Part 6: Rebellion and the M.I.N.T. Mall

Nothing much to do on a lazy Sunday. Let's join a rebellion!

Last time we were watching Kent's misadventures, he had been unceremoniously deposited into a dumpster, in search of an anarchist, rebel force. What will he find in there?



Oh man. We've got one of those bouncy ball things, two obvious cardboard cutouts in the background, a bunch of garbage and the biggest fashion victim in Neutropolis.

Actually, I'll take that back, she's not even the biggest fashion victim we've personally witnessed so far in this game.

Ah! Er...
How did you find this place you soulless puss-bag?!

Actually, this girl could grow on me pretty quickly at this rate.

I'm not a Norm! Honest!
Prove it, boring boy!
I've been to the Blue Pens. Imprisoned by the Norms.
I expect you were just there doing your job. Torturing people displaying any will of their own! You are total scum! Don't lie to me! One false word and my guys will ventilate your head!

This is such a tinpot operation but I've got to admire her enthusiasm at least. Kent, on the other hand, starts to crack under her intensity.

I h..hate the Norms! They locked me up, just for whistling a cool tune in the street. It was a Brian Deluge track.
Brian is a wanted man. How do I know that you haven't come after him? How did you find this place?

Wait a minute, didn't Kent proclaim in the introduction that he was whistling a tune of his own composition? Don't try passing off your musical crimes on to actual artists, Kent.

I was told about this place a couple of times. It seemed my destiny to end up here.
Who told you about this place? I want names. I want evidence! Tell me now or cash your chips in!

Kent decides that honesty is the best policy.

I was in the maximum security Blue Pens. The normal ones are full. Apparently it is high season for different behaviour at the moment.
I have heard of the Blue Pens place. There are many conflicting opinions about them. A lot of speculation as to what Paul is keeping there. Some say he hides a great secret there.
Well whatever he holds there, the people seemed very nice. I didn't meet any of them but one of them gave me a note, telling me to come here.

Hahaha, "seemed very nice". I'll bet Kent says that about anyone willing to indirectly communicate with him.

Let me see it... So, it might be true!
What? What is true?
I will tell you if your prove your worth to our cause. You must perform two subversive tasks which will help me with my research, ultimately leading to REVOLUTION!

I bet the first task is for Kent to take all these garbage bags out of here. Kent decides to take a rain check.

I think I'll just be off. Nice knowing you.
You can't escape. Not until you answer my questions.
I think you have the wrong guy. I'm no revolutionary, just a simple-minded day dreamer who longs for change, who longs to do something other than watch TV.
Then you ARE the right guy! Don't you see? You have all the qualities our group needs. Plus, you have the recommendation from Dai, and that note really does seal it.

Actually, we hadn't even mentioned Dai yet. I don't think Gremlin spent a lot of time on these dialogue trees.

I met a crazy window cleaner by the name of Dai. He told me that furniture testing can lead to greater things. He said that there were probably a lot of nice people at the furniture factory, if I were to fall into the right circles.
So you met Dai? He is one of the founder members of our group. If he liked you, I suppose I should.

Actually, Dai said none of those things. And I don't mean that I chose the wrong dialogue options, I mean he literally never says any of those things. "Fall into the right circles" would be a good cryptic clue I guess, but he doesn't actually say it. I don't think he really liked us either. I think Kent is just bullshitting this girl for fun or something. He decides to keep stringing her along.

I accept the challenge! Tell me what the tasks are and I'll do anything to show my hatred of Paul and his Norm army. Especially something, er... did you say submersive?
I said subversive, you fool! ONE, I want you to broadcast a video of Brian Deluge on national TV. Here's the video. TWO, I want you to paint the cubic sculpture at the M.I.N.T. Mall a lovely yellow.

A music clip and a remodelling job? These guys are real serious anarchists.

Could you write that down? Then when I've done the tasks will you tell me what you believe the note is about?
OK.



Heather (oh, her name is Heather by the way, she never tells you but somehow Kent knows...) then switches the lights on, revealing that those obvious cardboard cutouts were, in fact, cardboard cutouts. Kent, of course, is shocked.

Yes, you can't be too careful when you are on the wrong side of the law in this town. I think I trust you now. Go. Perform your duty.
So what do I do? Aren't you going to give me a special gun or something, a magic sword at least?
You are on your own... Sorry, what IS your name?
Kent.
I'm sorry, Kent. I can't supply weapons, we are a pacifist group. You are on your own now. I can only give you one thing, a code phrase. There is a sympathiser at the Mall. To get help, just say "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together!"
U and I together? Sheesh!

