Part 27: Seeds! And Some Minor Ass-Kicking

_{Part 27}

Slap fight [Oct 21st, 1005|3:19 pm]

[Current Mood| productive]
[Current Music|Andrew WK - Let's Take A Nap]


First order of business: Kick a little monster ass.






So if you want to love me, then darlin' don't refrain. Or I'll just end up walkin'.
In the cold November rain. Do you need some, time on your own? Do you need some time, all alone? Everybody needs some time, on their own. Don't you know you need some time, all alone.



That was kind of out of left field.

I want to cry now.



It's been a few years since we've last seen Oakleyman. He had apparently fallen out of favor with his record label, and has been reduced to making appearances at local matches and truck shows to keep up his mint leaf habit. It's enough to almost make me feel bad about having Solid kick the crap out of him.



The two blob things circled the ring, sizing each other up. One would make a feint, the other would react. You could feel the tension in the air.



And then, Solid bitchslapped Oakleyman like he was a little girl.



How the mighty have fallen. If you're having a drink when you read this, pour a little out for Oakleyman.



Our next opponent was another Lassie clone. I see these collies all over the place. I think there's a factory churning them out somewhere in Singapore.



Solid wrapped his long, gelatinous arms around the dog's neck, and shook for a good 10 or 20 seconds. Once the dog made a very loud crunching sound, Solid dropped it unceremoniously. My monster just snapped a dog's neck and tossed it aside like a ragdoll.



The final monster saw the last match in full, gory detail. You could tell by the look on its face.



Solid was still feeling pretty pumped. He had an aura that seemed to spell out "FIGHT!"



And fight he did. After realizing that suezos don't have necks, Solid resorted knocking it unconscious with a few well-placed judo chops.



It isn't much, especially after losing my entire savings to that retarded barn upgrade, but it's a start.

You also got a prize.

GIMME!



What the hell is that?

It's a statue of Artemis. It's said that it has the power to make monsters a little less tired once a month.

We are so selling that when we get home.



You mean other than the joys of killing a monster with his bare hands?



Oh. Well, that's not bad at all. Now, let's get rid of that statue.




Some vendor dressed in black gave me a sample of these. Not really sure what I'm supposed to do with 'em.

Are you two being serious?



...THEY'RE SEEDS. Dumbass.

What am I supposed to do with seeds?

You plant them. In the ground. Things will grow from that.

I'm not following you...



Since you're such a smartypants, YOU make these seed things work.



Fine. Whatever. Just pay me for the friggin' statue so I can go home.





Probably nothing. Those seeds looked pretty dried up and rotten.

I guess we'll have to wait and see!

You know what, forget it. We have a monster to train... Uh, where did he go?

He's throwing rocks at Joy.




Holy moley, he's actually gaining decent stats now! I might have to rethink my training plan. Let's see how much stronger he'll get.




That's... rather disappointing.

What if you tried testing his speed?

Good idea. I'll pretend I thought of it.

Hey!




Interesting... Now I have no idea what to do with him.



And you folks know what that means. Considering how random his gains have been, what on Earth should I focus on building?