Part 32: Wherein a return journey is made and alliances reforged

: How went the meeting?
: As well as could be expected. We said nothing that has not been said before.



: Khelgar will absolve us and the company of any complicity in the Sa'sani affair so long as we can track her down and bring her to justice.
: So he did not believe you about Zehir?
: Hard to tell. If he did, he seemed more than content to let us handle it. Possibly a long adventuring career has convinced him it's best to let adventurers handle world-domination threats.
: His confidence in us is uplifting, if bizarre.



: Regardless, all else is in order. I have arranged for our return to Samarach, as well as the necessary transfer of funds and resources to enable our campaign.
: We have tarried perhaps overlong on the Sword Coast. Do you know where our friends have gone?



: I believe I have some idea, yes.



:: Hah! That was nothing! I did that trick in Luskan once, the fireball was twice as big!
: Agda heard about that one! Is that when the Sixth High Captain's tower burned down?
:: Listen if you don't fire-proof your drawing room you can't expect to be a good host.
: Beef can't feel tongue no more.
:: Good! That means it's working! Barman, further rounds!



: Good to see we are in high spirits. Or at least in spirits.
: Wuh-oh, look out guys it's the fun police.
: No, that's good! Cornelius's hilarious while drunk! Get the wizard some more of that super-wine!
: My refined palette aside, we have work to do. Everything has been worked out for our return to Samarach.
: 'Bout time! Beef was getting bored. Plot too hard to follow, need big fight scene with bad guys already.



: You guys go on, I'll just be a minute.





: Awww, is Pick going soft?
: I don't know if we'll ever make it back to the Sword Coast again. Money's no good to a dead man.
: What about paying for ressurections? Or bartering a soul off a devil or demon? Or-
: Besides, it's the taking of coin I can't help myself over, I don't have to keep it.



:: I just want to remind everyone what happened the last time we trusted Gnomish technology, so that image might be foremost in our minds when we phase into an active volcano.
: Have no fear, I have personally overseen the improvement of the teleportation device. It should be _{theoretically} safe.
: Wait, theore-

*voip*



: …Did we make it? Are we alive?
: Beef travelled back in time! Beef back when friends all in jungle!
: No, Beef. This is the same jungle as before, we have simply returned.
: …So Beef in future?
: Relatively speaking, I suppose we are in the-
: What have I said about encouraging him?



:: Quick, let's get out of here before he tries to employ us to buff his gears or mow his lawn or whatever else the gnomes won't do for themselves.



: We need a chance to organize ourselves and lay out our assets before mounting an expedition.
: That means we need to take shelter, right? Did you have any place in mind?
: Well there is one place…



:: The fates laugh at me.
: It's not so bad. We have arranged a cover story to allow us safe leave to-
:: Back to this foetid dump of a city on the ass-end of the world! When they exiled us I took it as a sacred promise that we would be free of their nonsense!
: Come, let us get settled in before his histrionics attract attention.

Editor's note:

And so at last our party arrives at the threshold of destiny. While not widely known and generally hushed up by the lords and powers in the know, they stood ready to launch an assault on dark forces that threatened the Sword Coast. Their preparations were not wasted - with bags full of rare and mystical components, they set about creating weapons and trinkets of vast magical power.



Fresh blades were forged, and amulets imbued. The essence of fire and water elementals, the fangs of vampires, stolen jewels and a small fortune in gold were consumed to produce mighty enchantments. Alchemists were emptied of healing draughts, and scrolls were scribed with emergency spells of all descriptions.



Where they would go now, they would bring only the necessary supplies of a private war (as well as the necessary cash to satiate Heronius). Only a rare few artefacts survived the coming engagements, but their names are still remembered - Flat Nose, a burning-hot Great Axe, Antara, a holy blade of incredible sharpness, and Brain Basher, a mace based on the one given as a gift by Skullcrusher, but improved as to bash brains even harder than before.



