Part 30: Wherein personal wanderings yield bounty

: With the company secure, it will take some time to appraise our assets and supplies. While we look into things, why not take in some fresh air about town?
: Don't you need any help?
: I think so long as we remain focused on our work there should be few disputes. Besides, I doubt Beef wants to stay cooped up indoors all day.
: Cornelius wants us to take Beef for walkies?
: I didn't mean to be so blunt on the subject, but…
: Don't forget to bring bags with you! Khelgar won't think twice about giving you a fine. Lousy hard-ass Dwarf…



: Yaaay! It be time for Beef's Big Day Out!
: Oh this can't be good.
: behave yourselves out there! Remember to look out for serpentine assassins and traffic!



: Waaaaaagh! Beef go for fun run!
: Beef! Slow down! Halfling legs are too stubby to keep up!
: Crap, we better get after him. Crossroad Keep might have a strict leash law or something.



: Did Pick see where Beef went?
: No… I think we lost him!
: Worried now. What if Beef gets hurt? Beef shouldn't be running with magical battle axes, it's dangerous! Didn't Beef's mother ever say that?



: He might've gone into the Adventurer's guild. Door's open, anyway. I'll ask if-
: Hold up, this guy maybe saw something. Let's see.



: Ugh, maybe not. Guy's got a creepy dead-eye stare.
: I could ask, if you want.
: No, no. Let Agda just get guy's attention…



: Uh, Pick? What? We're supposed to be looking for Beef!
: Sorry, I just couldn't resist. It sounds like easy money!
: Yeah maybe, but not if we have to pay a repair bill for what Beef gets up to.



: The job'll take two minutes tops, I promise.
: Unless the house is haunted! And we spend two minutes inside but it's two days outside!
: What?
: Okay yeah that was dumb. Need Beef back for inspiration!



: Okay, so it's either haunted or just filthy gross, yuck.
: The former owner was a bit of a pack-rat, I guess. Except instead of cool stuff it's broken furniture and paper waste.



: Ugh, looks like he hoarded dangerous chemicals too. Step quietly, okay? We don't want to make any noise.
: What's the big deal? Not like the vials are listening or anything.



: Nnngh! That's the big deal! Everything here's extremely delicate!
: Oh hush. Pick should've bought that amulet of acid resistance! Gives five percent acid immunity!
: Agda, it wasn't magic. If I held a plain amulet in front of my face I could probably catch five percent of that acid splash on it.
: Well then maybe Pick should've gotten an amulet of major acid resistance! Built twice as wide!



: …So, what are we even looking for?
: Uh… I guess I don't know for sure. He said something about… neutralizing some dangerous mix in here. Must be something besides all these precariously-placed vials…



: Pick thinks it's behind this door?
: Hm? Oh, no. I just unlock every door I can. It's a habit, really.



: Yeesh, this guy lived in the lap of luxury alright.
: Mess this bad is a privilege!
: Right. I found a journal and some bottles of weird chemicals in his bedside drawer. You want to sneak back now? We'll still have to watch our step.
: …



: Cheese it! Woooooooooo!
: Ohgodsexplosions!



: See? Hardly a scratch!
: Couple of burns though. I think this is that dangerous mix the guy was talking about.
: Then what are we waiting for? Get to fixin'!



: Oh, simple as that huh?
: Agda blanked out there. What're we doing?
: We need to neutralize this explosive slop. To do that we need to add either the purple chemical or the green one. One neutralizes, the other blows everything up.
Agda: So Pick thinks we should get Cornelius, maybe? Or look up the chemicals in a book?
: Maybe. I don't think we can say conclusively that either-
: Psych! Getting bored! Dump the green one!



: …Pick?
: ?
: Pick isn't breathing.
: …_{Ah, right}. Sorry, forgot to for a moment there. On account of I thought we were already dead.



: Mission accomplished! Fee collecting time! Time to get some money off the dead-eye guy!



: You know, we probably could've made more money if we hadn't caused all those explosions.
: So worth it!
: So, uh…
: …?
: …Weren't we looking for Beef?
: Oh right! Yeah, probably. There's gotta be a lost and found at Crossroad Keep somewhere.