Wow. I hope we choose the right person to say this to at the mall, or else we'll probably end up arrested again.



Kent is then led outside the dumpster.



We now have a few extra options on our map. The M.I.N.T. Mall is the purple and blue sign up the top, the TV station is the lit up building in the bottom left, and The Den is the rebel hideout. Let's head back there.



I see those cardboard cutouts have been replaced with a giant hamburger. I'm not even going to question that one. Dai is here also, but he may as well not be because he has literally no lines in this scene.

Kent, we are very disappointed in you. We believed that you had the skills and motivation to make a difference to the people of this city. I'm a fool for believing in you.

Christ woman, calm down. Kent just wanted to ask a couple of questions.

You may be a fool Heather, but I haven't given up yet. What was it you wanted me to do, exactly? I have a terrible memory.
So bad that you forgot about the list I gave you? Kent, quit day-dreaming and.... ACHIEVE!
Bless you.

Hilariously, Heather is mistaken here, as she never actually gave you a list at all. Hope you remember what you needed to do soon, Kent!

Can you give me any help with this? I just need one clue. C'mon, give me one infinitesimally small break here?
Get... a... life!
Bye. I'll be back. You won't call me a loser next time I come here.
See ya. Good luck Kent.

I wouldn't count on it, Kent.



So we need to paint the cubic sculpture yellow? Guess we should get some of this yellow paint after all. Of course, these drums are all empty, just to make things difficult.



This is the reason we got the fire extinguisher. Kent is too much of a wimp to carry a full fire extinguisher, and of course unable to carry a drum of paint, but he's perfectly happy to load the extinguisher up with paint and then carry that.

Hey! That's cool! This thing has its own auto-siphon facility. Should be filled in no time!



Let's get out of this awful factory.



You can do the TV Station and the M.I.N.T. Mall in either order, making this the only real non-linear part of the game. Neither of them require items from the other. We'll do the mall first.



On the map there were glitzy, flashing neon lights, but the reality is this place is just as big a dump as the rest of Neutropolis.



Does that dog have a fucking French Horn around it's neck?

This thing looks vicious. What's that thing he's wearing?

Even Kent is stumped by such an idiotic dog accessory.



This dude's head looks like an egg.

Ah, a blind man selling matches.



Kent decides to initiate conversation.

Hello?
Hello, young man. Can I interest you in some of the greatest matches the world has ever seen?
Er, I'm a little low on cash at the moment.
Well, that's just fine, Son. I don't accept cash anyhow. I only deal in collectibles.

Judging by that outfit, he probably should start accepting cash. Nice lilac kilt, though.

Like what? Stamps? Paperweights? Coins? No, obviously not coins. Er...
You seem to be an intelligent gent. Go find me a nice novel I can immerse myself in.
Books you want? But you're, erm.... how can I put this tactfully? You're as blind as an egg.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks of eggs when I look at this guy's head.

First impressions aren't always what they seem to be my good friend. In fact, sometimes they're the total opposite of what they appear.
So what you're trying to say is that you CAN see?
Well! You're as fast as lightning, aren't you?! I can see all right, but I can't see colours. Red? Ha! Blue? Ha! Means the total sum of zero to me. I see the world in arty farty black and white.

You're not missing much living around here, man.

What kind of novel do you want?
Well, that would be telling! I like prose, rich flowing prose. English stuff. Stuff with brocade and crinoline in it.

"I could tell you what I want but life is much more enjoyable when simple business transactions are turned into infuriating guessing games!"

Stuff like Shakespeare perhaps?
Can't say I've heard of the boy, Son. Is he one of those new wave authors? One of those guys who don't know how to write properly?
Not exactly.

Kent decides to change the subject.

Nice dog. Is he a pedigree?
He certainly is, friend. He's most definitely all dog. Name's Deepha.
Deepha?
Yeah, Deepha Dog! Only time he'll bark is when he hears other dogs. He does it loud though, 'cos a' that bullhorn I got slung under his belly. Guaranteed to scare the waste products outta anybody!

Why would you equip your dog with a bullhorn? Nothing in this entire Godforsaken city makes any fucking sense. Kent, however, is quite excited by the idea!

Really? Is it that loud? I'd love to hear him!
I'd show ya but there aren't any other hounds around. He needs other dogs to get his mean streak goin'.
Is it a mean streak a mile wide?
Wider! Wider! Wider! This here dog's got me banned from more places than I've forgotten about. He hears one bark and SHAZAM! He transforms into a MANIAC MONGREL. He once bit a stick clean through.