: This new sword… I can feel great power running up my arm. It is a holy blade.
: Pasquale can tell a holy sword by touching it?
: Well the rash helps a little too. Angelic down is another allergen of mine.
: Beef's newest axe best yet!
: Indeed. I also imbued it with the power of fire, to burn your enemies.
: Beef not see any fire…
: The blade contains the fiery enchantment. I saw no need to cause a never-ending flame to sheath it - how would you ever put your weapon away?
: Put weapon…
: Away?



:: I just want to say that arming me sets a terrible precedent.
: How so?
:: Well for a start, people might expect me to actually fight. Like some common thug, using my hands and muscles.
: We can no longer afford the luxury of being under-equipped. That spear is the most powerful weapon you can wield, and you must be armed in case you need defend yourself.
:: Haha! Fallen into my clever trap!



: What is this?
:: That, my friend, is the most powerful weapon you can wield.
: It's a shovel.
:: It's a holy relic of Chantea, which we acquired from a holy woman in West Harbour. And it's much more powerful than any magical, respectable staff you could make yourself.
: So help me, Heronius, I will find a way to make you pay.



: Very well, we are at last armed and armoured to our greatest extent. Cornelius, what is our next step?



: Here is the situation.
: Sa'Sani has fled into the northernmost reaches of the jungles of Chult. She is in some way related to the machinations of Zehir, although we have yet to find reliable evidence on her activities.
: Zehir himself is a nascent super-being - or even, yes, a God - whose forces have infiltrated the Sword Coast. Quite possibly our work with the merchant company has enabled this.
: Zehir's plan does not appear ready to be put into motion and we have slain many of his agents, but he still sits unsuspecting in the North, as does Sa'Sani.
: Our objective then is to launch an expedition past Taurin and into the deepest part of the jungle, where the Samarachan patrols refuse to go. There we put an end to Zehir, once and for all.



: That whole plan? Seem pretty easy. Even Beef get it - go up, stomp Zehir.
: Go "up"?
: North. North is up.
: Not… quite.



: Yeah, no offence to Beef but any plan he can grasp doesn't seem all that bright.
: It's the best we can do with our limited information. Most of our time has gone into securing safe staging grounds, powerful weapons, and making sure we left no agents of Zehir behind us.
: It is unfortunate no agent we encountered gave up more useful information.



: Who cares? Nobody these snake folks or Zehir's sent our way so far've been that tough!
: Sometimes snakes tough. If lots of snakes, pretty tough.
: It depends to a great extent who we end up fighting. I am not yet convinced Sa'Sani is in league with Zehir, even though we may need to fight both. Her parting of ways with Na'Sirin was ruthless.
: I guess we'll find out when we blunder face-first into the Yuan-Ti and see who's on which side in the end.



:: Well, I'm sold. Marching into the mostly-unknown for a surprise frontal assault and investigation? What could possibly go wrong?
: I think we've covered the necessary ground. Sleep well. We leave tomorrow, and we may not return any time soon.

: Or at all.

That night





: Can't sleep again?
: Nope. You?
: Same.



: When I became a "barbarian warrior", it was just a lot of fun. Chance to swap some stories and see the world, you know?
: I know.
: I think I might quit. Send in my resignation, hang up my brain basher. After we save the world, I mean. Kinda hard to back down from that one now.
: There's nothing wrong with that. I got into adventuring for… personal reasons, too. This is all sort of over my head.
: Everything's over our heads, Pick.
: Heh, that too.



: …So what is it?
: Huh?
: Your real name. No way it's "Pick Fairyfingers". If we're going to face mortal danger together to save the world, I want to know your real name.
: …Okay, I'll tell you. But don't tell the others. And don't tell the others I told you, either. Oh, and don't-
: I promise.
: Leo Gardner.



: Gardner? I like that name.



