Part 24: Wherein an elderly cult is stamped out

Good morning! Rise and shine! Supply mission to New Leaf starts today!
: Uuuuugh where's the snooze button on Pick's face?



Look lively now, everybody! We'll be going on ahead of the supply train in order to clear out trouble.
: What if trouble waits for us to pass then hits the caravan behind us?
: You presume that bandits will see our motley band and think they would have a better chance taking on a full complement of caravan guards.
: Point.



: Wow, New Leaf looks a lot like Neverwinter.
: …That's because we're at Neverwinter again.
Just some unfinished business with Nevalle. Won't take long. He should be somewhere in the palace, I think…



: I told you we should've started with the taverns!
: The aristocracy do seem to take a fairly casual approach to governance on the Sword Coast.



Huh… full price.
: Figures he doesn't understand what a bribe is.
: Bribing a lord with help for orphans sounded pretty unbelievable anyways. Nobody'dve bought that story.



New Leaf is inland. If we follow this river through Neverwinter Wood we should find it.
: If we're leaving the coast, and this is the Sword Coast, where does that mean we're going?
: Sword Continent! Sounds promising!



: These woods go far, are you sure you know where we're going?
Our directions said follow the river, so that's what we're doing.
: Anyone seen the caravan in a while? Hope they weren't eaten by Dire Bears.
: I hate that. Just take an animal and stick the word dire on the front of it. Seems so…
: Lazy?



There, see? I told you - New Leaf!
: Oh, New Leaf, like the saying! Turning over a new leaf! That's clever.
: Huh… Uh, I mean, obviously yeah. Everyone else got that immediately I'd wager.
Of course!
: It's so obvious.
: Our duplicity is shameful.



: These guys can't be too hard up, they've still got a decent-looking tavern.
: Do not be so quick to judge until you have tried what they serve, or else - Oh!



: What… what is that beautiful sound? That beckoning song… soft like wind, embracing like open sky! Who plays such an enchanting melody?



: Who, Finch?
: No not Finch! This song is beautiful! Not his two-copper lute-scrapings!
: Nobody likes Finch's music.
Well there's two other bards over there I can see-



: OHMIGODDESS IT'S SHYMON AND SCARFUNKEL EEEEEEEEEEE!
Wait, what?
: Shymon and…
: Scarfunkel?

Editor's note:

Don't look at me, I have no clue about these two either.

{Ayup those are their actual names. There's actually a version of the game's theme playing in the tavern where they sing lyrics as well, it's only in this tavern and they have nothing to say and are involved in no quests.}



This guy says he's the quartermaster, so I suppose he's in charge here.
: We better let quartermaster know he's gonna have a lot of supplies in soon, lotta work to do.
: Do we have to do any work?
: Of course not! We're adventurers. Adventurers don't move crates around, they break 'em open for goodies inside!
: _{-and I've heard ALL your songs and I read your piece in Bards Monthly and my best friend Qudoo saw you in Waterdeep and she said it was the BEST-}
Let's see what the problem is exactly here in New Leaf.



: Agda's thinking this guy might not be on the level.
: Why? He said he was too busy, right? Maybe we need to check back later!
: No, there was something about… the way the quartermaster talked…
Come on, you can do this…
: Agda thinks… something's going on around here that the town's afraid to talk about and that's why there's a shortage!
: *gasp!*
Good detective work, Agda! Let's round up Haalgrad and the starry-eyed fan and get to investigating.



So what should we just wander around looking then or BEARS! DIRE BEARS! COMING RIGHT FOR US!
: Agda knew it!
: Something's up ahead too! We're surrounded by bears! This ain't how I was expecting to go!



: Oh thank the gods, they're just some regular old bandits.
: Should we warn them about the bears?
: Not so loud! You'll-
Too late.



: I've heard of a running battle before, but-
: I am vetoing that pun, on pain of no longer healing your pains.
Hey, where's Agda?



: Pop goes the weasel! Woo! Tag team action!
: _{Oh gods that one's vetoed too.}



: So… you want help? Or…
: No! No kill steals! Agda can do this solo!
: That random brigand's commitment to fighting to the death is vaguely admirable.
: Aye, they're a game breed, these forest bandits.



Hey! During the fighting those bandits uh… dropped some stuff, that I was totally planning to share with you guys.
: Sure thing, Pick. What's so interesting?



: Oh wow!
: I'll say! Take a look at that Thunderstone!
: It is very nice, so far as Thunderstones go.
Guys? Little focus here? The snake figurine.



: So what? It's a snake figurine. Probably worth a few gold chips if that's real jade, but-
Agda and I have had some experience with snake symbols like this before. It's enchanted to help guide the wearer, probably to their lair.
: It's like a dowsing rod for shins to kick!
We just need to watch it for when it glows brightest…



NOPE NOT THIS WAY.
: Why not? Maybe they're behind the dragon?
: If they're behind the dragon and not getting burnt to a crisp then I think they win.