This dude is starting to get a bit worked up. Kent decides to move on.

Bye now.
Goodbye young man.



Oh that's right, the matches. Kent offers this book, but apparently it doesn't have enough "brocade and crinoline" in it.

Is this the sort of book you like?
Oh no, Son! I don't care for that! Don't you have any others?



Fine, take our stupid costume book, it's not like we need it anyway.

Well, bless my soul! I'll have this one and no mistake.
There's just a small question of the matches?
Sorry. Here. Reckon I'd forget my won name if I hadn't already.
Yeah, right! Er, thanks for the matches.

Even Kent is a bit weirded out by this guy.



Kent enters the mall. This place is dead as a doornail.



A Norm stands guard next to what I assume is the sculpture that we need to paint yellow. Kent gets angry just looking at the norm.

What gives him the right to rule over me!?

That's it Kent! Get fired up!!



Norm 2782 (0:49) - Kent walks up to the Norm, still lugging the fire extinguisher around. The Norm stops him and confiscates the extinguisher. Kent meekly fights back with some stroppy sarcasm.



After confiscating the fire extinguisher, Norm 2782 automatically initiates conversation with Kent.

So, Norm, Sir, do you know how to discharge that extinguisher you've just confiscated?
That is sensitive information, Citizen! I am not at libery to tell you that I have passed all safety tests and pretend emergency simulations. Nor would I tell you if you asked.

Ahh, excellent, an idiot, even by Neutropolis' standards. Kent pushes him a bit further.

Damn! You guys are also so impenetrable and mysterious. So there's no way that you would tell me what kind of disaster crisis it would take for you to set that off?
No Aroony! Public service building fire regulations are a closely guarded secret. It's more than my job's worth to tell you when and how I would react to a combustive incident. Have I give you a badge?
You BURNED me there, you tough COOKie, Norm, Sir. I could really WARM to you. I don't FLAME you for not telling me, and I don't want to get you FIRED. Even though it's not totally FLARE. Hah!

Oh my God, shut the fuck up, Kent. Norm 2782 actually does force a badge into our inventory to. One that has no use whatsoever. Thanks for nothing, fuckface.

Goodbye, Norm, Sir!
Stay Normal, Citizen!

Kent can try to talk with Norm 2782 again.

Excuse me, Mr. Norm, Sir?
Go away Citizen. I'm not supposed to fraternise with the public. I'm here to protect you all.
What, just you on your own?
Never underestimate the abilities of a Norm.

So apparently he's the only Norm on duty here. That's handy to know, I guess.



Kent checks out the statue, which appears to be a giant waffle.

This is a big sculpture. It must be the one I've got to paint. It would definitely benefit from a lick of yellow.

Honestly, I'm not sure it would. Approaching the statue makes Norm 2782 furious at Kent.



Which gives Kent a chance to drill him for one more piece of information.

I just wanted to get closer, to become one with this... er... remarkable piece.
Get away from that!
Cheers! Why don't you go for a walk? I'll make sure nothing bad befalls the mall.
I like you. Drive, ambition, responsible. But to be a Norm requires merciless training for years, just to handle the stress I take each minute. I can't jeapordise a Citizen's safety by putting them in a dangerous situation that only I can handle!

Kent keeps probing...

What exactly would you deem a dangerous situation, oh server and protector? What might make you leave your post?
Let me have a think... Wild animals, definitely wild, rabid animals. And if, er... if I was sick. Y'know, if I had the sniffles or such.
Neither of them are very likely to happen in this warm homogenised shopping environment though, are they?
No. I, er... I suppose not.

Okay, so we have some idea what we need to do here. We need to make that dog outside bark, and hope that the bull horn will make him sound dangerous enough that Norm 2782 will leave his post. But the dog will only bark once he hears other dogs bark. We'll have to see what we can do about that.



Around the corner is one of only three open shops in this entire mall, Disco La-La.



Well I wouldn't exactly say that this is the best music selection I have ever seen!

I don't know, that Brenda album with the gremlin on the front looks pretty good.



These are on special offer.

And that one with the pumpkin stripper looks alright too!



That's right, "Total Clap". Kent takes it.



Finally, someone in this city who is an even bigger dork than Kent! Note the Elvis lookalike on the wall, the same one was in The Den. So I guess this guy is our rebel sympathiser.

What a nerd! He looks really uncomfortable in those clothes. Look at those colours! You could speak fish with those!
I heard that! What your step, while you still can!

Hahaha, adorable. Kent introduces himself, thankfully without using an embarrassing pseudonym this time.

