Part 45: Duck vs. Suezo
Part 45
The little ducken that couldn't

[Current Mood|

[Current Music|Dr. Phil & The Gang - It's Tricky]
This was the big day. Tournament day. D-Day. The D is for Ducken, and mine was going to bring home the gold.

YEAH! LET'S DO THIS! TO THE FIGHTS, DUCK!

I can't help it. Sure, he's a horrible failure of existence, but every time I look into those dull vacant eyes, I can't help but forgive him.

And on that note, we trotted up to the arena.


Did you get all that, Colt?

Good.

My little duck's first fight was against some kind of mutant penguin.

The two met in the middle of the ring. Ducken was trying to be polite, and offered the penguin his wing.

The penguin responded with a vicious headbutt.

By the time Whatthef managed to pull himself together, the match was over. I was sure we'd get the next one.

The next match featured an inbred collie. I did some research, and it turns out they really do make these things in a factory. They have pregnant dogs squatting over conveyor belts and everything.

My ducken's baser foul instincts kicked in, causing him to flee for his life from the big doggy.

Sadly, the doggie caught up with him.

I don't think we used enough glue when we made this thing.

Our next opponent was a suezo with a big flower growing from its back. If Whatthef couldn't win this, then we might as well quit right here.



God damn it all.

Long story short: We sucked.


Oh no you don't! We're sticking with that ducken until one of us is dead and buried.

I wasn't talking about him.

WHAT THE BLAZES?!

Why is that thing quacking!?!

Toucans don't quack!

Well... uh...

Anyway, Ducken brought you a gift.

It means he wants you dead. Like the fish.



Good question. What should we do with him now?