Part 31

God of Thunder vs. Manta RAY
---

We're not through this yet.

Nice lo-poly M4 you've got there, bud.

Blue and Grey. The new Pipe.

NINJA

"Your kung fu's through!" -Duke

Oh you did not just raise your blade at Solid Snake.

My new wallpaper.

It's game time.

WACHAW

HEY stop shooting guys before I can cut them! <>

HEEBLEU

"BWARGLE" -Leovinus

Hey what the fuck? Fission Mailed? Please be UPS, I can't stand that godamned FedEx arrow.

Whew, back in business.

AGAIN

Blood of a Thousand.

Footsteps?!

We're screwed.

Uh, need some Kleenex? Also, since when do tears stain skin like that?

Man, you guys do a shit job at research. "Snake killed my father!" this and "Snake stole my sandwich" that. Yikes. What a bunch of whiners.

Crawling in your skin?

Looks like you need some .50 caliber asperin. (or did I already use that joke?)

Crikey.

"Our special today is Solid Snake grilled to perfection with a side plate of Depleted Uranium Round salad..."

Haha, I need to fit that into my regular speech from now on.

(I just think this pic is cool)

"I'll just walk up to her and pimp slap her in the face. Simple when you think about it."

RAAAAHHh.

Raiden makes his way up the ladder...

Where's this place?

Fun Thing: There's words along the sides of the lines that say "ARSENAL GEAR - RECTUM".

"Now my rocket launcher is covered IN SHIT."

S3? Sonic 3? Super Superior Subjegation? Sniper Snipes Superman? WHAT IS IT

I DONT KNOW THIS SCRIPT IS WRITTEN ON THE BACK OF A SALTINE CRACKER IN MAGIC MARKER OH GOD THERES SALT EVERYWHERE

Solidus babbles on for a bit here, so here's a humorous picture of Raiden while I explain things!

"It came as a complete surprise when Ocelot discovered the S3 data from GW. Not a bad idea, though. Using fire to fight fire, creating the perfect assassin to retire Solid Snake's brother.

S3 stands for Solid Snake Simulation...The result is a FOXHOUND commando shaped by VR regimen when FOXHOUND no longer exists. Sound like someone you know, Jack?

I'm sorry to see you reduced to one of the Patriots' puppets. But I've made use of you an their plan, too.

Solid Snake's sudden appearance, your arrival, it was obvious the Patriots were among my ranks. I had to smoke out the agent before the mission entered the final phase. You came in handy as bait.

Those days during the civil war...

Those were as real as they come. Every day was absolute, split between life and death. You ran from it. And now, you've been led back to war by something less than real."

SOLIDUS OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE (no really, where does he come from?)

The Colonel would like to have a word with you!

METAL GEAR MAKE-YOU-SHIT-PANTS RAY

What a great opponent. FOR ME TO POOP ON.

Oh that is COLD.

OH GOD IT ROARED AT ME

Let's rock.

The music that plays during this battle is nothing short of incredible. I'll see if I can upload it.

I'm so awesome, I MAKE ROBOTS BLEED.

BREAKFAST

TWIN SNAKES DONT FAIL ME NOW

Tomatos, corn, and a LASER BEAM

FUCK RIGHT IN THE TORSO

Eat it!

Knees are no match for my stinger. *subliminal sexual messages*

I could have sworn it said "ACME" on the side. Wile E. should have just ordered that.

Whew, fighting nuclear robots is tough work...

Just...takin' a breather...

If I wasn't completely exhausted from battle I'd...I'd hit you hard!

Right before one of the RAY's crushes Raiden underfoot, OLGA OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE.

Go get 'em, girl.

Run WHERE, exactly? We're stuck in the middle of...friggin' dimensional limbo or something.

"If you die...my child dies."

"So many dead, and they all died trusting YOU!"

Well that's depressing.

"If you have a death wish..."

I hate this scene.

Oh god I already watched one cute girl die today DONT MAKE ME DO IT AGAIN

OH GOD WHY

You'll pay!

No, actually. That was quite gut wrentching. But thanks for asking!

Ooooh shit.

So basically, GW is

Solidus brings down the motherfuckin' HOUSE.

You DO NOT want to mess WITH THAT.

DAMN THEM

DEUS EX MACHINA OH PLEASE GOD

Oh this just keeps getting better.

Even as a hostage Snake is a total badass.

Solidus zaps Raiden unconcious...

And everything fades to black...

---
Will our heroes overcome the mighty opposition of both Solidus AND the Patriots? Will we ever find out just what's going on with Fortune's "luck"? Will I end this with "find out next time!"?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME!