Part 35: Rear Window

_{Part 35}

I'm a dead man [Dec 1st, 1008|12:12 pm]

[Current Mood|]
[Current Music|Some muzak on 911's hold system]


It's been weeks since I've slept. Months since I've left my room. I'm not sure how much longer I have left, but I had to blog at least one last time. We were going to go on Talico's stupid trip, but then I found this note under my foot.



Although that is a very well made forgery, Colt's handwriting is usually less legible. Regardless, it's clear that someone has been planning to kill me. I couldn't risk anything dangerous, like climbing an active volcano. Without saying a word, I rushed into my room and locked the door. Colt and Talico were clearly concerned for me.

Open this door right now, you douchebag!

Yeah, douchebag!

GO AWAY!

But we have an adventure to go on!

Then take Colt! I'm staying here! Where it's safe!

Fine. But I'll be back! Some day, we will adventure! You have my word! Come on, Colt.

Wait, let go of me! Hey! Ow! HELP!


And so they left. For the next month, it was just me and Solid Waste. I looked out my window to see what he was up to.



I think I have a good idea about who has been planning to kill me.



Without anyone to get in his way, Solid resumed his own personal training routine.



And god damn it, he was getting better results than he did by doing what I told him. I wish I had a sniper rifle. Then I'd show him.



But no, instead I had to watch him train himself from my window, with that stupid smug look on his face.



It's only a matter of time before he gets strong enough to break down my door.




Do you want to see it? Then open that door!

SCREW OFF, PUNKY BREWSTER! I can see it fine from here.




You should do the same. Nature is good for you. And I don't think you can live off the bags of cheetos you had stashed in your closet for much longer.

Oh shut up. I'm fine. A little orange, but fine.



Yes I'm sure and- wait, what are you holding?

Star prunes. They make you famous just by eating them. I fed a bunch to Solid.

WHAT!? Damn it Colt, now he'll be too popular to convict!

What are you babbling about?

You know. Don't act like you don't because you do! Oh, you do.

O...k... Um, you know, there's an official tournament coming up soon. Maybe we should enter Solid? He can go to C or B rank.



Maybe. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.



What should I do, internet friends? Please tell me. I'm so tired. And I think the cheetos are giving me a cramp now.