Meanwhile, very far away from the Lost & Found



: Hi Dwarf King! Beef bored, and also maybe lost? Can Dwarf King help?



: Hm… Beef think… maybe… maaaaaaybe… Dwarf King think Beef an enter-pricing adventurer?
: *gasp* That mean mission is for Beef! Boredom solved! _{Still might be lost though.}



: Beef go get gloves back for Dwarf King!



: ADVENTURRRRRRRRRRE!
: Uh… hm… Usually Agda have map. And compass. And know what map and compass do.
: No problem! Beef use special barbarian training, track way to find bards!



: Okay, not this way!



: Nope, not this way either!



: Whoops wrong turn…



: Okay TOO FAR!



: No problems!



: Yay party! Oh, but Beef dressed for adventure party, not dance party… maybe it dress-up party?



: Hmph, look like boring party to Beef. Where punch bowl? Band? Pin tail on displace beast? Beef go find real party.



: 'Nother half-orc! Kinda puny though. Not any spikes even!





: Beef get go into back! Must be private party for important Vips like Beef!



: Waaagh! Funny-looking party people scare Beef there!
: Waaaaait, fire lady and friends look familiar. You from Crossroad Keep! Always playing music in street when Beef come back from adventures!



: Hah! Beef glad Beef came to party now! Worth long trip!
: Wait, why Beef go to party again?
: Oh, right! Beef need find bards so can get gloves back for Dwarf King!



: So… anybody seen bards?
: Why everyone yell at Beef?



: Any sign of him?
: I see guests running in terror. That stands as good evidence he is here.
: He'd better be! If I have to sit through one more lecture from Daeghun…



: Woah there, this random shack in the middle of the forest houses some serious muscle. Substitute meat-shield, to the fore!
: I do not like being referred to in such a way.
: Oh, so you'd rather I use the Halflings as substitute meat-shields? They look like children, for Gods' sake! Repulsive, despicable children!



: Why's that one woman just standing there and watching? Should we tell her we're not part of the show?
: Sooner or later a stray explosion from Heronius should get that point across. Or engulf her. I am likely supposed to be more concerned about which outcome occurs.



: Wait a minute, anybody else notice that?
: Notice what?
: The bad guys aren't attacking, they're trying to run away and we're in the way of the door!
: What could they be running from?



: Beef really sorry for breaking squishy bard! But that okay! Beef can play spoons! Can take place, join band maybe? Maybe then everybody stop hitting Beef?
: *sigh* Beef not good at conflict resolution. Except with axe. Then maybe Beef too good.



: Fear not, Beef! Here we are, come to-



: …rescue you?
: Oh hey! Corneylus and everybody! Over here! Give Beef two minutes get weird bard-people out of way.



: I always hated bards anyways.
: They do tend to have fewer professional restrictions and greater personal autonomy. _{Lucky bastards}.
: And they get all the babes! True-facts, if a party's got a bard and saves a princess, bard gets first dibsies.
: Actually now I'm starting to hate bards too.
: See? Fucking bards.



: Waaaagh! Not so tough now that all friends dead!
: Hey maybe we shouldn't kill the last crying guy and whoops there you go chopping him with an axe never mind.
: It was for the best.
: Really? For the best?
: Best for us, naturally.



: Yaaaay! Friends know Beef in trouble and need help so friends help Beef!
: Yes! That's exactly what happened, and that's why we're going to take you back home and let you play indoors for a while.
: Picking through the remains here, there's actually a dazzling array of jewels and essences critical to our crafting goal. These bards were likely serious enchantment burglars.
: Commendable. So we can claim an ancillary victory for justice. And here I was worried we had slaughtered a party of young people alone in the woods as part of our descent into madness.
: Actually come to think of it, we really didn't check to see who these people were or why we were fighting them before we got stuck in, did we?
: Don't over think these things. Everything worked out for the best in the end and our hands are clean.
: Now let's clean up the witnesses outside and burn this place to the ground to hide the evidence.