Part 59: The End
Part 59
(I'd like to thank Cobalt Chloride, Red Zeppelin, and myself for the drawings in this update. Mainly myself. I am so awesome.)
There is a God!

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[Current Music|They Might Be Giants - Chariots Of Fire]
It's taken me a while to get out the funk losing Ducken threw me in. It would have taken longer, but last night something amazing happened...


Oh Jesus it's that bird God come back for revenge! Quick, get into the bomb shelter!

Wait a minute... That face... Ducken?

DUCKEN! You're back! Oh God, I missed you! I'd hug you if it wouldn't light me on fire.

I don't know how, but Ducken was somehow reborn from the his ashes. Like... like a... I don't know, like some kind of bird that comes back from the dead. We're going to have to seriously train him up if we want to beat those jerks in the S Rank again. I think I'll just copy what I did for Ducken when he was a Ducken, so I won't need any advice from you guys this time. I'll let you know how things turn out!
Loongear the Conqueror

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[Current Music|Andrew WK - Party Hard]
Hey guys. Sorry I haven't updated my blog in... wow, 4 years. I have a good excuse, though! I've been training with Ducken in the mountains.

We focused our inner chi and stuff until Ducken could smash rocks by looking at them. I felt pretty pumped up, too. Now all we have to do is wait for the invitations to the special elite tournaments to roll in.

Well that was easy. So, what's the deal with these tournaments?

Oh, so it's like boxing.

I'll show you sometime. Probably soon. Who are we fighting first?




I- wh- huh?


Can we just fight now?

Let me guess: It's another lemur wearing makeup.



JESUS CHRIST.

Go on, Ducken. Kill that... giant zombie dragon.

With a mighty quack, Ducken focused two concentrated beams of heat at the skeleton.

It hurt Zelandia, but didn't kill him. And boy, did he look pissed.

But Ducken remained cool. He simply stared at the dragon until he exploded.


How do you like THAT, Gothy McStereotype?


Leaving the big velvet baby to cry to himself, Colt and I walked off with our first of rht big 4 titles and a huge wad of cash. I bought so much ice cream that night. Sadly, Ducken melted it all.

Who's next?


Kavaro, what the hell are you doing here?

Well let's see the little fel-

Kavaro?

I just want you to know that win or lose, I hate you so very much.


It turns out, Kavaro isn't very good at training his monsters. Ducken was just starting to make the motions to let off his massive laser beams...

And that alone was enough to make Kavaro's death clown drop dead.

Kavaro, you really suck at this.



I feel really dirty after that match. If I see one more explorer today, I will hurt someone. Moving on.

Ducken's ready! Now what's the next chump on our quest to glory?


We're fighting a captain?

That disappoints me more than it should.


Yessir.

Um. No thank you.




Can we please get this over with?

Thank you, Ducken!

How do you even get a whale on land in the first place?





You knew this was going to happen.


More money for the money pile. I love my money pile.

Last one! Alright! Who do we have to finish off, Colt?


What the hell? He's, like, six. How the hell did a kid get this far as a monster breeder? And what the hell is with his eyes?

So the eyes are from the tumor?

Oh, okay then.


Oh God get it away from me!

Ohh, right. So you're our next opponent?

That's nice.


WHAT!? How is that not against the rules!?

Damn it. Go kill that cyborg, Ducken! You've faced worse! Maybe.

Randy was busy trying to make the remote control for his iron giant work to actually fight with it.

Ducken used the opportunity to generate enough heat to melt down all of its robotic parts.

All that was left were some mocchi bones and lumps of steel. I guess Randy should have wished to not suck! Ha! Stupid dying kid.

We... we did it! WE DID IT!

Ducken! You and me! We did it! Just the two of us! High five, buddy!


This isn't filled with chocolate, is it?



Does this mean I can finally go home?


Yeah, we- what the hell did you just say?

No, that wasn't it at all. Go back to the time thing.

Why am I putting up with this? Come on, Ducken. Let's go home. I left the tivo running, so we have a lot of TV to catch up on.