Hiya, I'm Kent.
I don't know any Kent.
Sure you do. Heather told me....
Yes, what DID she tell you, man?

Oh God. I was hoping we wouldn't have to repeat this.

Oh yeah! If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together!
Sure thing. Sounds about right. I'm Brian. Whaddya want to know man?

Wait, Brian? As in Brian Deluge? Hahahahahahaha.

I thought you were a great rock megastar? Why are you working in a dump like this? Oh, sorry, no offence.
None taken. This is a cover, Kent. So the Norms don't suspect me. I also use it to ship underground music to people.

Perhaps you shouldn't have stuck your rebel logo on your wall then?

Like your stuff? I'd like to hear some!
Later, man. Just do your job now.

Kent decides to admit to Brian that he stole the Total Clap CD.

I couldn't sort of borrow this, could I?
Look, Kenty babe! You either borrow summat or you don't. You can't 'sorta'. And yes, yes, you can 'sorta' borrow it. Just 'sorta' bring it back when you're done, all right?

Yeah, that 'sorta' aint going to happen, Brian.

What can you tell me about your subversive group, Bri?
Nothing you need to know right now, nosy parker. So just shut up and keep quiet, Kent! You'll know more when you earn the right to know more. Know what I mean?
Yeah, I hear ya. See you later Bri.
It's BRIAN to you, Kenty. Alright? Ciao.

It's always disappointing when you meet your idols only to find out they're gigantic tools.



Normality T-Shirts? Not cool.



In the back room, we have a new candidate for the prestigious and hard-fought Worst Wallpaper in Neutropolis award.

Cool! I love the REAL Axe Guitar!



What a nice piece of solid-state! I thought these were illegal and banned by Paul Nystalux.



Awarded to Brian Deluge for best-selling CD's. Must be a black-market chart system?



A record of every track by every group in the city.

You know, all of this stuff implicates you pretty heavily, Brian. It would probably be a good idea to have this locked up somewhere, rather than just in a back room open to the public.



Leaving the CD shop, Kent heads upstairs to the second open shop in the M.I.N.T. Mall.



This shopkeeper looks like she's asleep, but you can talk with her.

Hello Miss. Do you enjoy working in here?
Ha ha! You do stuff like that and it'll stunt yer growth! Uncle Jed was only 32cm tall at the age of thirty!
Are you listening to me?
This here's a tow-away zone. Pack up your bait box and high tail it!
You are as mad as a marble. You're no hope whatsoever. Goodbye.
These boots are made for walking...

I like to imagine she's actually completely sane, and was just looking to brush Kent off.



AAAGH! Ugh, that thing's scary!

Kent



Swipe!

Long-handed shears. OK, I have them. I don't, however, have enough money to purchase them.

That's never stopped you before, Kent.



WOW! These are great. I could have a pet without the tedious stuff like walks and feeding. Hang on, what's this... "Defective: Partially Deaf". Great!

So these toy dogs are going to bark, which will make the dog outside bark, forcing Norm 2782 to leave his post. That's fine. The problem is these toy dogs are the kind that bark when you clap, but they're partially deaf, so Kent's feeble limp-wristed clapping won't do it. We'll need that Total Clap CD to work. Also, for some retarded reason the dogs won't start barking in here, they need to be outside the shop. Yes, just on the floor there. No, it doesn't make any sense. For now, Kent just pockets one.



Cheesy rubber hand puppets. They are either meant to be rats or little horses. It's quite hard to tell, the craftmanship is a little, er... ambiguous.

This item is not needed at all, but it does allow us to get a clue in a later puzzle, which already has several clues. What the hell, we'll take one.



Kent swipes a glider, just because.



The big one is out of his reach, however. Fortunately, he has just stolen those long-handed shears.



With the saleslady mumbling away in the corner, Kent decides to just take his stolen goods and leave.



Shoplifting (0:13) - Unfortunately, the security scanner detects Kent's theft and Norm 2782 evicts him from the store.



Of course, Norm 2782 doesn't give a fuck when we just turn straight back around, re-enter the mall, and head straight back upstairs. Because Norm 2782 is an idiot.



This time, Kent decides to be a little cleverer. He puts the shears on that large glider...



...and throws it over the top of the scanner.



Likewise, he loads up a yappy puppy on one of the smaller gliders.



Not just one, you have to do it multipletimes. Also pictured: Kent cannot handle simple child's toys.



Fortunately, after three dogs, the game takes over.



Now that the dogs have been moved a tiny distance, everything has turned in Kent's favour! Tune in tomorrow to see the M.I.N.T. Mall sculpture painted a beautiful yellow!