawn of time and prays for the day he can just fight a single giant robot that simply has a respectable amount of HP for a solitary, slightly lengthy battle instead of an unending march of copy and pasted Metal Gear RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--
Arsenal's Guts
When I came to, I once again found myself in what Solidus had called the gap between the parallel universes. I heard Otacon's happy voice from somewhere.
"Snake! We did it! Everything went perfectly on my end! Space has begun to repair itself!" "Exactly like it was before?" "Should be. You should be pulled into our universe soon. But it looks like the repairs are occurring sequentially. It could be some time before everything goes back to normal..."
"SNAKE!!" 
There was a flash of light, and when I opened my eyes I found myself standing atop the destroyed Federal Hall along with Solidus. Solidus drew his swords.
"Just stop! It's over. The universe is repairing itself." "No, it's not over. If I manage to kill you here, at least one universe where I survive will be made definite!" "Stop it! There has to be another way! I'm returning to my universe. I have no intention of interfering with yours. There's no reason for us to fight!!"But Solidus merely laughed at my words, readying his swords. He fixed me with a piercing, menacing stare.
"Enough talk! FIGHT ME!!"