Part 31: Punching Out a Shark
Part 31
Sharks suck ![](1-spacer.gif)
[March 27th, 1007|
8:17 pm]
[
Current Mood|
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shocked to all heck]
[
Current Music|Wesley Willis - Norman Swoon]
Welp, it looks like we're shipping Solid off again. Colt, get to it.
![](3-colt1.gif)
One of these days, your laziness will get back at you.
But not today. Now shoo! Judge Steve Austin is almost on.
![](3-colt1.gif)
Can you take Solid Waste to do some skill training?
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I suppose so. Incidentally, where is that wastrel that usually accompanies you?
![](3-colt1.gif)
Hopefully, dying in a car fire.
![](5-sirfancy.gif)
Mm. Quite.
![](5-sirfancy.gif)
The first course in our skill training plan involves cutting a watermelon in half. Cutlery are not provided. We also confiscated your monster's combat knife. Several interns were injured in the process.
![](5-sirfancy.gif)
Without any sort of blade to aid in his quest for chopping, your monster opted for a full-out charge against the melon...
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And with positive results. After such a mighty struggle against a fruit, "Solid Waste" gained the insight to learn a new battle skill. Be proud, monster owner. Be proud.
![](5-sirfancy.gif)
The next part of the course involves leaping off a seaside cliff and onto an awaiting raft. In shark infested waters. It is at this point that I feel I should remind you that we hold no responsibility for any injury or death incurred during training.
![](5-sirfancy.gif)
Your monster passed. Moving on...
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Ah, this course is my favourite. In it, your monster must raft to shore while avoiding swarms of starving sharks.
![](5-sirfancy.gif)
Your monster... Well, your monster punched out a shark. There isn't much else that can be said about that.
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Really, my usual unflappable nature has been flapped. Never in all my years have I seen a monster punch a shark in the face like that. It was beautiful in its simplicity.
![](5-sirfancy.gif)
Unfortunately, there several more sharks left...
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And your monster's raft is not as resilient as he.
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We are uncertain of what else transpired that week, other than the fact that a large amount of shark corpses were found on a nearby beach. Regardless, your monster had not completed this course yet.
![](5-sirfancy.gif)
With no sharks left to impede him, your monster was able to cross the bay without any difficulty whatsoever. A fine point as any to end his training session with us.
He also punched out a freaking shark!
![](3-colt1.gif)
I know! That was awesome!
We should just throw out all this training crap and have people pay to watch Solid beat up fishes.
![](3-colt1.gif)
But there are animal cruelty laws.
Then why are we able to make monsters fight for our profit and amusement?
![](3-colt1.gif)
Because those are
monsters. I'm talking about animals.
Oh, right. How silly of me. Anyway, what's the new skill Solid learned?
He sure doesn't like long range attacks, does he?
![](3-colt1.gif)
Have you seen him fight?
You know I haven't.
![](3-colt1.gif)
Oh... Well, he usually sneaks up on his opponents and tries to kill them without anyone noticing. Also-
If you say it's his birthday I will punt you into the next county.
![](3-colt1.gif)
That won't be for a few more months. No, I mean it's time for the official tournaments again. Should we start sending Solid up the ranks?
Good question. I'll look into it.
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Let me know what your blog people say.
Stupid know-it-all cunt... Alrighty, dudes. Do you think Solid's ready for a tournament yet? If so, E or D rank?