Part 60: But Is It Jangly?

Update 39: But Is It Jangly?

"Hey, if the fake King Alamar's some kind of horrible alien monster, maybe we should go exploring some more before we confront him and get mercilessly slaughtered."
"I... well, I suppose there's no harm in postponing our confrontation by a day or two."
"Aw, stop worrying. If I can disintegrate a god, I bet I can disintegrate an alien."



"A trip to the sea would be nice and peaceful, though."



"Jostiband, I think you jinxed us again."



"Whoa, that's one big mouth on that thing right there."



"All the better for shooting a disintegration beam down its throat, my dear."



"Awesome! Now, let's see what kind of treasure they had!"



"They're fish in the middle of the ocean. Don't you think searching their rapidly sinking bodies for treasure is a little optimistic?"
"Well, they coulda swallowed a sailor or something."



Pressing on across the ocean, the party came to a large, mountainous island. Thick forests lined its foothills.



"With our luck, this is another deathtrap."
"We'd better hope it's not. Jostiband's already started spinning it."



"Hey, money out of nowhere. Jostiband, it looks like you've done something right for a change."

Wondering what just happened? Well, this is the Wheel of Luck, where the party can be rewarded for slaying four creatures throughout Varn: the One by Water (the Great Sea Beast, which we just fought), the One by Land (the Dark Rider, in area A-1), the One by Air (the Winged Beast, in area D-4), and the One by Sand (the Scorpion, in area D-1). If the party spins the wheel after killing at least one beast, each member receives a randomly-selected reward. Rewards start at 4000 XP, 2000 gold or 30 gems if you kill one beast, and double for every extra beast slain. After spinning the wheel, all four beasts reappear. This is all explained in a rather cryptic way by one of those statues back in Sorpigal.



"Hey, uh, Jostiband, why did you fly us to the edge of a swamp?"
"Well, if the ocean turned out to be a monster-filled hellhole, maybe the swamp will be safe and pleasant by comparison!"
"You know what? Let's just go explore the forest instead."



"Well, nobody's attacked us yet. That's a plus. Hey, who's that guy over there?"



"I... see. Okay, I guess we'll go climb your trees for you, then."



"Why are we doing this again?"
"I dunno. Maybe he needs us to test the structural soundness of his grove."
"We're being paid for it, and that's what really matters. Besides, it can't take too long: how many trees can there possibly be in this grove?"



"Ah. I suppose we'd better get started, then."
"Hey, guys, this branch is really bending a lot. Are you sure it can support our--"



"Ow. Guess not."



Naturally, all the commotion caused by the fall attracted some hungry monsters. And somehow falling out of a damn tree was enough to halve everybody's hit points -- not that it helped the monsters any, of course.

"Hmph. Time to move on to the next tree."



"At least this one didn't collapse."



"Look, everyone! I found a whole bunch of apples growing up here!"
"I didn't know apples came in bunches."
"Maybe not, but there's probably enough here to keep us all fed for a week! Come and get 'em!"



"Well, that wasn't as much fun as the last tree."



"Dammit! What kind of tree is this and why can't we just cut it down?"
"It seems I'll have a chance to practice my curing spells again."



Well, there goes 3/4 of the party's HP.

"Oh, come on. There's not a cloud in the sky."



"Okay, everything else so far has been at least a remotely plausible consequence of climbing a tree, but this is just ridiculous. Why would climbing a tree teleport us to a random location?"
"What about that tree that cursed us? That was pretty implausible too."
"Point taken."




And there go the party's spell points.



"Well, at least that was the last of the trees. It's time to head back to Arenko Guire for our reward."



"Okay, Arenko. Most of your trees did something harmful and often distinctly un-treelike to us -- although I have to admit, those apples were delicious. Now, what gives?"
"If you'd like an explanation in lieu of your reward, that can be arranged."
"On second thoughts, I'll just take the item. Maybe it'll even be something we haven't seen before."



"Ooh, a pendant! So shiny... shiny... shiny... zzz..."
"Uh, guys? I think she's out of it. I mean, more so than usual."

The Shiny Pendant provides 30% sleep resistance and casts Hypnotise when used. It's of limited usefulness, but it sure is shiny.



"It seems like we're done with the forest for now, so perhaps we should explore the mountains."



"A cave! Score!"
"When have caves ever done anything good for us? On our visits to caves so far, we've been ambushed by monsters, dunked in acid, turned to stone, robbed of our backpacks, crushed by stalactites, attacked by an angry god, and, to add insult to injury, had our genital organs rearranged. All in all, this is not a good track record."
"Yeah, but our luck's gotta turn around sometime, right?"



"See? No traps, no monsters, and Little Drew's still where he should be."



"There's probably some devious trap behind this grate. Just you wait and see."



"A floating polyhedron! Why, that's a most devious trap indeed! So devious, in fact, that it appears to be doing us no harm whatsoever!"



"And here's another one in the next room! Oh no! Watch out: they're glowing all over us!"
"Okay, okay, you've made your point. What are we supposed to do with them?"



"All of these rooms are arranged in a big square, and there are 16 rooms in total. This reminds me of a magic square puzzle! Let's see... if we set this room to 2... and this one to 3..."



"And that should be the last one."



"Now, I bet if we pull this lever in the corner, something cool's gonna happen!"



"Jostiband, I'm impressed. When you put your mind to a task, you can be very helpful."
"And now my mind is even bigger than before, so I can use it to blow up even more stuff!"
"Oh no."



Before returning to the inn for the night, the party explored the area around Dusk. Deep within the mountains...



... they found a large statue.

"Ooh, a ride! I wanna go first!"



"Awww. You're no fun, giant talking statue."

This is where you can finally claim your reward for dealing with the prisoners in each of the six castles. Characters are only rewarded if they acted in accordance with their alignment for every single prisoner. Neutrals get it easiest, because they can just find everyone and leave them alone: other alignments have to free the co-aligned prisoners and torment the opposite-aligned prisoners. Nobody in the party acted correctly, but the reward for all that work is only around 10,000 experience points anyway.



And that's it. All that remains to be done is for the party to confront the false king and discover the secret of the Inner Sanctum. 45 updates was an overestimate: if things go smoothly, the next update may well be the last. Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of Let's Play Might & Magic I!