: Hurry up with finding the lair already, Pick! Got a lot of wolves on our tail!
: They're much faster than the bears and almost as deadly… just so we're clear, if they overtake us I will begin to run faster than you.
: Aye, and I'll be shattering yer scrawny kneecap first to make good my own getaway, don't you worry!
Hopefully it won't come to that - wait, there it is! Near that cliff!



: Quick! Slam the door behind us!
: Is everybody in?
: No time! Women and Dwarves first!
We're safe!



So safe, in this bandit lair.
: Uh oh, they don't look happy to see us. You think they're working with the wolves?



: Gah! Gods and demons, woman, try to keep all this amazing grace outta my eyes will you?
: It's not just me - these bandits are accompanied by priests of a dark one!
Okay so… that narrows the list down to like at least a third of the gods. Thirty plus, I think.
: We can ask! When the bandits aren't screaming at us so much!



: Is it just my Dwarf perspective playing with me or are these some seriously old bandits?
Humans start to break down around fifty, I think. Poor short-lived buggers.
: They're gonna be a lot shorter-lived in a minute! Woooo!



: Whomever you worship, time to meet them in person!
: Hah! That's the sort of divine intervention Agda likes to see! Right through the chest!
: What's divide interbention?
: What you'll need to stay alive if we don't stop yacking and get to fighting already!



Better?
: Better.
: Still not sure what dark god they called upon… although the snake architecture looks relevant.
: Yuan-ti. Agda hates these guys.
: Yuan-ti? But the snakes worship Sseth, who-



: Hey, they're attacking us! Are they allowed to do that?
I'll be sure to lodge a complaint at the adventurer's guild. Round two, people!



: Those guys really threw themselves at us, even if they had no chance.
: Indeed. That was fanaticism, not bandit avarice. Not only that, but this lair looks less abandoned ruin and more mysterious cult temple.
: Cultists! Cross another off the list of things to kill before Agda dies!
What else is on there?
: Lots of stuff. Beholder, Lich, Ethereal Filcher (like the name!), Demogorgon…



: This lair is much bigger than I expected.
: Can we get a time out? I'm getting tired from all this walking.
: If you can make it to the end of the temple, I promise you can ride in the supply caravan on the way back. Fair?
: Yaaaay, cart rides! Okay, let's keep killing cult guys then.



: How many godsdamned old men can one cult seriously have? They must be recruiting out of a nursing home!
Or they've been around for a worryingly long time…



: Too many clerics for this to be a minor venture, either. We're cutting our way through some serious clergy.



: I've been in city main streets more cramped than this.
: What's holding the ceiling up?
: Aka, this is no time to start poking at foundations, okay?
: Maybe iff'n we don't look at it gravity'll keep forgetting to do its job and crush us.



: Up ahead - the stagnant air… this is the end of the tunnel. Their base of operations.
: That means boss fight! Time to work out whole days of frustration!
: It also means all the loot we can carry with both arms! Lead the way!
I like our battle plan: enthusiasm.



: You got that right, lad! This is what adventuring's all about!
: Running around underground and breathing in weird temple fumes?
: Well, no-



Is it about taking on three guys at once without getting any help? Because it's that for me right now!
: Quit whining! Agda's getting cursed by an unknown god! That's way worse!
What are you talking about? That curse probably just stings a bit all things told, all three of these guys are twice my size and trying to gut me!
: Big deal, Agda's taken on three guys at a time before and- Ohohoh, nice try Pick almost had Agda there.



: Haalgrad, is it about trying to cut your way through two fanatical berserkers between you and your friends?
: Er… it can be. I was thinking more-
: Is it about remembering to wash behind your ears?
: Hah! It's never about that!
: *sigh* Regretfully...



: Pray harder! Priest'll be all alone in a minute!
: Soon you'll be crossing off desperate preacher grandpas off your list, Agda!
: Wow. That's putting things a little starkly, isn't it?
: Too far, Haalgrad.
: What?! But peoples' been making dead priest jokes the whole-
: Oooh! Is adventuring about saying mean things to old people?



: Almost finished now, just put down these last mad dogs and the cult will be eradicated!
: Yeah! That'll show whoever they worship! Don't mess with us!
I don't know, we've seen that snake symbol before. I don't think the cult's done for, they could probably still mess with us quite a bit.
: Getting messed with - what adventuring's all about!
: Ugh.



: Cult status: so owned.
: Right, what I was trying to say is that adventuring is all about this - the big payoffs at the end!



: Yeeee-haaaaa! Look at all this loot!
Should we tell him it's all being returned to the people of New Leaf?
: Give him a moment to dream.
: Look at all these barrels! I'll be the barrel-king of Dwarf-kind!