Part 25: Conssstruction

Update 14: Conssstruction



"You know it, Em. We've got the credits if you've got the, uh, castle-buildery."



"You think you can get work done before we go see it? That sound like challenge to Fubar! Sloof, use your bacon!"
"Pardon?"
"You know, bacon spell! You put down bacon in place you want to go back to, then magic sniff it out and take you to it! Just like hunting dog!"



"Ah! Yes, I believe I am understanding you now."



"So much for the work being done. I guess we'd better wait outside for the workers to arrive."

This is a bug, albeit a harmless one. The foundations and the finished castle are stored as two separate map areas by the game, so a Lloyd's Beacon set in the foundations will always lead to the foundations, even after the castle has been built.



"Wait, what?"



"Are you telling me that in the time it took us to walk out of the castle, turn around and walk back in, Emerson managed to sneak a team of builders in and rebuild our castle?"
"I suppose it just goes to show what people are capable of when motivated with sufficiently enormous sums of money. See also: practically everything you've all achieved up to this point."



"Woo! More rocks for Fubar!"



"Our very own brand new castle comes with our very own brand new creepy statue. Okay, sure. I'm not complaining. Maybe it'll scare thieves away. I mean, thieves who aren't as brave and awesome as I am, and who don't have their own incredibly sweet castle."



"Look like builders cleaned out well too. Safe to drink now."



If we're ever having trouble with an enemy that uses physical attacks, we can now just drop by our castle for a huge AC boost.



"Aw, our dungeon's still all blocked up. We should do something about that if we can."



"Seriously, what is up with these statues? There are two more around the courtyard too, reading 'ra' and 'la'. Some kind of musical scale?"



"Let us not dwell on trivial matters. We are now the owners of a fine castle! We can be decorating it as we wish inside our own time."



"This good castle. One day, after we save world, Fubar want to settle down in place like this. Maybe find nice lady to marry, start family together."
"Are you kidding? The only way you could bring up a baby is if we fed you ipecac."
"Flench think you lucky Fubar not understand that."



"A training ground? What, are we raising our own army here now? Who put that in the plans?"
"Oh, that was Fubar. Not want to get bored when waiting inside for rain or sieges to end."

Newcastle's training ground is in fact the best one in Clouds, able to train the party up to level 20. It's not possible to train any higher than that without visiting Darkside, although there are other ways to exceed the level cap slightly.



There's also a blacksmith, but the stuff it sells doesn't seem particularly better than Rivercity's. We're relying mostly on found loot for equipment upgrades at this point anyway.



"This was Fubar's idea too. Magic food barrel! Never run out! Ask for any food you like, you get it! Roast beef, bread and butter, chocolate, anything! Except broccoli. Nobody make Fubar eat broccoli."
"You're the best, Fubar! And so's this castle! Our castle! The castle we bought, and that now belongs to us! Wheeee!"

Using these barrels fills the party's food supply up to 20 days' worth. With this, we never have to pay for food again.



Upstairs, there's a temple. We can't donate at it, but it provides healing just like any other.



"Wow, is there anything this castle doesn't have? I can even count our money in here. Oh, that reminds me, we should look at getting a swimming pool installed."

And finally, we've got a bank for easy access to our money. As you can see, we're more than comfortable financially, although we'll be spending a significant amount of that gold later this update.



"Hm. Two more notes. 'To' and 'ry'. What this mean?"
"Bo-ra-la-to-ry? What is boralatory?"
"I believe we may have found the notes out of order."



"This is so great. We seriously own our own castle! I still can't get over that."
"Try."



"Aw. Guess we're gonna have to wait a little longer to have our very own awesome dungeon. Maybe we can get a permit if we help out the right people at Castle Burlock?"



"Now, as I recall, Falagar requested our help in retrieving his stolen crystals. Even if they're not in Asp, we may be able to find useful information there."



"Oh, sure. This looks like a brilliant place to go for the latest news. Why don't we ask these vicious snake-men what's up?"

Snake Men aren't a serious threat to us at this point: they hit once a round for moderate physical damage, and have no special tricks or resistances. In fact, they're about on par with some of the stronger monsters from the Red Dwarf Mines. They carry 100 gold and have a very high chance to drop low-to-mid-level random items when killed.



"I'm not sure I'd call them snakes, exactly. They're more like reptilian abominations against nature. But that aside, we'll do whatever we can."



"Huh, how about that. I guess they really are more than meets the eye."



"Blugh, bad water. Our well much better."
"I wonder if these orbs around the well have something to do with the curse?"

As usual, the town well is unhelpful to us until we've solved Asp's problem, doing 25 poison damage to whoever drinks from it.



"Yikes! What a shocking experience!"



Touching a pedestal with a red orb does minor electrical damage and turns it blue. Touching a blue orb does damage again and turns it back to red. It's obvious we have to set the four orbs to some combination of red and blue, but what's the right combination and what purpose does it serve?



There's a "Travel Pit" to the east of the well, containing a portal mirror and some straw beds. Some of the beds in town are empty, while others contain a couple of hundred gold or an item.



"You're the most senior mage in town? You sound like you're already at least halfway to turning into a snake."



Sarah's voice actress manages to draw this line out into something even more overacted than the text suggests. I'm almost in awe.



Asp's guild has some excellent spells for both Sorcerers and Clerics.



They get pretty expensive, though, especially the clerical ones -- and remember that spells cost twice as much for Paladins and Archers.



"Is this the ultimate fate of those who spend too long in Asp? We cannot allow this to be continuing!"

Guardian Asps are stronger than Snake Men in every way: more HP, higher speed, better AC and a stronger physical attack that can cause Confusion. They're still not a major threat to the party, though.



"We've explored everywhere else already. If there's a solution to Asp's curse, it must rest beyond these sands."



"Huh? What happen? We walk forward, but... hm. Strange magic at work here."



That's right, the sands of Asp are an invisible teleporter maze. Fortunately it's a fairly small and simple one. Our goal is this room in the far north of town.



"This machine's got to have something to do with the curse..."



"And I bet these are Falagar's crystals of pie-whatsit. But the machine and the crystals both just teleport us back whenever we get too close! What now?"
"Maybe we miss something in sands?"



"Looks like you're good for something after all, Flench. It's about time we started finding some real answers."



"So that means the southwest and northeast orbs should be red, and the northwest and southeast orbs should be blue, right?"



"Easy! Now let's go see if anything's changed with that weird machine!"



"This Fubar's time to shine!"



We get 50,000 experience for smashing the machine, and once it's destroyed we can collect the Crystals of Piezoelectricity from the pedestal nearby.



"Looks like this den of vipers has been viped out."



"I wonder if the town well is safe to drink from now?"



Bonus HP is always a good thing to have: this could mean an extra round of survival against a powerful opponent, or give us a bit more staying power in a long dungeon.



"The power of lightning is at the tips of my fingers! Thank you with kindness, good Falagar!"



"Something's still bothering me: we never found Carlawna's Scarab of Imaging. If it was used to build that machine, it has to be somewhere nearby, doesn't it? Hmm..."



We're still slowly creeping up in levels, but more importantly we've picked up some very powerful spells, which I'll be covering in the next bonus update.

So, what should we do next with our newfound power? Should the party do some more outdoor exploration in search of the Scarab of Imaging, visit the breezy town of Winterkill, or try out their new Golem Stopper spell in Golem Dungeon? Vote now!