:: Let this be the last time I ever leave this city at the crack of dawn.
: Personally I hope to have that opportunity again some time, if it means we survive.
: Why little people so sleepy today? Beef not mind carry friends on back, but…
: Leg cramps.
: Yeah, right. Halflings get terrible leg cramps. That's why we started wearing shoes, you know.
: Beef always wondered about the shoes…



:: The trail isn't exactly hidden.
: The Yuan-Ti are in control of the North. They need not hide because no Samarachans dare to travel that far.
: Hopefully our daring will catch them off guard, then. Or at least afford us time to run.



: Behold, as described in the proscribed texts of Chult. The Viper Temple.
:: I used to go to a bar called "The Viper Lounge" in Luskan. Nice atmosphere.
: So what is this place, exactly? Assuming it's not a bar?
: A waypoint. It marks the beginning of Yuan-Ti territory. It is not regularly guarded, but Yuan-Ti do come here to convene with external allies…



: I see. The perfect environment for secret meetings.
: Dark and moody?
: No, differing elevations. I imagine the Yuan-Ti enjoy looking down on their guests.



: Speaking of, it appears we are not alone.
: Sa'Sani! Was she waiting for us?
:: Maybe in ambush - should I fry her to a crisp? Please let me fry her to a crisp.
: Let us try to figure out what she wants first, perhaps?





:: Ambush! It was a trap!
: Who ambush who? What side we on now? Beef getting lost again!
: Attack the side with the giant snakes, Beef! Big snakes bad!
: Our adventure summarized. Protect Sa'Sani! Destroy clan Se'Sehen!



: Haste!Woooooooo!Agda'sfavouritespell!Gettofightatspeedoflight!
: Gettingqueasy,hardtoseestraight,losingbalance…
: Just. Say. Everything. Really. Slowly.



:: It looks like they brought mages of their own. Ones with defensive enchantments at that.
: How quaint. What say I strip them of magical defences and you reduce them to cinders?
:: You know, you have your good spots old man.



: Sorry Heronyus! One got loose.
:: Ugh, getting my hands dirty is not my style at all. Hurry up and kill the damn thing before I have to engage it as an equal!



: I may not know much about magic, but a knife in the ribs still works.
: Crude, but effective. They have come unprepared indeed if a few inches of enchanted steel will see them off.



: They fall before us. These agents of Zehir are paltry.
:: I was expecting a lot more bang with all that buildup.
: Don't get cocky, Agda's read this one before. Bad guy always starts with the entry-level vilains, then they get worse every step of the way.



: A rare intersection between fantasy and reality. Once we prove ourselves a threat there will be much worse in store, I guarantee.
: Corneylus promise? Beef hardly breaking sweat.



: Look out! He's teleporting clear!
: Waaagh! Disappearing enemies! Even easier to win fights now!
:…He's probably reappeared somewhere else.
: Don't matter, running away means snake man four-fits!
:: Now that I think about it, was he the first enemy we've ever fought who ran away instead of fighting to the end?
: I think so. A momentous day, our first reoccurring villain.





: That's a great deal of information we've just received. Probably the best answers we can hope to glean about Zehir and what lies before us.
: Assuming we can trust Sa'Sani to-
:: Wait, did she say Volo?



:: Oh no. Hells no! I crossed continents to get away from that asshole!
: Easy, Heronius, Volo's here to help this time!
:: Remember all those other times he "helped"?! Let me at him! Nobody needs to know!



: Let's try and keep this brief before Heronius finds a way past Beef.



: This is the problem with fighting a secret war - it can be very difficult to requisition with any authority. Oh well, I suppose all that gold we cultivated will be of some use now…
:_{…And then I'm going to throw the ashes into the sea, and then boil the sea dry with fire, and then catch the evaporating particulate and blast into the astral plane, and then I'm going to get really mad and…}



: Where are we now?
: Northern Chult.
:: Home of these damnable snake-men.
: And dinosaur-country!
: Dinosaurs rule here? Beef want to find dino-King! Become honorary brontosaurus!
: There may be few opportunities for honours, Beef. Hopefully our quarry lies ahead, and a final confrontation.